The Rough Road
by randompast
Summary: An Aaron and Jackson story... Hopefully making up a more pleasant future than what they have in store at ITV :-s
1. Chapter 1

**The Rough Road**

_Disclaimer - I don't own anything to do with Emmerdale sadly, please don't sue me_.

_Hi! This is my first fanfic so I apologise if it's not good... Reviews and suggestions for improvement most welcome! It starts off in familiar territory but will fairly rapidly run off on its own._

Jackson wiped his forehead on the sleeve of his jacket and sighed at the pile of building materials still stacked up in the back of his van. He was fed up of lugging planks of wood and tools up a set of stairs that would give mountain goat vertigo, but there was simply no other option. He'd been at it since late morning and so far had only shifted about half of what he figured he needed. It was going to be a long afternoon.

He had just decided on taking some insulation upstairs instead of a particularly large and suspiciously heavy looking bag of plaster when he was interrupted.

"Oi mate!"

Jackson turned, letting the roll of insulation he'd just picked up drop back onto the floor of the van. Expecting a villager with some complaint about building noise or unsociable clouds of dust, he was surprised to find someone he didn't think he recognised standing in the road. Nope… He was sure he'd remember seeing a thin, blond skinhead with a truly hideous tracksuit wandering around the village.

"What can I do for you?" he asked.

"Was wondering if you knew where I could find Aaron Livesy?"

Jackson's brows pulled together as he scrutinised the younger man more closely.

"You a mate of his?"

"Something like that yeah."

The builder didn't like the smug little smirk that accompanied that comment at all, but he really didn't want to examine why he suddenly felt so wound up by it. After all, it certainly wasn't any of his business why strange young men were turning up in the village looking for Aaron, he could be friends with whoever he wanted. Jackson cleared his throat realising that he'd been stood there frowning at the man for the past 30 seconds or so.

"Urm… Have you tried the pub?" He remembered hearing Cain shouting to Aaron and Ryan that it was lunchtime about a half hour ago whilst he'd been shifting some equipment around upstairs in the cottage.

"Already looked and he weren't there." the skinhead replied sullenly.

"Well if he's not at the garage," Jackson said with a nod towards the corner of the building, "I've no idea where he might be." It wasn't strictly true, he could think of a few other places the young mechanic might be lurking, but he was no longer feeling in a helpful mood.

Without so much as a thank you, the blonde man turned and wandered off towards the garage. Jackson rolled his eyes and sighed. Just what the village needed, another rude and moody chav. Aaron had obviously found himself the perfect playmate. That thought made him scowl and he slammed the doors of his van, giving up on the idea of carrying anything else inside. He really wanted to do something loud, preferably involving hitting something repeatedly with a hammer. Disappearing inside he stomped up the stairs in search of something he could take his frustrations out on.

Aaron was standing outside the garage glaring into the engine of a small green Fiat. God how he hated this car! Three days he'd been working on it now and it was still refusing to start. It had seemed simple enough at first, but every time he thought he'd fixed whatever was wrong with it, the engine would make the same pathetic gurgling cough that it had been making since the vehicle had arrived and he'd be right back to square one. He was beginning to suspect that the car was out to get him. It didn't help that Cain and Ryan were both refusing to have anything to do with it. Each time he threw down his tools in frustration they'd tell him to look on it as a learning experience. Then they'd snigger at him. It had happened again earlier leaving Aaron in such a foul mood that he'd ignored them both when they'd gone for lunch, deciding that he'd get something on his own later.

If it had felt like each failure was getting him closer to finding the problem it might not have been quite so bad, but the fact was that nothing he did seemed to make the slightest difference, it was just as broken as ever. To make matters worse, the hours he spent trying to find the next thing that might need fixing gave him time to think about what, for want of a better description, he called his life. He snorted to himself at that thought. A life… It seemed to be something that other people had and he was completely lacking. Actually, maybe that was the real reason that he hated the Fiat – it felt like it was a reflection of his life. Every time he thought things were going to get better the result was disappointment and yet another trauma looming on the horizon. Living with his dad had ended in disaster so he'd ended up stuck with his mum and the rest of her insane family. Again things had all gone wrong and they'd ended up with Paddy… Then back to the Dingles, then back to Paddy's, there was no way anyone could describe his teenage years as having any semblance of stability. Victoria, Adam, Holly, one thing after another, then the whole hideous mess with coming out… Just thinking about what he'd done to Paddy still made him feel physically sick. A lump formed in his throat as his thoughts led naturally on to Jackson and how he'd treated him. Attempted suicide, court case and community payback and here he was back in the present stuck putting a new fuel pump into an evil little car. Sigh.

Jackson. If there was one mistake that he regretted more than anything else it was lashing out at him with his fists. Jackson who had, in a fashion, made him accept everything that had gone wrong for him before. If things had unfolded in any other way the chances were that he wouldn't have been in Bar West that night, he wouldn't have lost his phone and he wouldn't have caught a glimpse of a future where he might actually have a chance at some measure of happiness. Still, that was all ash now. Jackson wanted nothing more to do with him and, Aaron thought to himself, who could blame him. He was a mess and he messed up everything around him. He knew that the way his life had turned out was mostly down to his own short temper and poor decisions. He'd been trying to make better choices recently and it had even seemed to be working until he'd again reacted without thinking.

Aaron finally smiled with satisfaction at the newly installed fuel pump. He was confident that this time he'd found the solution that fixed all the problems… If at first you don't succeed blah blah blah… Now if he could just do the same with the rest of his life, keep trying to master his temper and to stop reacting purely on instinct every time things took a turn for the worse, maybe he could become someone worthy of the people who inexplicably seemed to care about him. He gave a loose looking bolt one final triumphant twist with a spanner then stared in disbelief as the head promptly sheared off and disappeared with a plink into the depths of the engine. "Maybe the universe just hates me after all." he thought. As if to prove the point the sound of approaching footsteps on gravel made him look up to see Wayne stalking towards him. Aaron scowled and wondered exactly what he had done to deserve this, then decided that he really didn't want to know the answer to that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Jackson was feeling much better. It was amazing how knocking a few holes in a wall with a sledgehammer could clear your head and put a smile on your face. The air was full of dust which was a clear sign of five minutes well spent, though now that he was thinking more clearly he was regretting that he hadn't arranged for some ventilation before attacking the wall. He made his way across the room and wrestled with the window. The frame must have swelled or warped as it was proving very difficult to budge and he added it to his increasingly long list of things in the cottage which needed sorting. Still, after a few moments struggle he finally got it to creak open, and muttering "Victory!" under his breath as he took a welcome lungful of fresh air.

The builder's good mood quickly evaporated at the sound of angry voices floating in through the window as he realised that it looked out over the garage. No… Not angry voices, just the one angry voice. Jackson's eyebrows shot up in surprise as he realised that for a change it wasn't Aaron that he could hear mouthing off, it was the other skinhead who'd spoken to him in the street earlier. He peered down at the scene below and felt his whole body tense. Spinning on one heal he ran out of the room and hurried down the stairs. He hoped that he'd be in time to stop Aaron doing something he'd regret, but given what he'd seen he fully expected to find the mechanic standing over a bloody mess by the time he reached them. The blonde man had been well inside Aaron's personal space angrily waving a finger in his face, an act that Jackson suspected would in itself normally be rewarded with a fist to some delicate area. The fact that the he'd also been yelling about Aaron being a queer and a fag and a pervert, along with a variety of other equally original expletives, pretty much guaranteed that Aaron would be inventively rearranging the man's face at any moment. He didn't even want to think about the possibility that Aaron might be the one who came off worse in the fight; he really wasn't sure what he could do if he came face-to-face with someone tougher than the mechanic.

Jackson burst through the front door of the cottage and charged round the corner to the garage worrying about what might greet him. He came to a sudden stop halfway up the driveway, surprised to see both young men still upright and apparently uninjured. If Jackson had been a gambling man he would have bet all his cash that Aaron would have kicked off by now and that he'd be having to drag the two of them apart. Instead, whilst Aaron was obviously angry – Jackson could clearly see his fists clenching and the muscle in his jaw twitching as he stared down at the ground – he seemed resigned to standing there taking the abuse rather than on lashing out at the man pacing up and down in front of him. It was puzzling to say the least.

The shouting had stopped but the remarks that the blonde man was directing at Aaron were just as poisonous as those he'd been yelling earlier. If anything it was even worse to hear someone quietly saying such things, their tone practically dripping with disgust. Even knowing what was at stake if Aaron reacted violently, Jackson could not believe that the young man was managing to control himself. He would have smiled if the situation hadn't been what it was. Still, he wasn't sure how long tempers would remain intact if the verbal abuse continued so, taking a deep breath and praying that things wouldn't escalate, Jackson stepped forward.

"Everything okay Aaron?" he asked quietly.

Aaron's head jerked up and his eyes widened at seeing Jackson standing a few metres away. The blonde skinhead spun round, the look of surprise on his face quickly being replaced by a scowl.

"What do you want?" he growled.

"Shut it Wayne! You leave him alone!" Aaron snapped, then in a calmer tone he addressed Jackson "It's fine, just go back inside and leave us be okay?"

Jackson couldn't help but scoff at that "Hah! If you think I'm leaving you alone with that" he said jabbing a finger in Wayne's direction, "you're dumber than you look mate."

Despite everything Aaron couldn't help but smile "You sure that's possible?"

"With you? Pretty sure!" Jackson grinned back.

For a second everything between them was fine again and Jackson remembered just how much he liked Aaron when he wasn't being a little shit, but all too soon reality came crashing back on them.

"Oh I get it!" Wayne interrupted, smirking as he moved towards Jackson, his hands balling into fists "You must be the boyfriend! You're both sick! Well I'm gonna teach you a lesson and your faggy little mate is gonna have to watch unless he wants to end banged up inside! Win-win for me I reckon!"

Jackson stood rooted to the spot, too shocked that the thug had suddenly turned on him to move. Before Wayne reached him however, the skinhead was suddenly dragged backwards and spun around.

"Jackson get out of here!" Aaron yelled before turning his attention back to Wayne "I thought I told you to leave him alone?" he hissed "You came here for me, not him, so go on then, take your best shot, I already told you I won't fight back."

"Fine by me." Wayne growled, and with that the blonde man pulled back his arm and drove a fist square into Aaron's face.

Without any thought Jackson's body kicked into gear, springing him forward as Wayne threw the punch, but he was just too far away to reach them before it connected. Everything seemed to slow down as he heard the sickening crunch of knuckle against bone, Aaron staggering back from the blow with blood spraying from a clearly broken nose. His assailant was already moving forward and readying for another attack, and Aaron wasn't making any move to defend himself. Jackson reached out and grabbed Wayne's arm just as it started to swing forward. He pulled hard, throwing the both of them off balance. In an effort to remain upright the two men staggered around one another ending up face to face, Jackson planted firmly in front of Aaron blocking him from further assault.

As he stood there, Jackson could hear Aaron gasping behind him, his laboured breathing gurgling painfully from his injury. Wayne was stood in front of him practically laughing as he gloated over the damage he'd caused, and that, more than anything else that had happened to him in his entire life, made Jackson's blood boil in his veins. Managing to sound much calmer than he was feeling, he addressed the blonde skinhead almost casually.

"If he hits you," he said with a backward jerk of his head "he goes to jail. But if _I_ hit you, it's just a caution init, what with it being a first offence and everything…"

Jackson surprised himself by feeling pleased at the sight of the leer evaporating from Wayne's face just before his fist connected with the skinhead's jaw. Pain exploded in his hand – he'd never punched anyone before and he really hadn't expected it to hurt so much. Despite the pain and feeling shocked that he'd actually hit someone, he felt a certain grim satisfaction at seeing the younger man lurch backwards looking dazed before stumbling sideways and slumping against the car that Aaron had been working on earlier.

Aaron… In the heat of the moment forgotten about Aaron! He spun round to find the teenager staring at him with eyes the size of saucers and his mouth hanging open.

"You hit him!" he blurted out, or at least that's probably what he said Jackson thought. With a broken nose and the blood flowing freely what actually came out of his mouth sounded more like "Goo ick mmm!"

Jackson shrugged ruefully as he cradled his aching hand to his chest.

"He pissed me off…" he mumbled, painfully aware that if that had been Aaron's excuse for punching someone Jackson would have been a mile away and accelerating by now.

Aaron's mouth snapped shut, his body tensed and in a split second his eyes went from being filled with stunned confusion to what Jackson could only describe as ferocious hatred. Remembering the look on the young man's face in The Woolpack all those weeks ago as he'd suddenly struck out… Jackson had always thought that that had been Aaron's 'angry' look, but now he knew differently. He'd seen that same look in his eyes a few minutes earlier when Wayne had turned on Jackson. It was fear not hate. In the pub Aaron had been terrified that people would find out that he was gay, and just now he'd been afraid for Jackson, trying to get him to run and turning Wayne's attention back to himself. What Jackson saw on his face now was pure rage and he couldn't think what he could possibly have done in the last few seconds to warrant being on the receiving end. Aaron rushed forward, his hands grabbing the front of Jackson's jacket and heaving to one side, the builder too confused to resist as he was swung round.

"Aaron what's wrong with…" Jackson started to say. Before he could finish the question Aaron's whole body suddenly jerked forward, his eyes rolling back into his head and he crumpled to the ground at the builder's feet like a puppet with its strings cut. For a second Jackson was too startled to do anything more than stare at the figure lying slumped on the ground, but a movement in the corner of his eye made him look up quickly. Wayne was raising a large spanner over his head, the same tool that had obviously knocked Aaron down just moments before. Suddenly it all made sense. Aaron's anger had been directed at the man behind Jackson rather than at Jackson himself. He felt sick thinking that the teenager had pulled him to safety and taken the blow meant for him.

Reacting on instinct Jackson launched himself at Wayne, grabbing at the spanner and trying to twist it out of his grasp. The two men struggled for a few seconds but Jackson quickly proved to be much stronger than his opponent. Carting all those bags of cement around has paid off he thought as he wrestled the weapon free and shoved the skinhead to the ground. Wayne desperately scrabbled backwards through the gravel as Jackson advanced on him with a scowl, hefting the spanner threateningly. With the tables turned Wayne suddenly wanted to be as far away as possible. Managing to roll over he scrambled to his feet and fled from the scene as fast as he could. Jackson watched him running off down the road out of Emmerdale, reluctant to turn his back on him a second time until he was sure the thug wouldn't be coming back.

Satisfied, Jackson hurried back up the driveway towards Aaron. The younger man was still lying where he'd fallen and Jackson was suddenly scared. He'd hoped to see the mechanic sitting up rubbing his head by now, but instead he just lay still like a broken doll. The builder came to an abrupt halt a couple of steps away, looking down in horror. The back of Aaron's head was wet with blood, his short hair spiking together in the sticky liquid, the pale gravel around him starting to stain crimson in a slowly creeping puddle. All he could do was stare down at the younger man, too terrified to touch him in case he found that Aaron was gone. He just couldn't be dead… Jackson needed to tell him that he'd forgiven him for everything, that he was sorry about putting him through the court case, sorry for deliberately trying to hurt him when he'd come up to him in Bar West to apologise… Most of all he wanted to tell Aaron how much he liked him and to see if maybe they could try again, get to know one another properly now that everything was out in the open.

Biting the bullet Jackson was leaning forward to check if Aaron was still breathing when he was grabbed from behind and thrown to the ground.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing?" Cain demand of the man currently sprawled on the ground in front of him. Jackson could only stare up at him with his mouth hanging open in shock.

"I said," Cain growled leaning down slightly, "What do you think you're doing?" As he spoke he gestured behind him to where his nephew was laid out on the gravel.

"I, I, I…" was all Jackson managed to stammer.

"Cain!" Ryan called out interrupting, "I think we need an ambulance!"

Cain glanced over to where his employee was kneeling down next to Aaron. Ryan had gone white as a sheet and was holding up his hands which were covered in blood.

"I can't tell if he's breathing!" the young man said sounding panicked.

"Shit!" Cain swore as he fished in his pockets for his mobile.

Jackson seemed to be recovering from the shock of being thrown on his arse. The builder was pushing himself up, moving towards Aaron.

"You stay put sunshine!" Cain shouted at him as he fumbled with his phone, "Don't even think about going any where near him!"

A couple of minutes ago he and Ryan had been heading back to work after a well earned lunch. Ryan had be rambling on about something or other that had been on TV the night before, Cain ignoring him whilst anticipating a quiet afternoon of making fun of Aaron and plotting his next scheme to annoy Declan.

"What's he up to?" Ryan had asked suddenly as the two of them rounded the corner and started up the slope towards the garage.

Cain had looked up to see Declan's little minion stood on the forecourt with his back to them, a large spanner gripped tightly in one hand as he stared down at something dark huddled on the ground a few metres in front of the garage doors. Partially obscured by Jackson's legs, it had taken him a couple of seconds to realise that the thing on the floor was a body clad in dark blue overalls. Looking at Ryan he'd found the young man staring back at him, eyes wide with shock. As one they'd turned and sprinted up the driveway, Cain grabbing at Jackson, Ryan running past and skidding to a stop to kneel at Aaron's side.

Jackson sat on the stony ground watching Cain dialling his mobile. He wasn't really sure what was going on right now, he'd been running on adrenaline for the past few minutes and it was taking its toll. He felt like all the energy was draining out of his body and his brain appeared to have suddenly become filled with treacle. Still, Cain seemed to know what he was doing so maybe it was fine just to sit here quietly for a minute and let someone else do the thinking.

"Ambulance…and police." Cain spoke into the handset whilst keeping his eyes on Jackson. He gave the address of the garage and his mobile number to the call handler before describing the situation.

"My nephew's been hurt… Head wound… It's bleeding a lot…"

"And a broken nose." Ryan added from where he was leaning down by Aaron's head.

"And a broken nose…" Cain added. "Yes, I'm with him, he's 18… No, he's unconscious… He's face down and we couldn't tell, should we turn him over? Wait a sec… Ryan, can you see if he's breathing without moving him?"

Ryan, who had been trying to get his ear as close to his friend's mouth as possible without touching him, glanced up at his boss "Yeah he is but he doesn't too sound good. He's got a pulse though."

"He's breathing and he's got a pulse… Can we do anything about the bleeding? It looks like he's lost a lot of blood already… Okay… Yep… Right yeah, hang on… Ryan, get a cloth and press it to the wound, try to keep his head still and if the blood soaks through just put another cloth over the top, don't move the first one…"

"I'll get something." Jackson said trying to get up, he felt useless just sat there doing nothing

"You're not going anywhere!" Cain barked, "Think you've done enough damage for one day and I don't want you sneaking off before the old bill gets here!"

The builder looked at him in confusion "But I've not done anything?"

Cain just glared at him and went back to his phone call. Jackson looked to Ryan questioningly but the mechanic avoided meeting his eyes and busied himself taking off his hoody and folding it against the back of Aaron's head.

"Right... How long 'til it gets here?... 20 minutes? What we supposed to do 'til then?... Okay fine just hurry up… Yeah right… Yeah… Okay… We need the police too, we've got the bloke that done it." Cain again glared at Jackson as he said this.

Jackson shot to his feet as he finally realised why Cain was being so aggressive towards him. Up until now he'd just put it down to the fact that the older man had never liked him much and that the current situation wasn't likely to bring out the best in even the most cheerful individuals, let alone Cain Dingle, but after that comment…

"You can't possibly think that it was me?" he exclaimed.

Cain maintained eye contact with the builder as he finished his phone call, only looking down briefly to press the disconnect button.

"So you're not the one that gave him a beating?" he asked quietly.

"Of course not! Why would I want to do something like that?"

"Oh I dunno… Maybe you're still pissed off that he gave you a smack in the gob? Or maybe you reckon that he deserved a bit more than community payback for it? You buggered off pretty sharpish after the judge made her decision… You afraid you might do something you'd regret in front of a bunch of witnesses if you'd stuck around?"

"You don't know nowt about me if that's what you think I'm like mate!" Jackson replied on the defensive "Violence ain't really my style, that's more yours and Aaron's area of expertise I reckon."

"Yeah right!" Cain spat back "Guess you bruised your knuckles baking fairy cakes last night eh? And don't tell me… The bloody spanner is this season's must have accessory?"

Jackson looked down at his hands and was surprised to see that he was still clutching the tool that he'd wrestled from Wayne earlier. Feeling ill at the sight of Aaron's blood splashed across the end, he quickly dropped it to one side, his hand starting to ache anew as soon as he'd relaxed his grip. Cain was right about the bruising, his knuckles were red and visibly darkening from their encounter with the skinhead's jaw.

"Okay…" he conceded, "I can kinda see where you're coming from, but honestly, there was this bloke… Aaron called him Wayne, I dunno who he was but they obviously knew each other and –"

"Save it for someone that's interested." Cain interrupted, "I'm sure the coppers will be all ears but I've got better things to do than listen to your little stories." With that he started tapping at his mobile again.

"Paddy… Yeah it's Cain… What? No… No!… Look shut up for a second will ya? You need to get down here soon as, it's Aaron, he's been hurt… Paddy… Paddy!… Paddy!… Jackson brained 'im with a spanner… Yes Jackson!... YES!... No… If he was ok do you think I'd be telling you to get your arse down here? The ambulance is on its way… No I called you first, I'll call her as soon as you get off the bloody phone!" with that Cain angrily ended the call but immediately started dialling again.

"Chas it's Cain, give me or Paddy a call when you get this message. Aaron's been hurt, we're taking him to the hospital."

While the older mechanic was making his calls Jackson had taken advantage of his distraction to edge towards Aaron. He didn't want to get too close just in case Cain got it into his head that he was up to no good but he couldn't stand just hanging around doing nothing at all.

"How's he doing?" he asked Ryan anxiously "Is there anything I can do?"

Ryan looked up from where he'd been concentrating on tending to his friend's head wound. The makeshift compress seemed to be helping, blood having yet to soak through the wadded up material.

"I'm not sure that would be such a good idea mate." he said glancing warily between his boss and Jackson "You're probably best just staying put for now yeah?"

"It wasn't me Ryan… I'd never do that to anyone, let alone Aaron!" Jackson pleaded, but Ryan just looked sceptical.

"The two of you haven't exactly been best friends since the court case or anything, all you ever seem to do is glare at each other. Then we turn up to find him with his head bashed in and you just standing there, no one else about… I mean what do you expect us to think?"

"I know, I know! But there _was_ another bloke! He's the one that broke Aaron's nose and hit him with the spanner… I punched him" at this he waved his bruised hand, "And I managed to chase him off, then you and Cain turned up a couple of minutes later…"

"I… I need to look after Aaron…" Ryan said awkwardly and turned his attention back to his friend.

Jackson sighed, it looked like he was stuck being the bad guy for now, there was nothing he could do to help and there was no way Cain was going to let him leave, not that he had any intention of going anywhere until he knew that Aaron was going to be okay.

The sound of running feet had Jackson turning quickly, his nerves still on edge from the stress of the afternoon, but it was only Paddy coming up the driveway at full gallop. The sight would have been almost comical if it weren't for the anguished look on the vet's face, his worry for his surrogate son plain for all to see.

"What the bleedin' heck is going on?" the large man gasped, bending down with his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. "Oh god!" he groaned as he took in Aaron's unmoving body and the blood stained gravel, "Is he… He's not… I mean he's not is he?"

"He's alive Paddy." Ryan reassured quickly "He was out cold and bleeding a lot when we got here but I think this is helping." he said with a nod towards the folded hoody he had pressed against the back of Aaron's head "The ambulance should be here soon hopefully."

"Right, yeah, okay… That's good. About the ambulance I mean, not about the bleeding obviously. That's not good at all. Bad in fact..." Paddy stuttered. He looked over to where Cain was shouting into his phone. From what they could hear he was obviously back on with the emergency services. "I guess if anyone can convince them to get here any faster it's Cain!" he managed with a rather weak grin. He turned back to Ryan, "So what happened? I mean Cain said… Cain said that Jackson… That he hit him with a spanner?" he asked with a glance over at where the builder stood a few feet away. The young man appeared completely dejected, his arms wrapped tightly around himself, but Paddy could see that he was watching Aaron carefully with a look of deep concern on his face with maybe sadness mixed in with the worry. He'd obviously heard what had just been said but hadn't reacted at all other than for a slight wince and a pursing of the lips.

"I dunno Paddy." Ryan sighed drawing the vet's attention "Like I said, it all happened before we got here. We came back from lunch, Aaron was like this and Jackson was standing over him with a spanner in his hand. Can't tell you much else."

"Jackson?" Paddy asked.

The builder looked up at him with miserable eyes. "I tried to explain to Cain but he wouldn't listen…"

"Well I'm listening." Paddy replied softly "Doesn't seem like there's much else I can do right now. I just need to know… I… I need to know what happened to him. Please…"

"This guy turned up looking for Aaron, I told him if he wasn't in the pub then to try the garage. Five minutes later I heard 'im yelling… Nasty stuff about Aaron being gay and all. I saw them out the window, thought Aaron was gonna go off on one so I ran down. The bloke turned on me, Aaron stopped him but got his nose broken for his trouble. I… I punched the guy, I dunno what came over me! I was just so angry that he'd hurt Aaron!"

"Do you know who he was?" Paddy asked.

"I've never seen him before but they knew each other, Aaron called him Wayne. Fairly tall, shaved blonde hair, skinny looking?"

Ryan looked up in surprise "He came in the pub when we were on lunch! He just looked about and then left again, everyone thought it was weird."

"So then what happened?"

"I went to check on Aaron but he grabbed me. Thought I'd pissed him off somehow but turned out he was protecting me. Wayne had come up behind me and was about to hit me with the spanner, but when Aaron pulled me out the way he…" Jackson gulped to clear the lump that had formed in his throat, "He got hit instead! I managed to get the spanner off Wayne and he ran off, guess he was scared of what I'd do to him… Anyway, you can figure out the rest." he finished, a wave of one hand taking in the scene around him.

"Well" Paddy said "That makes a lot more sense than Cain's story."

"You believe me?" Jackson asked in surprise.

"I know I don't know you very well but… Well I like to think that I'm not too bad a judge of character and you just don't seem the type to do something like this."

The look of relief and gratitude on the younger man's face told Paddy that he was right to believe his story, though he wasn't sure it would be of much help to Jackson, especially given that the Dingle clan would more than likely go with Cain's version of events. Still, he prayed that it would all prove to be academic and that Aaron would soon be able to tell everyone just what had happened himself. Any other alternative just didn't bear thinking about.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The sound of sirens and the arrival of two police cars and an ambulance had brought a sudden bustle of activity to Emmerdale village. Shop keepers stood on their doorsteps along with their patrons, all having simultaneously felt the need for a breath of fresh air. Net curtains the length and breadth of the street were twitching madly, faces appearing at windows, vanishing suddenly if they thought that they might have been spotted peering out by one of the neighbours. Sleeping dogs found themselves pleasantly surprised at being roused and attached to leads as their owners decided that an unexpected afternoon walk was in order. Already a small crowd had formed across the road from the garage, lured there by the irresistible scent of gossip like sharks detecting blood in the water. A police officer watched them warily from the end of the driveway, clearly signalling that no one was to approach too closely to the scene unfolding behind her.

Paddy and Jackson stood by the garage doors watching anxiously as the paramedics worked on Aaron. As soon as the medics arrived they had taken control of the situation. Ensuring that Ryan continued to keep pressure on the unconscious man's head wound, they'd checked his pulse and made sure he could breathe freely before making a failed attempt to wake him by calling his name and pinching his arm. Constantly talking to one another they were now carefully getting him into a neck brace in anticipation of moving him to the ambulance and then onto the hospital.

One of the police officers was walking around the area making notes on the scene and two more had been talking to Cain since they'd arrived. From the way the mechanic kept pointing angrily in his direction and glaring at him, Jackson could guess exactly what he was telling them. Paddy had tried to reassure him that everything would be all right but he was getting more and more nervous by the minute. He couldn't believe that less than an hour ago he'd been having a perfectly uninteresting day. Thinking back it seemed amazing that at the time the dullness of the morning had felt like a bad thing. Now he'd give practically anything to be bored! If he was bored it would mean that Aaron hadn't been hurt by some homophobic thug and they would both be quite happily getting on with being thoroughly uncomfortable at working right next door to one another. "Good times!" Jackson thought ruefully. Paddy nudged him with an elbow and he looked over to see one of the police officers heading towards Ryan and the paramedics, the other crossing the forecourt in their direction.

"Mr Kirk?" the policeman asked looking at Paddy.

"Yes… Yes that's me officer. What can I do for you?" the vet replied.

"My name's Constable Spence. Mr Dingle has advised that you arrived last on the scene, is that correct?"

"Yes that's right. I only came down after he rang me to tell me Aaron had been hurt."

"We'll need to take a statement from you at some point but, given that you weren't here when the incident took place or immediately afterwards, it should be able to wait for a bit. My colleague needs to have a word with Mr Lamb," he said with a nod towards the other group "And the paramedics could use someone to take over from him whilst they get the boy into the ambulance… Plus I'm sure you'd like to go with him to the hospital, everyone else here is going to have to stick around for a while longer. "

"Right, yes… I'd best get over there then." Paddy made to move off then turned back, "Oh! Jackson! Sorry… Will you be okay on yer own?"

"I'll be fine Paddy." the young man replied "You go take care of Aaron… And Paddy… Could you let me know how he's doing?"

"Course I will!" the vet answered with a small smile.

"Thanks."

"Oh… Mr Kirk?" Spence said stopping Paddy as he was moving away, "Someone will be coming down to the hospital later to talk to the doctors. I'll ask them to take your statement whilst they're there if it's convenient."

"Okey dokey." Paddy replied.

"PADDY!" Ryan yelled across the gravel before the vet could start moving again "Need you over here mate!"

The older man hurried away to replace Ryan on compress duty. Jackson watched as he gingerly replaced Ryan's hands with his own at Aaron's head. That done, the paramedics gently moved Aaron onto a stretcher before wheeling him to the back of the ambulance. In no time at all the young mechanic was in the back of the vehicle with Paddy and one of the paramedics, the other closing the door firmly before running round to climb into the cab. Then, siren wailing, they were gone.

Jackson felt sick. It wasn't until he'd lost sight of Aaron as the ambulance doors closed that he realised just how worried he was for the young man. He wouldn't even really have been able to explain why he felt the way he did. After all, he'd spent most of the time since being punched telling himself that Aaron was nothing but a thug and that he was best off out of any sort of relationship with him. The last thing he wanted or needed in his life was a violent teenager who came with more baggage than Terminal 5.

True, Adam turning up and telling him that Aaron had tried to kill himself had thrown him enough to allow himself to be dragged back to Emmerdale. For some reason he'd thought that after everything that he had been through Aaron might have changed, but if anything he'd been even more stubborn and obnoxious than before! Having fully resolved to never see the teenager again if at all possible, it had come as a surprise to Jackson to find himself turning up at his trial. He'd tried to sneak in quietly but the huge doors into the public gallery had ruined that plan, practically everyone in the courtroom turning round at the noise they'd made. He'd been unable to avoid meeting Aaron's vulnerable blue eyes as he'd stared up at him from the dock and Jackson had felt his stomach flip at the sight. Trying to squash down the unwanted feelings stirring inside, he'd given the young man the merest nod of acknowledgment but that had been enough to cause a flush of hope to cross the upturned face below him. Jackson had sat listening in shock as Aaron had turned back to the court and proceeded to tell the truth in front of everyone. The builder had honestly thought that he would never hear those words spoken, but he was beginning to realise that no matter what happened Aaron would always be able to surprise him. Whether that was a good or a bad thing he wasn't prepared to say. Listening to the pain and the fear in Aaron's voice he'd just wanted to reach out to take the young man in his arms and keep him safe. It was this more than anything that had driven him from the courtroom before the end of the proceedings, his head and his heart at war with one another, needing space to sort himself out. He'd known that he wouldn't be able to resist Aaron immediately afterwards, any resolve that he had left would crumble to dust with one glance of tear-stained sapphire eyes.

In the weeks that followed, Jackson had managed to convince himself that he'd been right to cut Aaron out of his life. The mechanic had sent him a few text messages and even tried to call him a couple of times following the trial but the builder had ignored them. Aaron was more trouble than he was worth as far as the builder was concerned. He'd had a moment of weakness when he'd seen the story splashed across the front of the local papers, knowing how horrified Aaron would be at having the details of his personal life laid out in black and white for all to see. He'd almost picked up the phone to call him and see if he needed someone to talk to, but in the end had spent the evening just staring at his mobile in indecision before giving up and going to bed. In the morning he'd been glad to find that the urge had passed.

It was easy enough to forget about Aaron when he was miles away in Emmerdale… Well, that wasn't strictly true. Jackson would find himself thinking about him more than he would care to admit. Walking down the street, catching sight of someone with cropped dark hair, or a young man in a hoody and trackie bottoms would have his heart beating faster; he couldn't have a game of pool without remembering his first meeting with the mechanic; worst of all, going to his favourite bar had him jumping every time the door opened and staring at whoever came through just in case he was met with a nervous glance from electric blue eyes… But yeah, apart from that forgetting about Aaron had been easy.

It was typical that when Aaron finally did put in an appearance at Bar West Jackson had been in the toilets, therefore missing his entrance and any time to prepare himself for a confrontation. Walking back to his mates at the pool table the builder had looked over to the bar considering whether or not it was time for another pint and there was Aaron looking back at him. The first thing that flashed through his mind was that Aaron was easily the best looking guy in the place; the second had been anger at himself for thinking that, quickly followed by resentment at the younger man for showing up and making him feel all these conflicting emotions. Clearly he'd been right when he'd decided that the two of them should stay away from each other, it was all just way too complicated. So, when the mechanic had eventually plucked up the courage to come over to talk to him he done the polite but distant routine, hoping that Aaron would get the message. Surprisingly it hadn't worked. Jackson had thought he'd given up but, a little later, he'd returned to try again. Aaron had said that wanted them to be mates but Jackson knew that that wasn't possible. There was no way he could be around the teenager for any length of time and not end up wanting to be more than friends, so he'd resorted to being mean. The look on Aaron's face as he told him that he didn't want to hang around with a headcase had almost broken his resolve but he kept telling himself that it was for the best. He'd been certain that this time he'd pushed the young man away for good, but the next time he'd turned around there was Aaron sat at a table watching him. Jackson hadn't known what to do, he would never have imagined that Aaron of all people would stick around after what had been said, but there he was, looking even more determined than before. It was weird… Completely out of character! In desperation Jackson had kissed one of his mates as they finished their game of pool. It was just a quick peck on the cheek, nothing at all between friends, but the builder had known that Aaron wouldn't recognise it for what it was. To Aaron a friendly smile was a huge public display of affection, but a kiss on the cheek… Well, Jackson may as well have thrown the man onto the pool table and ravished him in front of everyone. Sure enough, when he next looked over to where Aaron and his mate had been sat, all that greeted him was two half empty pint glasses. He should have felt better but he didn't...

"Mr Walsh... Mr Walsh? Are you okay?" Constable Spence intruded on his thoughts.

"What? Oh… Sorry! I was just… Sorry, everything just seems a bit unreal right now. Can't believe all this has happened."

The policeman nodded, scribbling something in his notebook before asking "Have you been drinking Mr Walsh?"

"No!" Jackson replied in surprise.

"Sorry, just had to ask. Procedure. Would you mind telling me what happened here please?"

The builder related everything that he could remember about the day so far, the constable making notes and only interrupting every so often to clarify something that he didn't understand. Whilst they were talking another police officer arrived. She walked around taking photographs of everything, collected the spanner from where it had fallen, sealing it away in plastic bag before coming over to Jackson.

"Sorry to interrupt." she said brightly "I believe you've had a bit of a punch up? I just need to swab your hands. It's for DNA. Is that okay?"

"Urm… Yeah sure." Jackson replied holding out his hands.

"You said that Mr Lamb confirmed that he'd seen the man you described as the assailant in the pub earlier?" Constable Spence continued as his colleague got on with her task.

"Yep that's right. Ryan said that he'd gone in, looked around and then left."

The policeman turned to one side and talked quietly into his radio. Jackson could see the officer who was talking to Ryan pause to listen to her own radio before returning her attention to the mechanic.

"Do you remember if anyone else was around when he spoke to you on the road?" Spence continued

"Err… I don't think there was anyone… Not that I can remember at least. Sorry." for once Jackson really wished that one of the village busybodies had been making their rounds. It was typical that the one time he could have done with someone poking their nose into his business they'd all taken the day off.

"Right, I think I've got everything I need…" Spence said flipping through his notebook "Would you mind coming down to the station with us so that we can go through your statement and get all the paperwork signed? We'll be asking Mr Dingle and Mr Lamb to accompany us as well."

"I guess. Don't think I'll be getting anymore work done today as it is! Can I go lock up the cottage?" Jackson asked.

"That's fine, I'll go with you." the policeman answered.

The builder hurried down to Dale Cottage, closed and locked the door and then made sure his van was secure before following Constable Spence to where his colleague was waiting for them by their vehicle. Ryan and Cain were going with one of the other officers.

From his position in the back seat of the police car, Jackson's last view of Emmerdale was of a crowd of villagers all vigorously gossiping to one another as they stared at him being driven away. He suddenly had a very bad feeling.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Jackson took a deep breath trying to calm himself down. His legs felt like rubber and his hands were shaking so much that so far he'd been unable to make it to the end of the number he was attempting to dial without going wrong. Picking up the handset again he put it to his ear and tried as best he could to get his fingers to hit the correct buttons. Pressing the final digit he prayed that he'd got it right as he listened to the whirring and crackling on the line before a strange foreign ring tone kicked in. The phone rang and rang and Jackson was beginning to despair when there was an abrupt click in his ear followed by a burst of people shouting and laughing, then the voice he most wanted to hear in the world just now answered breathlessly.

"Hellooooo Hazel Rhodes here! Whoever this is had better be devastatingly handsome with a huge… Bank balance!" Jackson could hear a cheer and more laughing in the background. Despite everything he couldn't help but smile at his mother's greeting, but all too soon reality reasserted itself and he again felt like he might breakdown at any moment.

"Mum-" was all he managed to get out before he was interrupted.

"Jackson! One out of two ain't bad I guess eh! Say hello to my son Jackson everyone!"

Jackson had to hold the phone away from his ear at the sound that blasted through the earpiece, it sounded like a hundred people shouting "HI JACKSON!" all at once.

"Mum-" he tried again.

"What can I do for you darling? Missing your old mum I'll bet, couldn't go another minute without hearing my voice I'm sure!"

"Mum!" Jackson choked out the word this time, his throat closing up with emotion.

Hearing the distress in her son's voice Hazel was suddenly all business, the levity of a moment before evaporating instantly. "Jackson! What's wrong?"

"Mum… I need you. Please…" was all he could gasp in reply.

"Jackson! Are you okay? Are you hurt? Tell me what's the matter love!" Hazel replied, her voice rising with worry.

"Oh mum… I've been arrested! They're charging me with GBH… They think I hurt Aaron!"

-x-x-

Constable Spence had led Jackson through the police station and into a quiet room somewhere towards the back of the building. There the two of them had gone over the events of the afternoon again, the policeman referring back to his notes and Jackson trying to remember anything that he might have missed. Finally the builder's statement was all written up and, having read through it one last time, he'd signed his name to it as being as accurate as he thought possible. Spence had then taken Jackson through to a large open office and left him with a sergeant who had gone through all his personal information before fingerprinting him. As he'd been wiping his fingertips clean with the tissue provided, Jackson had asked the policeman if there had been any news from the hospital regarding Aaron's condition. The officer had apologised saying that he wasn't attached to the case so didn't have any information for him. He'd then showed the builder into a small waiting room advising that someone would be through to see him shortly. An hour later Jackson was still sat there and the nagging worry that had been troubling him since leaving Emmerdale was stronger than ever. He was just wondering whether he should get up and try to leave when an middle aged man in somewhat crumpled suit popped his head round the door.

"Mr Walsh? I'm Detective Inspector Blake. Could you come with me please?"

Jackson would have been relieved to find that he hadn't simply been forgotten about, but the fact that a detective was now asking to speak to him didn't seem terribly reassuring. He'd followed the older man down a corridor and into an interview room where he'd been waved into an uncomfortable plastic chair before the DI had seated himself opposite.

"Is there a problem?" Jackson had asked "I was hoping to get to the hospital soon to see how Aaron's doing."

"Just a few more questions Mr Walsh, nothing to worry about!" the detective answered as he flipped through a file that he'd brought in with him. "Now, I've read through your statement but I wondered if you could just go through this afternoon's event for me in your own words."

The builder had stared at the other man with his mouth hanging open. "I've already been through it at least three times with Constable Spence!" he'd exclaimed.

"I always find it best to go through these things face to face rather than just being content to read them off a page, you get a much better sense of what went on hearing it out loud you know – straight from the horse's mouth that's what I always say!" DI Blake had smiled back pleasantly.

Jackson had sighed and proceeded to go through everything that had happened yet again. At least this time the policeman had listened to the story without interrupting so it had gone much faster. Even so, time was ticking away and he was getting more and more anxious to find out what was happening with Aaron. He'd thought he'd only be at the station for a couple of hours at most but it had already been double that.

"Tell me Mr Walsh, this man that you claim assaulted Mr Livesy… Would you recognise him again if you saw him?" Blake enquired.

"Definitely… And I'm not claiming he's the one who hit Aaron, he _is_ the one who hit Aaron!"

The detective had nodded briefly and then pulled a photograph from his file.

"Is this the man you saw?"

Jackson picked up the picture and scowled, immediately recognising the thug from the garage.

"That's him! You know who he is?"

"His name's Wayne Dobson, he's had a few run ins with us here, much like your Mr Livesy in some ways I suppose. In fact they were on community payback together until this morning actually. It was Mr Dobson's last day, serving his time for his most ambitious crime yet, the theft and reckless driving of a mobility scooter… Given the circumstances you can probably understand why I was quite surprised to find that he apparently decided to commit a violent assault on his way home?"

"Have you caught him?"

"One of my colleagues is currently interviewing him as we speak. I'm hoping to have his statement very soon now. I don't suppose you feel like adding anything to your statement in light of this new information?"

Jackson stared at the policeman incredulously "You're suggesting that it was me that beat up Aaron? I've never been in trouble with the police for violence before, or anything else for that matter, and here you are trying to imply that I bashed someone's head in with a spanner?"

"I don't believe I implied anything of the sort Mr Walsh, I merely asked if you had anything to add to your statement. As for your capacity for violence, you've already admitted to assaulting Mr Dobson." Detective Blake said coolly.

"He was attacking my mate!" Jackson almost shouted "What would you have had me do? Call the police and wait 20 minutes for you to turn up whilst Aaron was being bashed to a pulp?"

"Oh, so Mr Livesy's your 'mate' is he? That _is_ strange… I've got a number of statements here," Blake said tapping the file "That would indicate that the two of you were anything but. The very reason Mr Livesy was on community payback is that you filed assault charges against him, hardly a friendly thing to do wouldn't you say? In fact I'm informed that you considered Mr Livesy to be, and I quote 'A head case' and that you 'wanted nothing more to do with him'. So perhaps you'd like to explain to me just how exactly you were mates? Cos to be honest with you Mr Walsh, if that's how you feel about your friends I'd hate to get on your bad side!"

Jackson had been saved from answering by a knock at the door.

"What?" Blake had snapped, obviously annoyed at having his interrogation interrupted.

A nervous looking constable peered round the door "Urm… You said you wanted this as soon as it was ready sir?" he'd said holding out a few sheets of paper.

"Ah yes, thank you constable." the detective replied regaining his composure. He stood up and took the pages before shooing the other policeman out of the room. Returning to his seat he proceeded to scan the document, snorting quietly at various points and every now and again making 'hmm' noises whilst Jackson sat opposite trying to figure out just how trying to help Aaron out could have gone so horribly wrong.

"Well!" Blake had suddenly exclaimed making the builder jump, "This is interesting! Mr Dobson certainly had a lot to say for himself! Would you like to know his version of events?"

Without waiting for an answer the policeman had started to summerise Wayne's statement. "You'll be pleased to know that he confirms everything that you told us…" Jackson had looked suddenly hopeful at that, "Up to where he went round the corner after talking to you that is." Blake finished his sentence with a tight smile. "After that he claims that he and Aaron were having a reasonable conversation – apparently there had been some tension between them on community payback and Mr Dobson wanted to apologise for his behaviour – when you came running up accusing them of having some sort of homosexual affair. It goes on to say that you then punched Mr Livesy in the face, knocking him to the ground, and when Wayne tried to intervene you punched him as well, grabbed a spanner from a nearby toolbox and threatened him with it. At this point he ran away and didn't see anything further that may have transpired between you and Aaron."

Jackson had been shaking his head as the older man spoke. "You can't possibly believe that surely?"

"Of course not!" Detective Blake laughed.

"So you believe me?" the builder had sighed in relief.

"Oh good heavens no Mr Walsh! I wouldn't have got to where I am today if I went around believing everything that suspects tell me! I believe in facts and evidence. Both yours and Mr Dobson's stories account for the events but obviously they can't both be true. The results of the preliminary analysis of the weapon should be in shortly and that might give us something more to go on. The fingerprint evidence should help us decide which one of your stories is the most likely given that Mr Dobson's made no mention of having touched the spanner. Until then of course both you and Mr Dobson will remain here."

"Have you interviewed Aaron yet? I assume that you'll believe his version of events?"

Detective Blake had frowned, studying Jackson carefully, obviously debating on how to respond.

"I wouldn't get your hopes up on that score. The officer at the hospital reported in an hour ago. Mr Livesy's head wound was extremely serious. He's currently in a coma and his doctors have only given him a thirty per cent chance of surviving the next 24 hours. I'll let you figure out how likely it is that he'll be up to making a statement any time soon. You'd better hope that this assault case isn't a murder investigation by morning."

With that Blake had picked up his documents and swept out of the room leaving a stunned Jackson in the care of an officer who had been patiently waiting outside.

Two hours later Jackson found himself back in the interview room opposite Detective Blake. Before the policeman could say anything Jackson had asked him if he had any news of Aaron but there had been no change in the mechanic's condition.

"The fingerprint results are back from the lab and they're not good news for you I'm afraid." Blake had continued "The only recoverable prints on the spanner were yours which supports Mr Dobson's version of events. However, the fact that we couldn't identify the fingerprints of anyone from the garage might be of some consolation to you as it would indicate that your handling of the weapon obliterated all previous prints. We're running DNA tests but they'll take a good while longer. In the meantime it's been decided that we have sufficient evidence to charge you with the assault on Aaron Livesy, therefore it's my duty to advise you that I am placing you are under arrest for grievous bodily harm…"

Jackson hardly heard anything after that, he was concentrating too hard on not throwing up. This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't!

"Mr Walsh? I asked if you'd like to make a phone call?" Detective Blake's voice broke in on his thoughts.

"Wha… Oh… Yes, I think I need to call my mum…"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Paddy anxiously paced up and down the visitors room glancing at the clock every few seconds. It had been over an hour since they'd arrived at the hospital. Over an hour since Aaron had been whisked off by a group of agitated doctors and nurses. Over an hour of agonised waiting for even the smallest bit of news. He asked every hospital worker that he saw if they had any information on the teenager's condition, every time the answer was the same – as soon as they knew anything someone would be out to see him. It was driving him crazy! Someone somewhere must know _something_, it was impossible that everyone in the entire building knew nothing! It felt as if the young man that Paddy thought of as a son had simply ceased to exist for everyone but him, and he could feel himself getting annoyed. Any minute now he knew he was going to snap and then…and then… 'Well, and then I'll probably pace some more before politely asking the next nurse I see if they've heard anything.' he thought with a sigh.

If their positions had been reversed and it was Aaron stuck out here and Paddy god knows where, the vet knew that the young man would have been stalking the corridors accosting everyone he came across demanding to know what was going on… Admittedly by now the teenager would probably have been thrown out of the building by hospital security, or worse, removed by the police, so maybe playing the 'What would Aaron do in my shoes?' game wasn't the best idea under the circumstances. Come to think of it, Paddy couldn't imagine any situation where it would be wise to play that game unless you wanted to end up up to your eyeballs in trouble…

Poor Aaron, he really was his own worst enemy, but despite everything the vet couldn't help but love him. Even though most of the time he was rude and moody and temperamental, every so often Paddy would catch a glimpse of something else, something usually kept hidden behind the walls the teenager had spent his whole life constructing, something… Worthwhile was the only word he could think of to describe it.

There was so much more to Aaron than most people could possibly imagine, only a very few ever got to see the shy, sweet, vulnerable young man hiding behind the stony façade of apathy and aggression. Paddy had probably seen that side of him more than anyone and that was why he was the most willing to forgive him his mistakes - the hope that one day the walls would come down and the man he knew he could be would step out into the light. Adam saw it too the vet knew, and he'd thought that maybe, most recently, Jackson might have seen past the defences.

In the short time since they'd met, the builder had certainly had a huge impact on the teenager's life, more so than Paddy would have dreamed possible. He remembered all too well the terribly broken individual who had emerged the night that he'd confronted Aaron about being gay. The vet had been terrified for himself at first but, as he realised that he'd released a miserable, self-loathing person that the young man had been keeping bottled up inside, his fear for Aaron had outstripped his own. Listening to the way he talked about himself, the hate and the disgust he felt for who he was, Paddy had despaired of their ever being able to work through it. He hadn't counted on Jackson though.

He still wasn't really sure how it had happened, but the builder had gotten through to Aaron and suddenly the two of them were together in some undefined sort of way. The teenager seemed, if not exactly happy, then at least to have the potential for being happy maybe sometime in the near future. Paddy had watched him pull himself together and actually start to move forward with his life, albeit with tiny, tiny steps. And there in the background had been Jackson, able to relate to and understand Aaron in a way that the vet knew that he never could.

In hindsight Paddy wondered if he should have seen what was coming. Maybe he'd just been so pleased with the progress being made that he hadn't thought to consider the fact that, whilst Jackson might understand what the young mechanic was going through now, he had little to no understanding of who or what Aaron actually was outside of his sexuality.

When he'd heard that Aaron had punched Jackson in front of everyone in the Woolie, Paddy had been suitably shocked and horrified, but when he stopped to think about it he wasn't actually surprised. Aaron hadn't told anyone else in the village that he was gay, not even his friends or his family. He didn't want any of them knowing his private business, terrified of what they would think and say despite his pretence of not caring about people's opinions.

If only he'd thought to talk to Jackson, maybe to explain a little about Aaron's past and how his mind worked, maybe then all the unpleasantness could have been avoided, but for once he hadn't wanted to interfere, afraid that he might scare the builder away. Instead it had been Aaron who had driven away the one person he had connected with since coming out, the one person he felt he could talk to. That, coupled with finding out that Paddy had broken his trust and told Chas and Marlon his secret, had plunged him back into his pit of despair and self-loathing. Feeling betrayed and utterly alone he had tried to take his own life.

Paddy came back to the present with a start. He could feel tears stinging his eyes… It was too soon to be back in a hospital like this, the emotions still raw from the last time he'd paced around a waiting room desperate for news of Aaron's condition. The young man didn't deserve this, not after he'd so bravely faced up to himself and to the world that day in court. He'd been making real progress in the last few weeks. Everyone knew he was gay and the world hadn't come to an end. In fact nobody really seemed to care despite the village gossips having gone into overdrive. Life had actually been getting back to normal but with the bonus that he didn't have to hide who he really was anymore. And now this! It simply wasn't fair.

The vet sat down with a sigh. Taking off his glasses he rubbed his eyes before resting his head in his hands. Why was it taking so long? He decided that he was going to find someone who knew what was happening and he was going to make them tell him what was going on! Climbing back to his feet he was just about to step out of the room to hunt for a nurse when his mobile began to jingle insistently. Fishing it out of his pocket he suppressed a groan at seeing Chas's name flashing on the caller display. He knew that she needed to know what was going on but he'd really hoped that Cain would be the one to tell her. Presumably Aaron's uncle was still with the police which left Paddy in the lurch. Pressing the button to connect the call he put the phone to his ear.

"Chas?" he asked tentatively.

"PADDY! WHAT THE FLAMIN' HELL IS GOING ON?" the vet winced as he quickly pulled the handset away from his head. By god but that woman was loud, he could still hear her voice screeching out of the phone which he now held at arms length. Careful not to get too close to the speaker he spoke into the microphone.

"Chas calm down! CHAS! Stop shouting! Please!" the voice emanating from the phone suddenly cut off and the vet risked putting it back to his ear.

"Paddy, what's going on? I got a message from Cain saying that Aaron's been hurt! I've been trying to call him but he's not answering! He said to ring you!" Chas's distressed voice came through at a much more reasonable volume.

"I'm at the hospital. I think Cain is probably still with the police… Aaron was attacked at the garage… Where are you?"

"I'm in a taxi. It is Hotten General isn't it? I should be there in a few minutes! What do you mean attacked? By who? Is he okay?"

"Urm yep Hotten General. I'm not exactly certain what happened… The police are looking into it, I'm sure they'll sort it all out. Err… I don't really know how he's doing. I've been trying to find out but nobody will tell me anything!"

"Oh Paddy!" Chas cried into the phone "This can't be happening again, I just can't handle it!"

"I'm sure it'll be okay." Paddy tried to reassure her even though he was feeling the same way "Just… Just get here as soon as you can yeah?"

"We're just pulling up now, I'll be there in a minute." came the reply.

The vet let her know where in the building he was before hanging up. He stepped out of the room to wait for Chas and it wasn't long before he heard the rapid clacking of high heeled shoes approaching down the corridor. The dark haired woman flew round the corner and tottered at high speed towards him before throwing her arms around him with a sob. Paddy patted her on the back, making soothing noises in an attempt to calm her down. With a deep breath she drew away, pulling herself together as best she could.

"Has there been any news?" she asked.

"No... They took him away about an hour and an 'alf ago and I've been trying to get someone to give me a straight answer ever since, but you know what they're like. Getting blood out of a stone's easier than getting a doctor to talk to you." the vet said with a frown.

"Right!" Chas exclaimed angrily, straightening her top and drawing herself up to her full height, "We'll see about that!" With that she promptly strode off towards the nurses station, Paddy quickly trotting after her in case the hospital staff needed rescuing.

"Oi you!" Chas shrieked at the first nurse she came across, "Aaron Livesy? I'm his mum and I want to know what's going on. Now."

"Mrs Livesy?" the nurse began, staring in surprise at the woman who had loomed up out of nowhere and was now stood in front of her with hands planted firmly on hips, eyebrow raised and a very unimpressed expression on her face.

"Miss Dingle _actually_." Chas corrected with a scowl.

"Urm… Sorry… Miss Dingle. As soon as there's any word someone will be through to talk to you…"

"That ain't good enough! You've been telling 'im that for the past hour and a half!" Chas jerked her head towards Paddy who was standing slightly behind her looking apologetically at the young woman who was stuck on the receiving end of the Dingle charm.

"I'm sorry but you'll need to speak to one of the doctors and they're busy trying to help your son at the moment. If you could just wait a little longer I'm sure that someone will be with you soon."

Paddy could see Aaron's mother taking a deep breath, getting to ready to let loose a tirade on the poor nurse. "Thank you very much!" he blurted out as he dragged Chastity back towards the waiting room.

"PADDY! What you doing? I was talking to the nurse!"

"You were just going to yell at her!" the vet exclaimed, "No stop!" he interrupted as Chas opened her mouth to speak "I know you're worried about Aaron, I am too, but taking it out on the nurses isn't going to help! We've been through all this before; hard as it is you know we're just going to have to wait… And we're much more likely to get some news if everyone isn't terrified of coming anywhere near you!" he finished.

Chas had gone red in the face and he knew that he was about to get the ear bashing of his life when the door suddenly opened and a woman with greying brown hair stepped into the room.

"Mr Kirk? You're here for Aaron Livesy? I'm Doctor Cole."

"Yes yes, I'm Paddy Kirk, pleased to meet you… And this is Chas Dingle, Aaron's mum."

"Ms Dingle." the doctor greeted them with a nod. "I'm sorry for the wait but I came as soon as I could. Perhaps you'd like to sit down?" she said indicating a set of chairs at the end of the waiting room.

Faced with finding out what was happening to Aaron, Chas seemed to deflate from the confident, demanding woman she'd been a minute ago, leaving behind a pale worried mother. "Is he going to be okay?" she asked the doctor as the group settled.

"Aaron has suffered a very severe blow to the head. Lacerations to the scalp caused extensive loss of blood at the scene and we've had to give him several transfusions. More seriously, the blow caused a depressed skull fracture and a piece of bone punctured an artery resulting in an epidural haematoma – that's a type of injury where blood pools under the skull putting pressure on the brain… We managed to repair the artery and have drained the haematoma to relieve the pressure but he's currently in a coma."

"So… Do you know when he'll wake up?" Paddy asked tentatively.

"You have to understand that his injuries were very serious, and there are no definites when it comes to head trauma, especially ones where the brain is so involved. I can only give you statistics, no guarantees…"

"Please… Just tell us he's going to be ok." Chas pleaded with tears in her eyes.

The doctor sighed and looked down at Aaron's file. "With the state of his injuries at present I would say there's maybe a thirty per cent chance of him surviving the next twenty four hours. But please remember," the doctor hurried on at Paddy and Chas's horrified gasps "As I said, these type of situations are very difficult to predict, people have been known to wake up suddenly with nothing worse than a bad headache. I just want you to be prepared."

"Right… Thank you doctor." Paddy managed to choke out. Chas seemed to have shut down, tears streaming down her face.

"I need to be getting back." the doctor said apologetically climbing to her feet, "You should be able to see him once we've got him settled into the ICU. I'll get a nurse to come get you when everything's ready."

-x-x-

Aaron floated in darkness. He wondered if he should be scared but he didn't seem to be able to come up with an answer. Everything in his mind was confused, thoughts and memories refusing to come into focus. It was pleasant in a way, not having to think, being unable to remember anything clearly. It meant that he was free, experiencing only the moment and, all things considered, the moment was good. He felt like he was drifting in liquid warmth, nothing to concern him, safe and peaceful. Time seemed to have no meaning, seconds or hours or even years could have passed since he became aware that he was here, wherever that was. Smiling he allowed himself to flow with whatever currents passed through this midnight ocean.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Hazel could hardly believe that just a few hours ago she had been enjoying a carefree night out with a group of friends, eating, chatting and sipping wine in a little restaurant with stunning views of the Eiffel Tower. Now, here she was, back in rainy Yorkshire with the weight of the world on her shoulders. Thank god that she had hit it off so well with their tour guide Kate.

As soon as she'd found out that Hazel's son was in trouble Kate had taken her back to the hotel and gone into organisation mode. By the time Hazel had thrown her things into her suitcases and gathered all her belongings together, Kate had been waiting with flight bookings, coach reservations and taxi confirmations.

Hazel would never have thought it possible, but before she knew it she'd been whisked to the airport, deposited onto a plane to Leeds, flown across the channel, shuttled onto a coach to Hotten bus station where a taxi had been waiting for her. She'd considered heading straight to the police station but it was so early in the morning that it was practically last night, so instead she'd had the taxi drop off at Jackson's flat. Having dumped her luggage in the hall, the first thing she did was to make a brew and try to calm down a little. It certainly wouldn't do her son any good to turn up more tightly wound than a watch spring.

She decided to have a quick shower, washing away the grime of her journey then dressing in fresh clothes she felt almost human, albeit a very tired human. She'd not been to bed since the night before… Twenty years ago, staying out for two days straight wouldn't have fazed her in the slightest she remembered wistfully. Oh well, live and learn and all that. Or not as the case maybe!

The thought of Jackson sitting cold and alone in a jail cell was all she needed to banish any feelings of exhaustion. Grabbing the yellow pages she'd quickly found the number for a local taxi firm and thirty minutes later she was climbing out onto the damp pavement in front of Hotten police station. Climbing the steps, she pushed open the door and walked up to the desk sergeant.

Hazel had been worried that they wouldn't let her see Jackson, or that there would be endless forms to fill in, but in the end she had just had to provide ID and sign in before they'd taken her through to a small room and asked her to wait. A few minutes later a young police officer had brought a pale looking Jackson in before going to stand in a corner looking bored. At the sight of her son she'd jumped up and thrown her arms around him.

"Oh my poor boy! You look dreadful! They had better be treating you properly!" Hazel exclaimed glaring daggers at the policeman in the corner.

"I'm fine mum, just a bit tired… Not really been able to sleep. I just can't believe that this is happening!" Jackson said miserably running a hand over his face.

"It's ok love, it'll all come right I know it! Why don't you tell me what happened?"

Her son heaved a huge sigh before going through all the events that had led to the two of them ending up here.

"…and if Aaron doesn't make it they say that I'll be charged with manslaughter instead of GBH. The DNA results could take weeks and who knows what they'll come out as! I mean the fingerprints didn't help, what if there's just my DNA on the damn thing?" Jackson finished. Hazel didn't think she'd ever seen him look so defeated, not even the time that his father had turned his back on them.

"You can't think like that! You'll be out of here in a bit and then things will seem better. They'd can't keep you locked up for more than twenty four hours right?"

Jackson snorted at that "Yeah, provided Aaron doesn't die! Otherwise I could be stuck here for god knows how long!"

"Well we'll just have to hope that he can do something right then hadn't we?" Hazel responded. She'd meant it to lighten the mood but she regretted the words as soon as they were out of her mouth. Her son was looking at her in horror.

"Mum! It's not like Aaron asked for this to happen!" he exclaimed.

"I know, I know! I'm sorry… It's just that, well, you haven't exactly had the best run of things since you met him have you? He seems to be so much more trouble than he's worth from what you told me. You were always arguing and fighting, not to mention he hit you Jackson! And now you're the one in jail!"

"If it weren't for Aaron it would be me in the hospital mum… You could be visiting me in there and wondering if I'm going to live or die rather than whether or not I'm going to go to prison. That bloke was going to battered me but Aaron took it instead… That should tell you enough about him to know why I couldn't keep away. I really, really tried to though, and now I can't even figure out why! All that time I wasted when we could've been sorting stuff out, and now I might not even get the chance to say sorry for being such idiot!" Jackson groaned burying his face in his hands.

Hazel sighed. She'd known ever since he started talking to her about Aaron that Jackson had fallen hard for the younger man. At first she'd been thrilled for her son; it had been a long time since she'd heard him so enthusiastic about anything, let alone his love life. The more she heard though, the less she liked the sound of the situation. Jackson deserved more from a relationship than she thought Aaron would possibly be able to give him any time soon. The boy was obviously still struggling with accepting himself let alone having other people accept him. She'd raised the subject a couple of times but Jackson had assured her that he knew what he was doing and that he was happy enough for the moment so she'd let it drop. Then Aaron had hit him. It had only been her son's reassurances that he would be pressing charges and his admission that he'd been wrong that had prevented her coming rushing back then and there to give the teenager a good hiding. She wished she'd gone with her instincts now, though given the way that Jackson had just been talking about Aaron she probably wouldn't have been able stop him from eventually being drawn back to the younger man.

"You know what your problem is love?" she said reaching out to hold his hand, "Your heart's too big. You get that from me you know. You certainly don't get it from your father; why I married that man I shall never know. Though he gave me you so I suppose I should be grateful. Just not too grateful obviously."

Hazel looked at her son sitting dejectedly opposite her, trapped in the police station for as long as the police could keep him. Resigning herself to the fact that he could be as stubborn as she was she asked "Is there anything I can do?"

Jackson raised his head and looked at her thoughtfully for a few seconds.

"Yeah there is actually…" 

_Reviews welcome! :)_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Paddy and Chas followed the nurse towards the intensive care unit. The pair walked in silence, each absorbed in their own thoughts and worries for Aaron. Despite the vet's efforts to console her, Chas had hardly stopped crying since the doctor had broken the news about her son's condition. Paddy himself had found it difficult to maintain his composure but he was trying to be strong and was putting on a brave face for Chas's benefit.

As they neared the doors to the ICU they heard a shout from behind them. Turning, they found Cain and Ryan hurrying down the corridor towards them. Chas launched herself at her brother, wrapping her arms around him sobbing anew into his shoulder. Cain looked to Paddy in shock.

"He's not… Aaron's not… He's not dead is he?" he said to the vet as he wrapped his arms around his sister.

"No no!" Paddy reassured quickly "But he's not in a good way. Ee's still not woken up… Doctor says he's in a coma and… Well, it's not good."

"I'll flamin' murder Jackson when I get my hands on 'im!" Cain growled "I should've sorted him out before the old bill showed up!"

"What's Jackson got to do with this?" Chastity managed as she pulled away slightly from her brother.

"Didn't you tell her what happened?" the mechanic asked Paddy incredulously.

"Tell me what?" Chas asked looking between the two men "Ee said that he didn't know what'd happened!"

"It was Jackson what battered him! That's what happened!" Cain exclaimed.

"Paddy! Why didn't you tell me?" Chas asked heatedly, glaring at the vet.

"Because we don't know that that's what happened!" Paddy protested.

"Oh come off it!" Cain scoffed "He's as guilty as sin!"

"So you actually saw Jackson hit Aaron did you?" the vet demanded.

"Well no, but it was obvious what'd happened!" the mechanic replied with a scowl.

Paddy turned to Ryan "You were there too. Do you think it was Jackson?"

The younger man's eyes widened as he was suddenly dragged into the conversation. "Oh no you don't! You ain't sticking me in the middle of all this! You two sort it out between yourselves!"

"So that's a no then." said Paddy smugly.

"He never said that!" Cain exclaimed angrily.

"Ee didn't 'ave to! If he thought that Jackson had done it he would've said! The truth is that none of us really knows what happened, only what we think happened, and I'm not willing to condemn someone based solely on your opinion! Especially someone you don't like!"

"Just as well the police aren't as gullible as you then isn't it?" Cain spat back, "They've still got the little toe rag banged up where he belongs! If he's innocent why haven't they let him go?"

"It's only been a few hours!"

Paddy turned to Chas "No matter what he says" he said with a nod of his head towards her brother "I don't think Jackson's capable of doing something like this. From the way he was this afternoon I'm sure he still cares about Aaron, there's just no way he would've attacked him."

"Well I wouldn't know would I?" Chas snapped "It's not like I know anything about him! Aaron never introduced us or told me anything! He could be a serial killer for all I know! Let the police deal with it, I've got better things to think about!"

With that she turned back to the nurse who had been standing nervously a little further down the corridor "Can you take me to see my son please?"

The two of them disappeared through the doors to the ICU leaving the three men standing awkwardly in silence.

"We should probably get on and see how he's doing." Paddy said to Cain "It's not like this is getting us anywhere."

"Yeah. Right." the mechanic answered moving off. "So… What did the doctors say? Is it really that bad?"

"They reckon maybe a thirty per cent chance that he'll survive the night." the vet replied quietly.

"Shit…" was the only response.

-x-x-

The nurse had asked that only a couple of people go into Aaron's room at once, and with the rest of the Dingle clan having turned up shortly after Cain and Ryan, everyone had been taking it in turns to visit the teenager. Chas and Paddy were currently in with him again, both of them still shocked at his appearance despite having already seen him a couple of times that evening.

Aaron was surrounded by machines, each one quietly whirring away or beeping softly to itself, keeping an electronic eye on their patient. Unlike the last time they'd been in this situation though, he wasn't hooked up to a ventilator. At first Paddy had been relieved, thinking that maybe the situation wasn't really as bad as the doctor had said and that she was just being overly cautious in her prognosis. Then he'd realised that what it really meant was that if Aaron were to slip away, it wouldn't be because his body had given out, it would be because his brain simply ceased to work and that there hadn't been a machine invented that could prevent it.

The top of the teenager's head was wrapped in bandages, the nurse explaining that they'd had to perform an emergency surgery to repair the damaged blood vessels in his skull and to drain the blood that had built up inside following the attack. His taped and splinted broken nose was visibly swollen, and both eyes had been blackened by the blow. Apart from the bruising his face was so very pale, and if it hadn't been for the slight rise and fall of his chest they might have been looking at a corpse.

"This shouldn't have happened Paddy." Chas whispered.

"I know. It's just not fair on the lad. After everything he's been through…" the vet started to reply quietly.

"No! I mean you shouldn't have let this happen!" the woman snapped back.

"Me? How was I supposed to stop it?" Paddy exclaimed.

"You should never have encouraged him to see that Jackson fella! If it weren't for 'im none of this would've happened!"

"This isn't Jackson's fault either! Nobody could've seen this coming! You certainly didn't did you?"

"How could I have? He doesn't talk to me Paddy! You're the one he comes to when he has a problem; you're the one that gives him advice! If you couldn't do it right why didn't you send him to me?"

"I shouldn't have to send him to his mother for advice! He should want to come to you of his own accord but he doesn't does he? And who's to blame for that eh? Certainly not me!"

"Oh so it's all my fault again is it? Just like last time it's all because of me? How dare you?"

-x-x-

Aaron was feeling happy. He couldn't remember the last time he'd ever felt this good. Admittedly he didn't seem to be able to remember anything much of anything, but he definitely got the impression that he'd never felt anything even close to this sense of peaceful bliss. Everything was perfect and he wanted it to go on forever, but it was then that he became aware that something was wrong. He could hear something. It sounded far, far away but seemed to be getting closer very quickly. He didn't want to hear things, he was fine floating in the silence, but it appeared that he didn't have any choice. Now he could make it out… Voices! He could hear voices. He couldn't really make out what was being said, and what he could make out he didn't understand. It was like they were speaking a foreign language but the tone, now that he could understand. Angry voices. Words and the feelings that went with them started to stand out and echo through the darkness… Fault… Blame… Pain… Hate… Sadness… A cold wind seemed to be blowing through his haven. He needed to get away from the voices, he didn't want to hear them or feel what they carried with them. The words were stirring up memories; dark unpleasant memories. He pushed them away and struggled away from the voices. Suddenly, ahead of him it felt like a great void had opened where before there had been only his warm, peaceful ocean. It scared him but somehow he knew that within lay the silence that he now so desperately craved. Reaching out he grabbed at it and pulled himself in.

-x-x-

Paddy and Chas were now practically screaming at each other. Every time there was a crisis involving the young man the two of them would always seem to end up at one another's throats and this time was no different.

They'd both momentarily paused for breath when one of the machines by the bedside suddenly started to bleep more insistently. Then another lit up with a flashing red light. In a matter of moments alarms were going off throughout the room as Aaron's body started to convulse on the bed.

Doctors and nurses swiftly flooded in and practically threw Chas and Paddy out of the door. The two of them could only watch helplessly through the window as hospital staff held down the thrashing teenager, poked and prodded him, shone lights in his eyes and injected him with various drugs, all the while shouting incomprehensible medical jargon at one another.

Chas stood with her hands clutching at her hair in distress "Oh my god Paddy" she whispered "That's our fault! What were we thinking fighting like that in there?"

The vet was unable to answer and just stood shaking his head as if trying to deny what his eyes were seeing through the glass. They were losing Aaron.


	9. Chapter 9

_Thanks for the reviews, I really appreciate them! :)_

**Chapter 9**

The nothingness was so cold that it burned; it tore at him like claws. Aaron knew that he'd made a mistake but it was too late, he didn't know the way back and, even if he had, he no longer had the strength to fight against the emptiness the was ripping him apart. He was on the verge of giving up when he felt it; a tiny trickle of warmth wrapping itself around him. The trickle grew into a stream tugging desperately at him. He tried to follow it but he just didn't seem have the will left to alter his own fate. He was helpless as the cold and the warmth fought over him, dragging him back and forth between them. Suddenly heat wash over him, and for a moment he felt safe as the familiar peaceful lull of the dark ocean surrounded him. But he could still feel the cold of the void gnawing at him. It hadn't given up; it was waiting for him. Already he could feel it drawing him back and he was too exhausted to do anything about it. He knew now that there was no escaping it; it was just a matter of time.

-x-x-

Doctor Cole emerged from Aaron's room looking tired. She moved over to where Paddy and Chas stood anxiously waiting for news.

"He had a seizure. We've managed to stabilise him but his brain functions and vitals are down. They may recover in the next few hours but I'm afraid it's not a good sign. I wish I could tell you more but all we can do now is wait and hope… I think maybe it would be best if he only had one visitor at a time from now on." she said looking pointedly between the two of them.

Paddy and Chas looked guiltily at one another. One of the nurses had obviously heard them fighting and had told the doctor.

"You go on in to see him." the vet said to Aaron's mother.

"I think he'd probably rather it were you in there than me." Chas replied.

"Chas you're his mum, nothing's ever going to change that. I'm sure he'd like it if you were there for him."

"Thanks Paddy." she said with a watery smile "I'm sorry for the things I said; I didn't mean any of them."

"I know. Me neither!"

With that Chas turned and walked slowly back into her son's room. Paddy watched through the window as she hesitated slightly by the bedside before reaching out to take Aaron's hand in her own, tears again streaming down her cheeks.

-x-x-

It had been a few hours since his seizure and Aaron's condition hadn't improved. If anything it was getting worse. He just seemed to be slipping away from them and there didn't seem to be anything that anyone could do.

Chas had been sitting with him for the past hour, holding his hand, running her fingers gently down his face, doing anything to try to maintain some connection with her son. She had been the same following Aaron's suicide attempt Paddy remembered. She'd been terrified of losing him before she'd had a chance to get to know him again, but following his assurances that he'd give her a chance she'd drifted away again. No doubt she'd expected to have plenty of time to build some bridges with the troubled young man, but now the chances of that seemed increasingly unlikely.

Paddy was watching Aaron through the window, standing in the spot he'd adopted for the times when someone else was in with the young man, when someone said "Psst!"

Startled, the vet had looked up to see a strange woman beckoning at him urgently from further down the corridor. When she saw that he'd noticed her she waved even more frantically before disappearing round a corner. Puzzled, Paddy threw a quick glance in at Aaron and Chas before moving to see what she wanted. Reaching the corner he found a small seating area containing a couple of chairs, a plastic plant, a small table with a few battered magazines and a very nervous looking middle aged lady draped in what appeared to be a poncho and several brightly coloured scarves.

"Are you Paddy Kirk?" she asked immediately.

"Err… Yes? Sorry, I don't think we've met…"

"We've not. I'm Hazel, Hazel Rhodes, Jackson's mum."

Paddy's eyes had opened wide with surprise at that. Glancing quickly up and down the corridor he'd hurried into the seating area out of sight of any prying Dingles who might turn up.

"I've just come from the police station." Hazel said "I take it Jackson was right when he said I might not be in for a particularly warm welcome?"

"Sorry… It's just the place is full of Aaron's family. I've tried telling them that there's no way Jackson could be responsible for what's happened, but Cain… Aaron's uncle I mean, has convinced em otherwise. The Dingles aren't exactly known for their sense of reason." Paddy replied apologetically.

Hazel gave him a warm smile at the confirmation that he didn't believe her son had attacked Aaron. "Jackson said that you're a decent bloke and that if anyone would listen it would be you."

Paddy swelled slightly, grinning broadly at the compliment "How's he doing? I thought that maybe he would've come to see how Aaron is by now."

"They've arrested him." Hazel replied, her face falling "Said they're going to hold him for the whole twenty four hours in case Aaron…" she left the sentence hanging "Urm… And how's Aaron doing?"

It was Paddy's turn to look downhearted "Not good at all. We almost lost him a while back. I think… I think that the doctors have given up on him." he could feel tears threatening to fall.

Hazel startled the vet by throwing her arms around him, but he soon hugged her back taking comfort in a warm embrace. And he could tell that she was also taking comfort from him, two strangers linked by their worry for sons in trouble.

Shortly the two parted, both feeling slightly embarrassed at their actions.

"Sorry, just thought you needed a hug!" Hazel spluttered.

"No no! It's fine! You too actually!" Paddy responded blushing.

At that they'd both laughed, the awkwardness melting away.

"Soooo…" the vet began "I don't mean to sound rude but I should really be getting back… What brings you to the hospital?"

"I know it's a lot to ask and I guess it might be impossible but… Well, Jackson gave me a message to give to Aaron. He's terrified that he won't get the chance."

"I was afraid you were going to say something like that." Paddy murmured "His mum's in with him at the moment and I don't think she'll be at all keen on the idea…"

"I understand. It would just mean so much to Jackson… He can't stand that he might not get to tell Aaron how he feels." Hazel sighed.

"How does he feel?" Paddy asked with raised eyebrows.

"He feels like an idiot for wasting time when the two of them could've been together."

"I knew it!" the vet exclaimed with a triumphant smile "Oh… I just wish he'd realised a couple of days ago." he continued, the smile fading.

"I should probably get back to the police station…" Hazel started to say.

"Wait! I'll see what I can do about Chas. Just stay here, if you see me walk past with a dark haired woman then take your chance, just don't take too long. It's the third room on the right."

With that Paddy hurried back up the corridor. Composing himself he pushed open the door to Aaron's room and placed a hand on Chas's shoulder. She looked up at him with a sad smile.

"Alright Paddy?" she asked.

"Yeah… You look a state. Why don't you come down to the canteen with me for a quick cuppa?" the vet replied.

"Nah… I'm okay here."

"Come on, some caffeine will do you good, keep you awake, you look like you might drop off at any moment."

Paddy felt slightly guilty at the look of worry that crossed Chas's face. He knew that she was thinking that she might fall asleep and miss Aaron waking up… Or worse.

"I suppose… We'll only be gone a couple of minutes?" she asked.

"Probably not even that." he reassured.

Chas allowed herself to be led out of the room and down the corridor towards the hospital café. Paddy looked straight ahead as they passed the little seating area, not daring to look at Hazel, but behind him he heard soft footsteps hurrying away from them.

-x-x-

Hazel looked down at the teenager lying unmoving on the bed, finally getting to see what all the fuss was about. He looked dreadful, but even so, through the bruises and the bandages she could tell he was a good looking boy. At least her Jackson had good taste when it came to appearances, she just wished that it extended to personality too. Maybe that was unfair though… As she stared at Aaron, each second possibly bringing him closer to the end, she remembered what Jackson had said. What if it were him lying there? How would she feel then? If it hadn't been for Aaron that could all too easily have been the case, and she couldn't help but feel a surge of gratitude towards the young man. It gave her the strength to say what she had to.

"Aaron? I've no idea if you can hear me love, but I hope that you can. I know you don't know me. My name's Hazel, I'm Jackson's mum. He wanted to tell you something but he couldn't come himself though he really, really wanted to. Jackson's in trouble and he doesn't know when he'll be able to get away so he asked me to come for him. I know it's not the same but it's the best we could come up with I'm afraid. He wants you to know that he's sorry for what he put you through after... After the trial. He really cares about you you know? And he's so worried about you; it breaks my heart to see it does. He feels like a complete fool for wasting time and pushing you away, he was just scared of getting hurt. He wants... He wants you to get well so that maybe the two of you can give it another go.

Now I've got something to say myself. My son's the most important thing in the world to me. More than anything I want him to be safe and I want him to be happy, but right now he's neither of those things. I know that if you wake up you'll be able to tell people what really happened and he'll be safe. I have my doubts about you making him happy but he seems to see something in you so I guess I can at least give you a chance to prove me wrong. So I don't care what the doctors say, you're just going to have to hurry up and get better and help my boy... Please Aaron... Jackson needs you..."

With that she turned and hurried from the room, worried that she'd taken too long and that any moment she might run into a member of Aaron's family. She'd just made it back to the seating area she'd been hiding in when Aaron's mother had rushed past, quickly followed by Paddy. She heard the door to the boy's room swing open and then the vet's voice had echoed quietly down the corridor.

"You see Chas, it's ok, he's still here. I'll leave you alone. I'll just be outside."

Hazel peered round the corner to see Paddy walking towards her. He threw a glance back over his shoulder before quickly side stepping into the alcove.

"Did you have enough time?" he asked anxiously.

"Yep, mission accomplished. I can't possibly thank you enough!"

"It's okay. I hope Jackson-" Paddy started to say when he was interrupted.

"PADDY!" Chas's voice echoed out down the corridor.

The vet almost jumped out of his skin at the shriek. Before he knew what he was doing he found himself running towards Aaron's room where Chas would stood in the doorway, tears spilling down her cheeks. Behind her the sound of the alarms was ringing out once more. Paddy pushed into the room as from the other end of the corridor the Dingle clan rushed from the waiting room at the sound of Chas's distress.

"Oh Paddy this is it! We're going to lose him! What are we going to do?"

Paddy was staring at the bed, his mouth hanging open in shock as Chas wept on his shoulder.

"Chas look!"

-x-x-

Aaron was so, so tired. Since being dragged back he hadn't been able to find the peace and tranquillity that had filled him before. The voices had returned, more distant but always there on the edge of hearing. They weren't angry anymore, instead they were filled with sadness which was worse in some ways. Again he hadn't been able to make out what the voices were saying, they were just there, a constant niggling distraction in the background. He wanted to get away from them but he was afraid of the void. It still clutched at him and he could feel himself slowly slipping away, powerless to resist.

He was on the verge of surrendering when he heard it. A single word had somehow made it clearly through to him… Jackson… He didn't know what it meant but he suddenly felt stronger than a moment ago. There it was again, whispering through the darkness like a warm breeze, making him shiver. More words now, as though that first had forged a path for others to follow…. Trouble… Sorry… Worried… Cares… Each rousing him more and more from his exhaustion. Jackson…in trouble…Jackson…sorry…Jackson…worried…Jackson cares about you… Jackson needs you… And then the voice was gone. But the echoes remained. As the words crashed around in the darkness, Aaron remembered.

Struggling now, all thoughts of surrender gone, he fought desperately against both the darkness and the sucking oblivion of the void. Clawing his way back to life Aaron opened his eyes.

Squinting painfully in the light he saw Paddy staring at him slack jawed, his mum crying, and peering through the room's window and clustered in the doorway his family and friends.

"Chas look!" the vet said.

His mother looked across at him, her red, tear-filled eyes widening as she saw him looking around.

"Aaron!" she gasped.

He ignored her, still scanning the faces peering at him, but he couldn't find the one he was looking for.

"Where's Jackson." he croaked.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"Where's Jackson?" Aaron repeated looking at the shocked faces round the room.

"He's in the nick where ee belongs!" Cain muttered from the doorway, the remark accompanied by a chorus of agreement from the rest of the Dingles.

The teenager frowned in confusion but before he could respond, Doctor Cole and a couple of nurses pushed their way into the room. Staring in surprise at Aaron sitting there awake and glaring back at them, they promptly kicked everyone else out saying that they needed to run some tests.

The group milled about outside, all trying to see around the edges of the now closed blinds in the window. Nobody knew what to think, feeling that they ought to be pleased that Aaron was awake and talking but worried that he might slip away again at any moment. They settled for anxiously chattering amongst themselves.

"What was he asking about Jackson for? You'd've thought that'd be the last person he'd be wanting to see wouldn't you?" asked Lisa.

"Weeell… Mehbe ee's got that amnesia what they're always getting on the tele?" answered Zak "Mehbe ee can't remember anything from the last couple of months or so, thinks they're still together or summat?"

"If he thinks that then ee wouldn't remember the court case and ee'd think that we don't know ee's gay so wouldn't be asking about Jackson now would ee?" Marlon reasoned.

"You don't think we're going to 'ave to go through all that comin' out palaver again do ya?" Zak frowned.

"I just _said_ that ee can't have forgotten about coming out if ee was asking for Jackson!" Marlon said rolling his eyes.

"Well that's a blessing at least." Lisa replied with a smile.

"He was probably scared that Jackson was around to beat 'im up again." Cain groused.

"I don't think so." Charity threw in "Sounded more like he wanted him to be here. You sure you saw what you say you saw?" she asked but received only a scowl for her trouble.

Paddy leant against the wall of the corridor starring at the ceiling as the nattering surrounded him. He didn't want to join in with pointless speculation; he wanted to _know_ if Aaron was going to be all right. Glancing down the corridor he saw Hazel's face peeking out from the little alcove she'd been hiding in. Looking around to make sure nobody was paying him any attention he snuck off to fill her in on the latest developments, knowing that she too had a vested interest in Aaron's condition.

"What's going on?" she asked anxiously as Paddy had darted round the corner "He's okay isn't he? What I said didn't… It didn't do any harm did it? I heard the alarms going off…"

Paddy offered a big smile "Quite the opposite I think! He's awake! The first thing he did was ask for Jackson. Think we might all owe a lot to your little chat!"

Hazel looked stunned at the news. She hadn't really believed the boy had been able to hear her or, that even if he could, that what she'd said would have any effect on him. But his waking up just a couple of minutes after she'd finished her speech seemed too much to be coincidence. And that he'd asked for Jackson? Well…

"Does he remember what happened?" she asked excitedly, hoping that she'd be able to return to the police station and let Jackson know that everything was going to be okay.

"The doctors threw us out before we could ask him anything. I'm sure they'll be done any minute though and I expect that'll probably be one of the first things that gets asked. Do you have a mobile? If you're wanting to get back to Jackson I could give you a call and let you know as soon as I find anything out?" Paddy replied.

"That would be great thanks, I probably should get going, can't hide out here all day now can I?" Hazel said fishing in her handbag "I've got the number written down somewhere, I can never remember the wretched thing. I tell ya, I'd forget me own head if it weren't screwed on so tight!"

Having taken down Hazel's contact details, Paddy made his way back to Aaron's room.

"Where've you been?" Chas demanded.

"Err… Just err… Just nipped to the loo." he answered.

"At a time like this?" the woman shot back looking at him like he was mad.

"Must be all the excitement." the vet replied desperately.

Chas rolled her eyes at him, but thankfully he was spared further interrogation by the doctor and nurses stepping out of Aaron's room. The nurses hurried off leaving Doctor Cole to deal with the young man's relatives and friends.

"Is he going to be okay?" Lisa asked before anyone else.

The doctor looked around the group "I wouldn't say he's completely out of the woods yet. Head wounds are so unpredictable. Having said that, he's currently in a stable condition and the fact that he's awake and lucid is tremendously promising indeed. I can only say that he's an extremely special and lucky young man! We've given him something for the pain, I'm afraid it's not very strong though. Given the circumstances, I don't want to risk anything that might knock him out. I think that it's made him rather… Grumpy shall we say?"

"Nah… That's what he's normally like." Ryan had muttered making everyone laugh.

"Well in that case I apologise that I won't be able to fix that!" Doctor Cole said with a smile "We'll be keeping a close eye on him for the next couple of days at least, but I'm hopeful that he'll make a full recovery given time. If you'd like to go in to see him you can. Only two or three at a time please. And please try not to get him too agitated or stressed, he needs to be kept as calm as possible."

Everyone had moved forward then, thanking the doctor, shaking her hand or patting her on the back and she'd hurried away blushing with a smile on her face.

Chas, Paddy and Cain were the first to go in to see Aaron. The young man was sitting up in the bed looking a lot less pale than he had done and a good deal more awake.

"What did you mean Jackson's in the nick?" he demanded as soon as he spotted his uncle.

Cain looked to Chas and Paddy but received no help. His sister stood there pouting, obviously annoyed that the first thing her son had said had nothing to do with her, and Paddy just gave him a small polite smile as though he knew that what Cain was going to say wasn't going to go down well.

"The police are just questioning 'im about what happened." the older mechanic said evasively.

"Actually, they're charging him for GBH." Paddy threw out.

"How d'you know that?" Chas demanded but the vet just shrugged as if the question wasn't important.

"Why would the police think that Jackson had anything to do with this?" Aaron growled at Paddy.

"I dunno… Cain? Why would the police think that Jackson had anything to do with it do you reckon?" the vet asked innocently.

If looks could kill, the scowl on Cain's face would have reduced Paddy to ash.

"I only told em what I saw. Not my fault if they think they've got enough evidence to charge 'im." he sniffed.

Chas gasped and smacked him on the arm "You've been telling everyone 'ere that it was definitely him what done it!" she said accusingly.

"Are you mental or what?" Aaron shouted at his uncle "Jackson'd never do anything like that! It was that muppet Wayne! After everything Jackson's done to help me this is the thanks ee gets from my family? No wonder he don't want nothing to do with me!"

The teenager threw back the bedclothes and started pulling at the tubes and wires that connected him to the machines around him.

"Oi! What do you think you're doing?" Paddy yelped rushing forward to stop Aaron getting up.

"What d'you think I'm doing? I'm going to the police station to get Jackson out!"

"Aaron love!" Chas said coming to help Paddy restrain her son "You need to stay in bed! You're not well!"

"Listen to your mum." the vet told the struggling young man "You've only just woken up, you can't go gallivanting off all over the place!"

"Why not? Jackson needs me!" Aaron replied angrily.

"I know he does. But you're ill. What happens if you make yourself worse and pass out? How're you going to help Jackson then?" Paddy reasoned calmly.

At that Aaron suddenly stopped fighting against them "I need to do something Paddy" he pleaded "We can't just leave him there; he must be scared stiff!"

Paddy smiled at his use of the word 'we', glad that the young man realised that he wasn't alone in all this.

"It'll be fine. You stay here and I'll go call the police station. They'll send someone over to take your statement and it'll all be over and done with before you know it."

"You listen to Paddy love" Chas said smiling thankfully at the vet "It's the best way. You need to stay here and rest. We'll make sure that Jackson's okay yeah?"

Aaron looked uncertainly between his mum and the man he considered to be his dad. Both of them were gazing at him with love and reassurance. His head was throbbing and he suddenly realised just how tired he was. Allowing himself to be lowered back onto the bed he let out a sigh.

"Thanks. I guess I'm not feeling all that great." he mumbled.

"Right!" Paddy said brightly moving towards the door "I'll go get the ball rolling."

"Is there anything I can do?" Cain asked sullenly.

"You," Chas said pointing a finger at her brother "Can go and tell everyone that you were wrong. If Jackson turns up here I don't want any trouble!"

Cain grimaced but slunk out of the room without comment.

"Thanks mum." Aaron murmured with his eyes closed and Chas felt a huge smile break out on her face.

-x-x-

Jackson sat hunched in his cell trying to find a comfortable position on the hard shelf that they laughingly referred to as a bed. It had been hours since anyone had been in to see him. He'd hoped to have heard from his mum by now. Surely she'd had more than enough time to get to the hospital and back? It couldn't take this long to either deliver a message or to find that there was no possible way to do it. Why hadn't she come back? Now he had something else to worry about besides Aaron and himself!

He looked up at the sound of a key rattling in the lock, and a second later the door had swung open to reveal Detective Inspector Blake. The older man was looking slightly nervous as he shuffled into the cell.

"Ah, Mr Walsh. How are you doing this evening?" he asked cheerily.

Jackson looked up at him in confusion. The last time they'd spoken the inspector had turned rude and hostile towards him; now he seemed to be doing his best to be friendly. He was no expert in these matters but the builder was fairly certain that to play good cop/bad cop you needed at least two people, otherwise the result was just disturbing cop.

"I'm fine thanks." he replied. "Oh, apart from being arrested and locked up for something I didn't do obviously." he added.

Blake almost winced at the response.

"Yes… About that… I'm here to let you know that we've dropped all the charges against you. You're free to go."

"Come again?" the builder asked, not sure that he'd heard correctly.

"Mr Livesy has made a full statement in support of your story, and in the light of that Mr Dobson has confessed to the assault. Therefore you can go." the inspector replied looking like he swallowed something unpleasant.

"Aaron's awake? Is he alright?" Jackson exclaimed jumping to his feet.

The fact that Jackson seemed more excited by the fact that Aaron was awake than about being released from jail was not lost on the detective. He suddenly felt guilty for how wrong he'd been about the young man.

"I shouldn't really do this but given the circumstances… I can have an officer drop you off at the hospital to see for yourself if you'd like?"

"Really? That would be amazing… Can I work the siren?" Jackson said excitedly.

Blake rolled his eyes. What was it with boys and sirens?

-x-x-

Hazel was pacing up and down in the reception area of Hotten police station. She'd still been in the taxi back from the hospital when Paddy had called her with the good news that Aaron remembered exactly who it was that had attacked him and would be making a statement to the police as soon as possible. Desperate to let Jackson know that he should be released shortly, and that Aaron was hopefully going to be fine, she'd rushed into the station and demanded to see him. That had been two hours ago. The desk sergeant said that it wasn't possible to see Jackson at that time and she'd received the same response each time she'd asked since. She'd demanded to know why but the reply was always the same politely dressed version of 'Because I say so, now go away.' It was incredibly frustrating!

"Mum?" a soft voice spoke behind her.

Hazel spun around to find Jackson standing just a few feet away. He looked pale and tired but that didn't matter; he was free! She rushed across and threw her arms around him feeling tears pricking her eyes.

"Oh my little man!" she exclaimed squeezing him tightly.

"Mum!" Jackson gasped in embarrassment. A number of people sat in the reception area were looking on smirking to themselves at the scene. "Calm down!"

"They've let you go right?" Hazel asked releasing her hold "Realised they made a stupid mistake have they?" she added loudly glaring at the desk sergeant who had fobbed her off earlier.

"Yes, yes. It's all sorted. Aaron made a statement clearing me. He's woken up!" he replied with a big smile.

"Yes I know! Paddy rang me on my way back here! I've been trying to get in to tell you for the past two hours but they wouldn't let me see you."

"Did you see Aaron? Is he alright?" Jackson asked nervously.

"He was still unconscious when I saw him, but he woke up just after I gave him your message. Paddy thinks that that's what brought him back!"

"I'm going to the hospital. I need to see him." the builder stated.

"Are you sure love? You look as worn out as I feel. Maybe you should go home and have a bit of a kip first?" his mother answered looking worried.

"No. I'm not going to waste any more time." Jackson replied with a determined look on his face.

_Thanks for all the reviews! They mean a lot and help me keep writing! :)_


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Jackson's resolve to talk to Aaron carried him all the way to the main doors of the hospital before evaporating. Whilst sat in his cell at the police station he'd been desperate to see the young mechanic, wanting to apologise for the way he'd behaved since the trial, but now that he was here he was afraid to face him.

He knew exactly what the problem was. When he'd decide to tell Aaron what he felt, the teenager had been in a coma, possibly never to wake up. Saying sorry to someone who was unconscious, asking them for another chance, was a very different prospect to saying it when they could actually answer. He would have to listen to Aaron telling him that he wasn't interested, see the look of disgust in his eyes. He'd rejected the younger man and now he was going to be rejected in return and he wasn't sure he was up to it.

The builder turned away planning on going home. He'd get some sleep like his mum had suggested, then tomorrow he could come back and talk to Aaron. Maybe.

"Jackson?" a voice said behind him.

Looking back over his shoulder he saw that Paddy had just wandered out of the building and was looking at him uncertainly.

"I thought it were you!" the vet exclaimed, his face breaking into a smile "They let you out then?"

"Yeah thank god!" Jackson replied turning round again "Thanks for all your help Paddy; I know you didn't have any reason to."

"Don't be daft! I knew you didn't 'ave owt to do with the attack!" the older man answered.

"Still, after everything that happened with Aaron… I wouldn't've blamed you if you'd told me mam to do one."

"I get the feeling that your mum's not one to take no for an answer!" Paddy laughed "Anyway, what happened with Aaron wasn't your fault. I'm more to blame if anything." he added in a more serious tone of voice.

Jackson's eyebrows jerked up at that "How d'you figure? It weren't you that decked me!"

"I wasn't saying that it were _all_ my fault! Aaron was well out of line but… Well… Ee's a lot more complicated than most people realise. Everything he's been through has left 'im…twisted up inside. He just reacts whenever he feels threatened, and what he sees as a threat might seem perfectly harmless to anyone else. I'm not trying to make excuses for him or anything; I just can't help thinking that if I'd given you some sort of warning about how scared he's been about everything…" Paddy sighed and rubbed his forehead "It's just… It's just it's like there's two Aarons – the one he pretends to be and the one he really is. The one's there to protect the other and does it without thinking… This is all coming out wrong! See, this is why I didn't say anything before! You're probably wanting to run a mile now…"

"Nah it's ok... It kinda makes sense." Jackson replied with a frown "I knew that there was more to him than the whole sulky teenager routine. When he lets some of his walls down he's a completely different person. I just never thought he'd react so violently to nothing at all!"

"That's what I mean though!" the vet said excitedly "To him, at the time it wasn't nothing, it was a huge great something! And again I know it's no excuse for what he did, but he was terrified and he just reacted. Later on, when he realised what he'd done he felt awful, don't think I've ever seen him so miserable and believe me, that's saying something!"

Jackson sighed. He really hadn't wanted to get into all this again, but in a way he was glad. Paddy knew Aaron a lot better than he did and even this short conversation had given him some valuable insight into the younger man. He already knew that he was willing to put in the work that would obviously be necessary to get through to Aaron, but now he was sure that he'd have an ally who'd be willing and able to help. If only he wasn't so exhausted right now…

"I should probably be getting home." he said running a hand over his tired face.

"You're not coming in?" Paddy asked, his face falling "I'm sorry, I should've kept me mouth shut…"

"I'm just a bit tired Paddy. I'll drop by tomorrow." Jackson replied.

The vet didn't look convinced. "But seeing as you're here, you could just come and say a quick hello couldn't you? He's been asking about you all afternoon."

"Really?" the builder asked perking up.

"Yeah! I've been trying to phone your mum so that I could give him some sort of an answer but she's not picking up. Now he's started telling me that I 'ave to go to the police station to find out what's going on! You should've seen him when ee found out you'd been arrested; me and Chas literally had to hold him down to stop him marching down there 'imself!"

Jackson couldn't help but smile. Maybe he had a chance with Aaron after all.

"I suppose I could just pop in for a minute."

-x-x-

"Paddy!" Aaron exclaimed as the vet came through the door "Have you heard anything about -" he broke off as Jackson peered at him around the vet's bulk.

"You've got a visitor!" Paddy beamed "Oh… I've forgotten that cup of coffee I wanted. Be back in a bit." and with that he scurried out of the room.

"Well that was smooth." Jackson grinned.

"Yeah, he's about as subtle as a brick." Aaron said with a roll of his eyes.

The two men looked shyly at each other, both nervously wondering what they were supposed to say next.

"You're looking well." Jackson said feebly.

Aaron let out a laugh "Think you need your eyes tested then mate, I look like crap!"

"Well half yer face is covered in bandages, that's a definite improvement." the builder replied with a smirk.

"Oh very funny. I'm sure there must be a hospital rule about being rude to patients ya know!"

"Aww… You going to set the nurses on me or something?"

"I wouldn't laugh about that if I were you; some of them are well scary." Aaron answered.

"Bless! I'm sure Paddy'll protect you from the nasty nurses if you ask him nicely!"

"You're kidding right? Some of them are bigger than he is! They'd chase him down and squash him like a bug!"

Jackson couldn't help but burst out laughing at the image of the vet being hunted through the hospital corridors by a pack of predatory nurses, and was rewarded with a cheeky grin from the mechanic. He felt his stomach flip at the sight. Even bruised and battered Aaron could take his breath away and he couldn't for the life of him figure out how he'd kept away this long.

"So… Is this just a flying visit or are you gonna sit down for a bit?" the teenager asked uncertainly.

Not needing to be asked twice, Jackson quickly dropped into one of the chairs that were pulled up next to the bed, wriggling about until he was as comfortable as possible on the hard plastic seat.

An awkward silence descended on the two men, each of them knowing that there were things that they wanted to say to the other but neither sure of how to begin.

Jackson watched as Aaron sat staring at his hands, fiddling with the edge of the blanket which covered him. He knew that he was going to have to start; they'd be here all night if he waited for the younger man to initiate a conversation. So, taking a deep breath he began with the most obvious topic he could think of.

"So how're you doing?" he asked.

Aaron glanced up for a second before returning his stare to his lap "Been better. Could be worse." he replied.

'Great' thought the builder, 'Way to carry a conversation.' This was going to be even harder than expected. He was trying to figure out what to say next when Aaron suddenly looked him in the eye, his gaze filled with anxiety.

"Why are you here Jackson?" the teenager asked.

Jackson hadn't been prepared for that. It was usually him that asked the questions and Aaron would then tip-toe around until he either felt comfortable enough to answer or managed to change the subject. He stared at the younger man not knowing what to say. There seemed to be so many reasons for being there that he didn't know where to start. Maybe this was how Aaron felt all the time, a head full of words but unable to speak for fear of saying the wrong ones.

-x-x-

Aaron was confused. Whilst he'd secretly hoped that Jackson would visit the hospital at some point, he hadn't really believed that he'd turn up, let alone so quickly after he must have been released from jail. As far as he knew, the builder wanted nothing to do with him, something that the older man had made perfectly clear every time he'd tried talking to him since the trial. Yet here he was by his bedside, laughing at some silly comment about nurses, asking him how he was doing. It made no sense!

There was no question that he was grateful Jackson was there - every second they spent not arguing or fighting felt like something that should be treasured, but that would make it all the more painful when he came to leave. And it was only a matter of time before that happened; after all, there was no reason why the builder would want to stay. Nothing had changed. The only difference now was that he was damaged outside as well as in. A blow to the head certainly wasn't going to sort out all his personality problems, no matter what happened in the movies.

Jackson had probably just come to see if he was okay. Jackson would probably bring his worst enemy grapes if he heard that they were under the weather. He was nice like that; it was just one of the many reasons why Aaron was attracted to him, the man practically shone with goodness. He just wished his head didn't hurt so much right now. He had trouble thinking around Jackson at the best of times… Well, that wasn't entirely accurate. He thought of plenty of things when he was around the builder, but usually it was stuff like how hot he thought Jackson was looking, or about how funny and smart he was, or about how his heart beat faster whenever the older man smiled at him. Basically he had trouble thinking of anything that wouldn't make him sound like an absolute pillock if he said it out loud. Now, with his head pounding and with Jackson sitting so close, trying to work out what was going on was like trying to herd cats through a waterfall. Just asking would probably be easier than figuring it out for himself like he normally would. He was just so worried about what the answer might be.

"Why are you here Jackson?" he blurted out before he could stop himself.

The builder froze at the question. Aaron was looking him directly in the eyes, and as the moment stretched out he could see panic growing there. Why hadn't he kept his mouth shut? They could've had a few minutes of pretending that everything was fine, pretending that he hadn't messed up, then Jackson would've left and he could pretend that the older man was going to come back. But no, he'd had to ask him what he was doing here. Now Jackson was desperately trying to think how best to tell him that he was only there to satisfy his conscience, then he could walk away and never look back, leaving Aaron alone without even the comfort of false hope. He couldn't bear to hear whatever kindly words the builder came up with; didn't want to have to nod and smile as he was dying inside. Better to skip to the end and spare Jackson the effort.

"It's okay, I understand… Thanks for coming to check on me and all but you don't have to stay or anything, I'm going to be fine." he said quietly, looking down.

There was a few seconds silence, then Aaron felt a warm hand rest gently on his forearm. He watched as Jackson's thumb began stroking backwards and forwards, feeling the work roughened surface rubbing lightly against his skin, goose bumps breaking out across his body the breath caught in his throat. This wasn't happening, couldn't possibly be happening. The last time the builder had touched him was that day in the Woolpack, and after the way he'd reacted to it Aaron had known that Jackson would never want to lay a hand on him ever again. Maybe he was still in a coma.

"Aaron?" the older man murmured softly.

Aaron knew then that he wasn't dreaming. There was no way that any dream could ever sound so kind and caring. He couldn't help but look up and was immediately caught in the warm gaze of chocolate brown eyes.

"I didn't come here just to check you were okay and then scarper. If I'd wanted to do that I could've just gone and asked Paddy… I wanted... No… I needed to see you." Jackson continued with a smile.

"Why though? I thought you hated me?" the teenager managed to squeeze out past the lump in his throat.

The builder sighed. "I never hated you Aaron. I was… I guess I was angry when you hit me, but more than that I was disappointed. Then afterwards I was scared –"

"I'm so, so sorry Jackson!" the mechanic interrupted sounding panicked "Please… You don't need to be afraid of me! I'll never do anything like that again I promise! I was such an idiot, I just didn't think…" he stopped as he saw the older man shaking his head.

"I'm not afraid of you Aaron. Yer not as scary as you like to think you are ya know!" the builder grinned "I was scared cos, despite everything, I still really liked you, still wanted you. My head was telling me to get as far away as possible as fast as possible, but my heart… Well that wanted the opposite! Guess you're not the only one who's messed up eh?"

Aaron listened in surprise. Jackson always seemed so together and sure of everything that he could hardly believe that underneath it all the older man might be as conflicted as himself. Then again he didn't know Jackson all that well he realised. Ever since he'd first felt the pressure building inside himself to come out, he'd been so wrapped up in his own problems that he'd hardly paused to consider those around him. He suddenly felt ashamed. He was so selfish… Yet another reason why he didn't deserve to have people like Paddy and Jackson in his life. Although he was still unsure as to whether he actually had Jackson in his life now or not.

"Yeah anyway" the builder continued "The main reason I'm here is to say that I'm sorry."

"Ya what?" Aaron exclaimed, thoroughly bewildered now "What you got to apologise for?"

"For how I acted after the court case. I shouldn't've cut you out the way that I did."

"Why not? It's not like I didn't deserve it."

"You deserved at least an explanation! I didn't have to ignore you. I knew that you'd be confused and hurt by it but I did it anyway. I ran away from the problem."

The teenager laughed "You're talking to the master of running away you know?"

"Yeah… And did it ever solve any of your problems?" Jackson asked.

Aaron couldn't think of anything to say to that. The older man was right, the best that running had ever achieved was to avoid something for a little while, but it always caught up with you, and by then whatever it was was usually ten times worse.

"See? Like I said, I shouldn't've done it. At the time though… I just couldn't face seeing you. Me mam and me mates were all telling me to keep away from you and I was telling myself the same thing… But when I saw you in the dock… I knew if I stuck around I'd never be able to leave. So I ran. Then when I did see you again I just pushed you away even though I knew by then that I didn't want to. I was an idiot and I'm sorry. Is it too late for me to stop running? You think there's any chance that we could maybe give it another go?"

Aaron's smile was like the sun coming out from behind a cloud, even though there were tears glistening in his eyes "You really are an idiot if you even have to ask that!"

"Erm… Is that a yes or a no?" the builder asked uncertainly.

"Of course it's a yes you div!" the teenager laughed.

Aaron couldn't help but feel that the grin that spread across Jackson's face at those words was worth all the trouble and pain of the past few months.

_Feel free to comment guys, and thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far :)_


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Jackson had gotten a lot done on Declan's cottage in the past week, probably because with Aaron in the hospital there hadn't been any temptation to stare out of the window overlooking the garage he thought to himself with a smile. He'd been to visit the teenager every evening following that first discussion and things seemed to be going better than he could ever have hoped for.

The tension between them had quickly faded away, the awkward silences replaced by almost constant chatter and laughter when they were together. They didn't talk about anything much in particular, neither of them really feeling that the hospital room was the place for another deep and meaningful; it was just a couple of mates talking crap about whatever came to mind. Admittedly he did a lot of the talking and Aaron most of the laughing but that was just how it was; the teenager was probably always going to be the strong silent type. Besides, Jackson knew that he was capable of doing more than enough nattering for the both of them, plus it gave him a secret thrill that he could get Aaron to open up and laugh when the best most people could hope for was not to get scowled at.

The nurses had noticed something similar. As he was leaving the hospital the night before, one of them had mentioned to the builder how shocked she'd been on walking in on them to find Aaron wearing a huge grin and sniggering at something Jackson had just been telling him. For a moment she'd thought that she'd got the wrong room so complete was the change in her patient. Jackson had been concerned that the teenager was being rude to the staff, but the nurse had hastened to reassure him that Aaron was always polite, even if he wasn't exactly a ray of sunshine. It was his interactions with some of his other visitors that were so markedly different. Paddy, Adam and Ryan were received relatively well but pretty much anyone else somehow managed to evoke only hostility and suspicion. Staff had learnt to avoid the room whenever Aaron had visitors and she'd thought that she'd drawn the short straw when the time had come to check on him that evening.

Jackson was pleased that he seemed to have such a positive influence on the younger man, but the fact that it obviously only lasted as long as he was there made him uneasy. He'd hoped that Aaron would maybe start to lighten up a bit now that his most closely guarded secret was common knowledge, but apparently that wasn't happening. The teenager was due home later that day and the builder was worried what effect being thrown back into village life was going to have on him. Would the easygoing friendship they had started continue, or would it be swallowed up by the tension and secretiveness that had marked their interactions prior to the incident in the pub? He hated the thought of going back to how things had been, especially after the extended displays of how sweet and entertaining Aaron could be compared to the small glimpses he'd been granted previously. Time would tell he supposed; he'd just have to keep his fingers crossed and hope for the best.

Checking his watch Jackson decided that an early lunch was in order. He was absolutely starving. With a sinking feeling though, he realised that he'd left his sandwiches in the fridge at home and that he was going to have to go to either the Woolpack or the café, both of which he'd taken to avoiding over the last few days.

You heard stories of what villages are like – people being nosey, rampant gossiping, everyone knowing everyone else's business - and having grown up in a town Jackson had always taken it with a pinch of salt assuming that it was all an exaggeration. Until he found he was a key player in Emmerdale's latest scandal that is.

As soon as he'd returned to work people he never even remembered seeing before started popping by. Usually they would appear in pairs, say a polite good morning before hurrying away whispering together and peering back at him over their shoulders. The pub and café were even worse. Everyone would stop talking the moment he walked in, then conversations would resume more quietly with many a sideways glance in his direction. At first it had been amusing but it quickly became unsettling. If Aaron hadn't assured him that his family, and therefore by now probably most of Yorkshire, knew that it hadn't been Jackson who carried out the attack, he would have been worried that the residents were planning to lynch him on the village green. It made him so uncomfortable that he'd started bringing his lunch with him to work.

He remembered being less than impressed when Aaron had been so concerned with how people would react when they found out that he was gay. Now he realised that when you're on the outside looking in it's very easy to say to someone that they shouldn't care what other people think, but when you're the one that everyone's staring at and talking about behind your back it's a different story.

As soon as it had happened to him he'd allowed the villager's talk to get to him, and he'd only turned out to be an innocent bystander in the drama! He could hardly imagine how mortifying it would be for someone as private and self conscious about being gay as Aaron to know that he was the prime topic of conversation for pretty much everyone around him.

He felt a pang of guilt at how he'd failed to really appreciate the teenager's worries and had therefore simply dismissed them. Yes, the rumourmongers were bound to move on to other things but that wouldn't be much consolation at the time, especially if you knew that you'd be targeted again soon enough. Being seen with another man, getting a boyfriend, holding hands, kissing and, given the uncanny ability of the people round here to find out absolutely everything that went on, even having sex would more than likely spark a new wave of gossip that would keep you in the limelight for who knew how long. It would be all too easy to let it get to you.

He would just have to practice what he preached and get on with it. What sort of example would it set if Aaron were to find out that he'd taken to cowering in Dale Head with his packed lunch? Jackson took a deep breath and strode off up the road. He was going to the pub for lunch and nobody was going to stop him. Unless the scary woman with the little dog was in there, then he might go to the café instead…

-x-x-

Aaron stared morosely out of the window at the fields flashing by. Twenty minutes ago as he'd climbed into Paddy's car he'd been so happy to be out of the hospital, free from the constant poking and prodding of the doctors, free of the enforced bed rest and free of the overwhelming smell of disinfectant and sick people. He could've danced for joy if nobody had been watching. But now, with every mile they travelled he could feel a familiar anxiety building inside. He didn't want to go back to Emmerdale.

Everyone would know what had happened by now, once more he'd be the main topic of conversation for the entire village. He could just imagine them all watching him wherever he went, whispering to one another, pointing. It had been like that after his suicide attempt, people stopping in the street to be 'nice' and looking at him sadly when before they'd had nothing but contempt for him in their eyes. Then after his court case it had been the same; silence when he walked into the Woolie, everybody staring at the queer as he walked down the road. He hated it. Why couldn't they just concentrate on their own problems instead of sticking their noses into other people's business?

Now that he thought back on it though, possibly the saddest thing was that the past week in the hospital had been one of the best ever. Yes he'd felt pretty awful for most of it. Yes he'd had to put up with an endless stream of doctors and nurses coming at him with a barrage of medical instruments. And yes he'd been cornered whenever his mother had come by for one of her little chats as she liked to call the thinly veiled attempts at telling him what to do. But despite everything he'd woken up every morning looking forward to the day, or more specifically, looking forward to the part of the day when Jackson came to visit.

Like a couple of Lego bricks the two of them finally seemed to have clicked. After this last week Aaron felt like Jackson was a proper mate, almost as good a friend as Adam who he'd known a hell of a lot longer. Unlike Adam though, Jackson was someone that Aaron wanted as more than just a friend. It was actually a little unnerving how attracted he'd become to the older man, but unnerving in a good way... Kind of scary but exciting along with it.

It was different from their first aborted attempt at some sort of relationship, things now seemed more comfortable between them. Then, Aaron had still been confused and the builder had felt more like a nice guy who he happened to think was hot; this time he was out and there was no going back and Jackson was more to him than just some charming, good looking bloke, he had turned into one of his best friends. A best friend with gorgeous deep brown eyes and a smile that could make your knees go weak. Just thinking about him was making Aaron's heart pound in his chest. 'God! I'm turning into a right girl!' he thought, but he couldn't help noticing that as soon as he'd remembered that Jackson would be there, going back to Emmerdale didn't seem quite so daunting as it had done a few minutes before.

"Nearly there!" Paddy said brightly, interrupting his thoughts "Bet you'll be glad to get home!"

Aaron pulled a face at the vet.

"Or maybe not... Just figured you'd be pleased to get out of that nice tidy hospital and back to that pit you call a bedroom is all." the older man teased, this time receiving a roll of the teenager's eyes in response.

"Ya know, I do so treasure these little conversations we have. When I'm old and grey I'm sure I'll look back on them and feel all warm and fuzzy inside."

Despite his best efforts Aaron failed to stop a smirk crossing his face at that remark.

"Ah ha!" Paddy crowed in triumph "That was a smile! I definitely saw a smile there! Look! I can see the cracks round the corners of your mouth and everything!"

"Oh shut yer face." Aaron replied trying to sound annoyed but unable to hide the amusement in his voice.

Sensing a lightening of the mood that had descended on his passenger as they made their way home, the vet decided to go for broke and see if he could get a full on smile. Over the past few days he thought that he might have found a foolproof way of cheering Aaron up and he was dying to put his theory to the test.

"I saw Jackson this morning." he began casually, watching the younger man out of the corner of one eye. As he expected, Aaron seemed to perk up slightly at the mention of the builder's name.

"Oh yeah?" the younger man answered, also trying to sound casual but not quite pulling it off.

"Yep. He were on 'is way to work but we had a bit of a chat. Seems like the cottage is getting along well."

"Oh right." Aaron said folding his arms as he slouched down in his seat looking disappointed.

"I reckon he's looking forward to having you back home." the vet continued.

"Ya what?" the teenager blurted, his head snapping round.

"Well he looked pretty excited when I said I was coming to pick you up. Just as well ee's got so much done on Dale Head really, he'll probably be sneaking off work every five minutes to come see you!"

"Don't be soft!" Aaron snorted, but the sneer that he was pulling at Paddy kept trying to turn into a grin and he quickly went back to looking out the window. He obviously didn't realise that the vet could see the big smile on his face reflected clearly in the glass.

'Mission accomplished!' Paddy thought smugly to himself as the 4 by 4 turned the final bend into Emmerdale.

-x-x-

Jackson left the pub feeling much better than when he'd arrived. As expected, silence had descended as he walked in but he'd resolutely made his way to the bar and ordered himself a pie and a pint before finding a table to sit at. He'd then proceeded to wave cheerily at anyone he caught staring at him, flustering a lot of people into hurriedly turning back to their own meals. After that nobody seemed to want to look his way and he finally got to have his lunch in peace before heading back to work.

He was just about to cross over the road to the cottage when a large black car drove past with a beep of its horn. The builder caught sight of a familiar face grinning at him through the passenger side window and he couldn't help but smile back widely as Aaron and Paddy disappeared round the corner. He looked across at Dale Head and decided that there was something other than work that he'd much rather be doing just now, and with that he spun on a heel and set off up the hill.

As he approached Smithy Cottage he could see Paddy's car sat in the driveway. The passenger door was open and raised voices could be heard coming from inside the vehicle.

"Come off it Paddy! I'm fine! It's not like I'm off to run a marathon or anything!"

Jackson couldn't help but smile; he'd only been back thirty seconds and Aaron was already having a strop!

"The doctor said that you have to take it easy! That means you get inside now and put your feet up! It does not mean that you go wandering around the village! You'll just end up in the pub and you know you're not supposed to drink with those pain killers you're on!" Paddy responded crossly.

"I weren't going to the pub!" Aaron exclaimed.

"Oh aye? Then where..." the vet started to say but trailed off as, over Aaron's shoulder, he saw Jackson peering through the open door at the two of them arguing.

"If you must know I were gunna go see Jackson." the teenager muttered sulkily.

"Oh... Well in that case you're definitely not going anywhere!" Paddy said trying to keep a straight face, looking forward to revealing that the builder had saved the teenager a walk.

"Why not?" Aaron practically exploded "You're the one who's always going on about how great Jackson is, and now I'm wanting to see him you're saying that I can't? What's the problem? You think ee's too good for me or something? Don't you think I already know that? Do ya really think that I don't know how lucky I am that someone like him actually seems to like someone as completely messed up as me? Well I like him too and if you think you can stop me seeing 'im you can think again!"

"Err... Actually I urm... Well I meant err... I just meant it'd be a wasted trip." the vet spluttered with a nod towards the open door. This was not what he'd planned at all.

Aaron spun round in his seat to be confronted with Jackson standing there grinning like a fool. The builder watched as the young man's eyes practically popped out of his head as his face turned the colour of a beetroot.

"All right mate? Glad to be home?" he asked brightly.

"PADDY!" Aaron yelled spinning back towards the driver's side only to be greeted by a slamming car door and a view of the vet's back hurrying into the surgery.

Jackson waited patiently for the younger man to turn and face him. He knew Aaron would be feeling horribly embarrassed by what he'd said to Paddy being overheard, just as he knew that if he let him, the teenager would disappear inside the house and probably go to great lengths to avoid him for god only knows how long. He wasn't going to let that happen, not when he was suddenly feeling happier than he could ever remember. He was quite prepared to stand there all day if that's what it took.

After a couple of minutes of staring at Aaron's unmoving back though, he found that he couldn't wait any longer. He was beginning to worry that if he gave him too much time the teenager would convince himself that he hadn't meant what he'd said and then they'd end up back where they started, all awkwardness and uncomfortable silence. Reaching out he gently rested a hand on the younger man's shoulder, feeling the muscles tense momentarily at his touch before thankfully relaxing slightly.

"Aaron?" he murmured softly.

The mechanic didn't respond in anyway; Jackson may as well have been talking to a statue. Slowly he moved his hand so that he could gently stroke the back of Aaron's neck, remembering how effective a similar gesture had been in getting the young man to open up to him in the hospital. He heard a slight gasp and felt the body beneath his hand shiver as he lightly ran his thumb across the warm skin.

"Aaron. Talk to me. Please?" he whispered.

There was a quick jerk of movement and Jackson found himself staring into vulnerable blue eyes. Aaron looked like he was about to burst into tears at any moment.

"Hey... Relax, it's okay." the builder said in a reassuring tone, his hand maintaining it's soothing motion on the teenager's neck "What's wrong?"

"I'm such an idiot!" Aaron choked out "I never should've said that stuff."

Jackson felt his heart drop "You didn't mean it then?" he asked trying to hide his disappointment.

"I... I didn't know you were there. If I had..." Aaron trailed off.

"Yeah I know, you wouldn't've said anything... But... But is that cos you didn't mean it or cos you didn't want me to know?" Jackson asked hesitantly. He wouldn't normally have pushed but he desperately needed to hear the answer now. The tortured look in the teenagers eyes made him regret the question and he was just about to back off when he unexpectedly received an response.

"I..." Aaron whispered "I meant it. Everything... Please don't leave!" the last words burst out sounding panicked.

"Why would I leave?" Jackson asked incredulously. He'd just had pretty much the best news ever, there was no way he was going anywhere!

"Everyone leaves..." the teenager answered looking away.

The builder realised that he'd stumbled unknowingly on another of Aaron's insecurities and was again reminded how little he knew of the younger man's past and how it affected who he was now. Something else to be added to the list of things they'd have to work through. Still, if he had any say in the matter they _would_ work through it, and they'd do it together.

"Aaron... What you said to Paddy? Well, I feel the same way. So the only way that I'm going to leave is if you ask me to. And just for the record, I don't _seem_ to like you, I _do_ like you. A lot!"

Aaron was looking at him again now, his eyes wide, and Jackson could see a glimmer of hope in their blue depths. He felt himself leaning forward ever so slowly, giving the younger man the chance to pull away if he wanted. Instead the mechanic's eyelids fluttered closed in anticipation of what was to come. Jackson could feel warm breath blowing feather-light across his lips he was so close to Aaron now. His own eyes drifted shut and he tilted his head slightly, his heart was pounding like a drum and he could hear the blood rushing in his ears as he made to close the last tiny gap between them...

"COOEE! Aaron are you out here love? Paddy said you were back, I've baked you a cake! Victoria sponge, I know how much you like it!" Pearl's voice rang out from the surgery door.

Jackson felt Aaron jerk away from him and before he knew what was happening the teenager had pushed past him, jumped out of the car and fled across the lawn into Smithy Cottage, the door slamming behind him.

"Oh I say!" Pearl exclaimed coming down the driveway "Should he be rushing around like that in his condition?"

The builder sighed. Why did things always have to be so difficult?


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Aaron threw himself against the door, letting the solid wood support him. He wasn't sure that his legs would hold him up just now. Anxiety was rising inside him; it had been weeks since he'd last had a panic attack but now he felt like he was teetering on the edge. He tried desperately to control his breathing like Paddy had shown him, attempting to stop himself from hyperventilating before he could really start. 'Calm down, calm down, calm down, calm down.' he repeated over and over in his mind. Staggering into the living room he leant heavily on the back of the sofa taking deep measured breaths.

What the hell had just happened? One second Jackson had been about to kiss him and then... It would've been their first proper kiss. Unlike the quick, unexpected brush of lips that night outside Bar West, he knew this would've been the real thing. From the look in his eyes he could tell that Jackson wanted it, and he knew that he wanted it just as much. Wanted it more than anything. God how he'd longed for Jackson to kiss him! He'd thought about it so often, he even dreamt about it... What it would be like to have his lips brushing against his own, feel the scratch of his beard on his skin, to have his tongue demanding entry to his mouth, allowing him in, giving himself up to the older man.

Aaron groaned into the sofa cushion. The moment had been so perfect! Jackson had overheard how he felt about him, something that he could never have told the builder to his face for fear of being rejected. Fear of being laughed at... Fear of being abandoned. But none of that had happened! Jackson felt the same way. It was unbelievable! He had no idea how someone like Jackson could possibly want to have anything to do with him; but when he'd heard the words whilst looking into those warm, chocolate brown eyes, he could tell that they were true. He knew that Jackson would never lie about something like that. And then... Then it had finally been about to happen!

The teenager threw his hands up in frustration and started pacing about the room. The memory of it made him ache. The thought of Jackson so close to kissing him only to be denied... Pearl! It was all Pearl's fault! His teeth were grinding in annoyance at the interfering old woman, his fists clenching as he remembered hearing her voice intruding on the moment, ruining everything. If it hadn't been for her he wouldn't... He wouldn't... He... Aaron sagged suddenly into a chair, staring off into the distance. If it hadn't been for Pearl he wouldn't have freaked out... This wasn't her fault at all, it was his. He'd done it again. The minute there might be a chance of anyone seeing him and Jackson 'together', he pushed the older man away and ran. He messed up over and over and then blamed it on someone else.

Pearl wasn't any more to blame for this situation than Jackson had been for him ending up in court. He put his head in his hands, feeling like he might cry yet again. He seemed to spend half his time crying these days! Maybe that was a good sign though... At least he felt something and at least this time he'd realised relatively quickly that he was the one in the wrong. It didn't help much though seeing as he had no idea how to fix it. Jackson was probably long gone by now. But maybe he should go and check, just in case. If there was any chance to put things right he had to try, somehow he'd got to the point where he couldn't imagine being without the builder. All he needed was to figure out how to do it. 'Yeah right, no problem.' he snorted to himself.

Getting to his feet Aaron made his way back to the door. Taking a deep breath he pressed the catch and stepped outside.

-x-x-

Jackson was trapped in a conversation with Pearl. The elderly woman had pounced on him, taking advantage of his bewilderment following Aaron's unexpected departure to avoid going back into the surgery. Normally he wouldn't have minded, he actually found her chatter rather relaxing, it reminded him of his mum, but right now he just wanted a few moments to himself.

He didn't know what to do. Should he go after the younger man or should he just go back to work, hope that things would work themselves out? He knew perfectly well why Aaron had run off. He shouldn't have tried to kiss him, not out here where anyone could see, but the moment had just been so right, and he'd wanted to do it for what felt like forever now! For a moment the teenager hadn't seemed to care, seemed to have forgotten his fears. If only Pearl had waited a few moments more before popping outside! Oh well, too late now, what was done was done and Aaron was gone, probably to hide for the next few days or so.

"Oh there you are love! How are you feeling?" Pearl suddenly exclaimed mid conversation.

Jackson realised that he hadn't been paying attention to anything for the past minute or so, not that that seemed to have troubled Pearl in any way apparently. His head snapped round to look at what the older lady had noticed and to his surprise saw Aaron standing on the doorstep looking at him sheepishly.

"Err... I'm okay thanks Pearl." he said nervously, moving slowly across the grass before stopping a few feet away.

"Well that is good news! We've all been terribly worried! Poor Paddy's been beside himself, I didn't know what to do with him -"

"Sorry about this." Aaron interrupted.

Whether he was talking to her or to him Jackson didn't get a chance to ask. The younger man was suddenly in front of him, one hand reaching up to cup the back of his head, pulling him forwards, the other resting lightly on his hip. Before he knew what was happening Aaron was kissing him.

For a couple of seconds all he could do was stand frozen in shock, but whilst his mind might be happy to hang around trying to figure out what the hell was happening, his body obviously had other ideas. He felt his arms wrap themselves around the mechanic, pulling him in close whilst his lips began to move with those pressed against them. It was then that his brain finally decided that it had had enough of trying to think and just ran with enjoying the feel of what was going on. The last thing he registered as the rest of the world faded away, was Pearl's exclamation of "Oh My!" before the only thing that seemed to exist was Aaron.

His lips were so soft. He hadn't expected that. The teenager nearly always projected such a cold, hard persona that for some reason Jackson had imagined that he would kiss in the same way, but this was anything but cold. Aaron's mouth slid softly but firmly against his own, and every so often he'd pause and Jackson would feel teeth nipping gently at his lower lip causing goose bumps to breakout up and down his spine. One of the mechanics hands was running through his hair, fingers brushing lightly across the sensitive skin of his neck; the other had somehow worked it's way under his jacket and t-shirt and was now stroking his lower back. Jackson couldn't remember ever feeling so turned on, it was as though electricity was flowing into his body wherever it touched Aaron's. He thought that he could feel the younger man's heart thundering against his chest, though it was possible that it was his own, it was definitely beating fast enough!

He tightened his arms around the teenager, desperate to feel as close to him as possible, which caused Aaron to gasp. Taking the opportunity, Jackson pushed his tongue into the younger man's mouth, running it over it's counterpart which pushed back against it, fighting for dominance. He couldn't tell if the groan that reverberated through his body came from Aaron or from himself, and quite frankly he didn't care, all he wanted was for this moment to last forever. Unfortunately the demand for a lungful of oxygen broke their lips apart a few seconds later and they stood gasping for breath with their foreheads resting together.

The younger man was practically hanging off him which he wasn't sure was such a good idea as it felt like all his bones had turned to water. Jackson was forced to pull back slightly or risk them both ending up collapsing to the ground. Opening his eyes he found himself looking at possibly the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. Aaron was smiling, parted lips reddened and a little swollen from their kiss. His face was flushed, sapphire blue eyes heavy lidded and looking slightly dazed. The tension that normally radiated off him was gone leaving him looking so young and relaxed that it made an almost painful contrast to his usual demeanour. If everyone could see him like this they would understand what it was that Jackson saw in him. With his defences down Aaron practically glowed.

"Wow!" was the only word the builder could think of to say at that moment.

-x-x-

As soon as got through the door he saw him. Jackson was still here! Unfortunately he seemed to be talking to Pearl. Or, judging by the glazed look on his face Pearl was talking at him. Aaron wasn't sure what to do now; he hadn't expected the builder to have stuck around and had been hoping to come up with a plan on the walk down to Dale Head. He certainly hadn't counted on a third person being around, it would be hard enough talking to just Jackson.

"Oh there you are love! How are you feeling?" Pearl called out as she noticed him standing there. Apparently he wasn't going to get any more time to sort himself out.

Jackson was looking at him now. He didn't appear to be terribly happy to see him, just surprised and a bit curious which was fair enough really Aaron thought, given his track record of either lashing out or hiding himself away at the first sign of trouble. The older man was probably trying to figure out whether he had another punch to look forward to. The mechanic tried to smile reassuringly but he thought it probably didn't really work, he was much too nervous.

Much as he felt like dashing back inside the house he knew that he had to make a move so he forced himself to walk towards the pair in the driveway.

"Err... I'm okay thanks Pearl." he answered the woman as he got a bit nearer. He hoped he didn't sound like too much of an idiot.

He was still watching Jackson, unable to tear his eyes away from him. Now he was closer he could see that the builder didn't look annoyed or angry, if anything he looked concerned and a little bit worried for him. Aaron's heart swelled for the older man as all the feelings that had fled when Pearl interrupted them earlier came flooding back. He felt light-headed at the rush of desire that coursed through his body and suddenly he knew how to show Jackson how much he wanted him.

"Sorry about this." he interrupted whatever it was that Pearl was going on about, half apologising to her for what he was about to do and half to Jackson for what he'd already done. He couldn't wait any longer, if he did he might chicken out. Quickly crossing the few feet that separated them, Aaron reached out and pulling Jackson forward kissed him full on the lips in front of anyone who might care to watch.

It was like kissing a rock. The older man stood stiff as a board, lips immobile and clamped firmly shut. Aaron started to panic. He'd made a huge mistake! Jackson didn't want him! And it was all happening in front of Pearl, one of Emmerdale's chief busy-bodies! Oh God! This was going to go down as the most embarrassing event to take place in the history of the world, ever! This was terrible! This was... This was... Oh yeah this was nice! Jackson had wrapped his arms around him and was kissing him back!

Every thought in his head went flying off into nowhere and all he could do was hang on and feel. From the top of his head to the tips of his toes it was like his body was on fire, he wouldn't have been surprised if his clothes had started smoking. Jackson's mouth was moving against his own, his stubble prickling his chin and lips. It was like nothing he'd experienced before, certainly nothing like the times he'd kissed girls. Where they'd been all soft and giving, this was hard and demanding, but at the same time almost unbearably gentle. He'd never felt anything so good in his entire life. Any doubts he may have had about being gay were blasted away leaving him feeling utterly exposed. He should have been terrified at how vulnerable the full realisation of the truth left him, but here in Jackson's arms he felt safe and protected.

Those same arms now drew him even tighter against the builder's firm body making him gasp with excitement. As his lips parted he felt Jackson's tongue enter him and roll against his own. Tasting the older man inside his mouth was too much and he couldn't suppress moaning with desire. Kissing Jackson was everything he'd ever dreamed of and more and he wished he never had to stop. All too soon though he could feel the burning in his lungs as they began to insist that they really needed air and he had to pull away breathlessly.

The warm cocoon that had enveloped him started to recede and the world slowly came back into focus. Somewhere along the way it appeared that his knees had given out and Jackson was pretty much having to hold him up. It should've been embarrassing but he was on too much of a high to care at the moment, worrying about things would take way too much energy and effort. About the only thing he could manage to do right now was to smile rather muzzily at the older man who stood there beaming at him.

"Wow!" Jackson said. He was obviously a mind reader Aaron decided.

-x-x-

The two men stood looking shyly at one another for a minute or two before Jackson decided that one of them really needed to say something. Worrying that he might regret it but unable to contain himself any longer he took the plunge.

"Urr… You do know where we are don't you?" he asked.

Aaron's brow furrowed as he looked around, taking in the fact that he'd just kissed another man in plain view of the whole village. "Oh… Erm… Yeah." he replied, looking at his shoes as his face turned pink "Just wanted you to know… Well… You know?"

The builder breathed a sigh of relief. Apparently another freak out wasn't looming on the horizon. "Yeah I know." he reassured knowing how hard it was for the teenager to express his emotions "And thank you." he added receiving a grin of gratitude in return.

Aaron's face suddenly clouded over in puzzlement "Wasn't Pearl here a second ago?" he asked looking about.

"She's probably had to go for a lie down!" Jackson sniggered "Could do with one meself after that!" he said with a wink at the younger man.

The mechanic blushed again and started kicking nervously at a dandelion that was pushing its way up through the driveway.

"Would you… Urr… Would you like to come in for a coffee or something?"

"Coffee?" the older man queried "Or _coffee_?" he continued with a waggle of his eyebrows and a cheeky smirk.

Aaron gaped at him turning scarlet.

"As in the drink!" he exclaimed smacking the builder on the arm.

Jackson couldn't help but burst out laughing. "I know, I know! I was just pulling your leg mate! You should see your face!"

"Very funny!" the teenager scowled "Just for that I ain't gunna make you one."

Jackson wiped his watering eyes on the cuff of his jacket trying to calm himself down a bit "Sorry! Couldn't resist!" he apologised.

Aaron looked like he was trying very hard not to smile as he rolled his eyes.

"So you coming in or what?"

Glancing at his watch the builder grimaced at the time.

"I should probably be getting back to work really." he answered regretfully.

"Oh..." the teenager replied in a small voice, the frown on his face being instantly replaced by a look of disappointment that Jackson just couldn't resist.

"Weeeell... I guess just a quick cuppa wouldn't hurt."

"Cool." Aaron said with a grin that quickly turned into a smirk. Turning around he headed towards the house, Jackson following looking suspiciously at him. "But like I said" he threw over his shoulder "I ain't making it for ya. I'll have mine with milk and two sugars please!"

"Oi! What did your last slave die of?" the builder laughed.

"Not doing what they were told!" the mechanic replied with a wink as he opened the front door.

"Fine" Jackson sighed "Anything for a quiet life. Where's the kettle?"

And with that the two of them disappeared inside.

_Reviews welcome! :)_


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Jackson carefully carried the two mugs through to the living room of Smithy Cottage. He'd been inside the house once before but at the time hadn't really paid much attention, what with having a snarky teenager in his face and all. The place was comfortable looking and cosy, with a definite touch of the bachelor pad about it - big TV, Xbox, DVDs all over; but it was neat and clean which he guessed was Paddy's influence rather than Aaron's. He briefly wondered how much of a tip the mechanic's bedroom might be, but ruthlessly crushed the thought before it progressed any further. Now was not the time to be thinking about Aaron and bedrooms, that way lay madness. Or at least light-headedness, sweaty palms and, so soon after that amazing kiss, a strong possibility of uncomfortably tight trousers.

"Take your time why don'tcha, not like any of us are just out of hospital or anything!" a voice drifted over from the direction of the sofa.

"Aww poor baby... You want me to nip down the road and get your mummy for ya? Sure Chas'd be more than happy to come fuss over you!" Jackson replied with a laugh.

His only response was a hand with middle finger extended appearing over the back of the couch. Walking across to peer over the cushions he found Aaron lying sprawled full length on his side with his eyes closed. From this angle the builder could clearly see the ragged line of stitches in the back of the younger man's head, a vivid reminder of how close he'd come to losing him before they'd even got a chance to get to know one another properly.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." Aaron muttered at him.

"And crack the lens of me camera? Don't think so mate!"

The younger man smiled but Jackson saw his expression suddenly change to a grimace. In an instant he was around the sofa and, having quickly placed the mugs on the coffee table, knelt down in front of Aaron.

"You okay?" he asked gently.

The teenager's eyes fluttered open and focused on the older man. Jackson could see pain there but Aaron managed a small smile.

"Yeah I'm good." he murmured.

"You have got to be the worst liar I've ever met!" the builder said rolling his eyes "If you're in pain you just need to say. I can get you a couple of your pills." Reaching out he gently ran the back of his fingers down Aaron's cheek, tracing the edges of the healing bruises, trying to convey his concern for the younger man.

Blue eyes studied him for a few moments before drifting shut. "My nose is aching and my head's started to pound a bit." the mechanic admitted with a sigh.

Jackson shook his head at the teenager's hard man routine getting in the way of what should be common sense. "I'll get your meds and make you some toast to take them with." he said starting to get to his feet. A hand grabbing hold of his wrist stopped him in his tracks.

"Thank you." Aaron said in a small voice looking up at him.

The builder felt his heart warm and couldn't resist bending down to brush his lips across the younger man's.

"Drink your tea." he said with a grin as he straightened up "I'll be back with your food in a bit."

A few minutes later Jackson returned with a plateful of toast and a couple of fat white painkillers which he handed to Aaron. Lowering himself to sit on the floor next to the sofa he grabbed his mug of tea from the table and took a long appreciative swallow.

"I can shift up if you want to sit up here you know." the teenager said around a mouthful of food.

"Nah, this is fine, though wouldn't say no to one of those cushions..." the builder replied helping himself to a piece of toast.

Receiving a glare from the mechanic for the blatant theft, Jackson just smiled back cheekily as he munched his prize. Without taking his eyes off the older man Aaron reached back, grabbed one of the sofa cushions and passed it over.

"Cheers." Jackson said making himself comfortable.

The two men sat in companionable silence as they worked their way through their little meal, and before long the plate and mugs were left empty on the coffee table. Aaron lay down again looking contented and Jackson allowed his head to loll back onto the couch. He knew that he really ought to be heading down the hill to get back to work on the cottage, but right now he was so comfy that even the thought of moving was too much effort. He'd give it a couple of minutes more, five at the most, and then like it or not he'd have to make a move he decided.

Three and a half minutes later he felt something brush lightly across the top of his head. At first he thought that Aaron had nudged him accidentally, but then he felt it again. Rough fingers were tentatively stroking through his hair, here and there pausing to massage ever so gently. He couldn't suppress a small moan of satisfaction at how good it felt. It had been so long since anyone had touched him like this that he gave up all thought of going anywhere. Sod work, he wanted to spend the rest of the afternoon with Aaron. And if he was going to stay he knew what he wanted to do. It was about time that he found out more about the younger man in an effort to understand him better. He just hoped that it wouldn't backfire on him.

"Aaron?" he asked hesitantly.

"Mmm?"

"Could I ask you something?"

"Erm... I guess." the teenager replied.

"Would you tell me about yourself?"

The hand playing with his hair stopped moving and Jackson felt the body behind him tense.

"What d'you want to know?" came a wary sounding response.

Swallowing his misgivings the builder answered honestly "Anything... Everything?"

The younger man didn't move or speak. The silence stretched on and Jackson let it. There was nothing he could do now, what was done was done and either Aaron would say something or he wouldn't.

Finally the mechanic cleared his throat before answering "Why?"

"We hardly know anything about one another... I just... I'd just like to know more about you is all. We've never really talked about this sort of thing before. First we just talked about coming out and being gay, then..."

"Then I decked ya?" Aaron interrupted.

"Yeah... Then you decked me which kinda put a stop to us talking about anything!" Jackson continued ruefully "But in the hospital I got to find out a bit about what's going on with you now, the sorts of stuff you like and dislike, your sense of humour... If you can call it that!" he said with a laugh, trying to lighten the mood. The teenager flicked his ear in retaliation.

"Now... Well now I just want to know more I guess. I dunno... Maybe I figure it'll help me understand you. Maybe I'm just nosey! I just really like you and it makes me want to know you better." he finished.

The silence that followed was so fraught that Jackson felt like screaming just to break the tension. Knowing how private he was, the builder was desperately worried that Aaron would clam up tight once and for all and that that would be the end of what they had going. Maybe he shouldn't have pushed, but somehow he knew that if they didn't do this now, if they weren't open and honest with each other right from the start, then any relationship they embarked on would be doomed to fail. Better to have it fall apart now than however many months down the line when they were both even more emotionally invested.

The older man nearly jumped when Aaron broke the silence with a long sigh.

"Jackson... Why... What if you don't like what you hear?" he asked apprehensively.

Twisting round so that he could look the teenager in the eye, Jackson tried to convince him to open up. To trust him.

"That's all behind you Aaron. It's who you are now that matters, and I happen to quite like that person! Your past is what's made you who you are, it's not going to scare me off. I know you're not perfect, nobody is."

"I've done stuff Jackson, stuff you won't like! I'm still the same person that did all those things!"

"I don't believe that for a second! You're not even the same person you were when I first met you... He wouldn't've sat here with me like you are now, he wouldn't've kissed me like you did. Whether you've realised it or not you've changed Aaron. You can be whatever you want, you just have to decide what that is."

Jackson could see the war going on behind Aaron's eyes, could tell that the younger man was agonising over whether or not to give up another piece of himself for scrutiny.

Abruptly the teenager closed his eyes and put an arm over them "Where d'you want me to start?" he whispered.

The builder released the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. Having thought that he'd gone too far too fast he couldn't quite believe that Aaron was prepared to talk.

"Wherever you want mate, just take your time, I'm listening."

A few seconds went by as the younger man collected his thoughts.

"I... I don't really remember that much from when I were really little, was probably just the usual stuff, guess if there'd been anything particularly bad I'd remember. Think mum and dad started arguing when I was seven or eight maybe... That's when I started noticing at least. Mum started going out all the time, getting pissed with her mates. Dad'd stay home and get pissed in front of the TV, then when she got home they'd go at it. They probably thought I was asleep but nobody could sleep through their yelling. Used to scare the crap out of me. Then one day she was gone.

"She never said goodbye or nothing, I just got out of school expecting her to be waiting for me at the gate like normal and she weren't there. I remember that... It was raining and I was cold and I didn't know what to do, didn't even know how to get home on me own. A teacher took me back inside and called me dad, he came and got me and when we got home her stuff was gone. He never explained it, hardly even mentioned her after that. Stuff got a bit better after though. He didn't drink so much and we started doing stuff together like we hadn't before. He'd take me to the footie with him, took me down the pub when he went to meet his mates, even let me drive the car down the street once... Think I was only nine or ten!

"Then he met Sandra and everything changed again. He started seeing her a lot, didn't have so much time for me. We stopped doing stuff together. I'd get home from school and he wouldn't get back 'til after I'd gone to bed. The weekends he'd give me some money and tell me to go into town and do whatever for the day... Can you imagine? A ten year old being sent off on 'is own with a pocketful of cash? I were a magnet for every thieving bully in the place! And when I'd come home with bruises and torn clothes he'd say that it were good for me, that I needed toughening up cos I'd been spoiled my whole life!

"Then she moved in... Sandra I mean. Nice as pie she was when dad was about but when he weren't she weren't interested in me, would just tell me to stay in my room or go outside, said I was too noisy and that she needed peace and quiet. Nothing I ever did was good enough for her and he just went along with it. Like me grades at school... C's and D's weren't acceptable so I worked my arse off to get B's. Then B's were 'a disappointment', obviously I just wasn't making an effort. So I'd spend my lunchtime in the library and sit up half the night trying my best to understand stuff without anyone to help me and eventually I started getting A's! And when I did d'you think I got any praise? As if! My report cards just started getting ignored completely instead. You wouldn't think to look at me that I could get an A in anything would you?

"I started getting into trouble. Hanging out with the wrong sort of people Paddy'd call them, getting into fights... Nicking stuff from the shops. Dad finally seemed to notice me when I got brought home by the police one time. He was pissed off with me but then said it were his fault for not paying me enough attention. Thought he was going to take more of an interest then but Sandra convinced him that he did everything for me and that I was just an ungrateful little swine. She said that he should let me mam take care of me for a while then I might appreciate what I had... I didn't even know that they 'ad any idea where she was! Like always he went along with what she wanted and I ended up here with Chas for a bit.

"Urg... I hated it at first, told her exactly what I thought of her for walking out on us... But she paid me more attention than them two ever did and I guess it made for a nice change. Didn't actually want to leave when dad came to get me. Think I was even worse than before when I got home because of it! Sandra said I obviously hadn't learned my lesson so they sent me back again. Had a bit of a barney with mum about stuff that time though and she gave me a slap... Still, preferred being here to back with dad and I told 'im so on the phone the night before he come to get me. Someone told him what'd happened with mum and ee said I weren't never coming back cos of it. Kicked up a right fuss about that though and he gave in eventually. I only saw her once more after that though, think she lost interest in me, realised I was more trouble than I'm worth probably.

"They had a baby after that and that was pretty much it for me at home. It was like I were invisible the whole time, not even getting into trouble changed anything, I just got locked in my room and told to keep quiet. Think it were around then that I started to... To be interested in... To think... You know...

"There was this boy at school called Kyle. I used to watch 'im play footie and... I just wanted to be with 'im the whole time. Kept telling myself it were wrong... Dad had always said that blokes being together was sick... When he saw 'em in the street or wherever he'd always be like 'Fucking queers ought to be shot.' and stuff like that. I didn't want to be that way but I couldn't help feeling how I did.

"Sandra saw me watching him play one day when she was taking the baby out. Can't remember what it was she said... Something about my eyes back in my head and about people getting the wrong idea or something... The next thing I knew she was on the ground crying and people were running and shouting at me... I'd 'it her and couldn't even remember doing it, I just saw red... I ran home and hid in my room... Daft I know, as if that weren't the first place anyone'd look. When she told him I'd hit her dad kicked me out, wouldn't even listen to anything I had to say. Not that I could've told him why I'd done it anyway, ee probably would've just given me a beating on top of throwing me out.

"Slept rough for a bit before falling in with the _really_ wrong sort of people. Ended up staying in a dosshouse and working for the McFarlanes... They're the sort of wannabe mob round here. I started off just doing stuff like shifting boxes and crates in some of their bars and clubs but I could hardly afford to feed meself and keep a roof over my head even in the shithole I was living in so... So I started running drugs for 'em... I was desperate, there was no way I'd be able to get a proper job... Then I got caught by the police. Mum found out and to cut a long story short I ended up living back here with 'er and the rest of the Dingles. Was not best pleased but didn't really have much choice.

"Eventually I got kicked out of there for being a bad influence and me and mum moved in with Paddy. Couldn't believe that at the time, was like going from hell to an even more boring version of hell... I was horrible to him, took advantage the whole time... Messed up again... Selling his animal drugs out the back of the surgery. Not really surprising that I got sent packing that time.

"Lisa let us move back in to Wishing Well and got me the job at the garage, trying to get me to be more responsible I suppose. And trying to make me someone else's problem too probably. I started going out with Victoria but that... Ended. Was still getting into fights and stuff here and there. Then mum started going out with Paddy and moved us back into Smithy. Then she cheated on 'im with Carl and he kicked us out again. I told her that she had to choose between me and that tosser and she chose him so then I went back to the Dingles for a bit, but Paddy ended up taking me back. He's been there for me ever since no matter what I've said or done or how stupid I've been. Don't think I'd even know where to start to thank him for that...

"It were after that that I got to being friends with Adam. Never really had a proper friend before, not like that anyways. Guess that's probably why... Erm... Why I tried to kiss 'im... Got a bit confused with what I was feeling I suppose. Freaked me out. I tried to pretend that it never happened and started going out with Holly to... To convince myself I weren't that way. He told everyone that I was though but no one believed him. Things kinda fell apart after that... Me and Adam... Then me and Holly. She thought there was something missing.

"Think you probably know the rest really. It was after that that I lost my phone in Bar West..." Aaron trailed off.

Jackson didn't know what to say. He'd known that Aaron had been through a lot in his life but he'd never imagined anything quite like what he'd just heard. Unsettled wasn't the word for it. It was no wonder that the younger man was so closed off and untrusting. It made him feel all the more privileged to have been allowed to hear his story. It was obvious that he'd glossed over many of the events, made them seem less important to him than they really were, still trying to protect himself even as he spoke of things that the older man doubted he'd ever told anyone else about before. If he'd had any doubts about Aaron's feelings for him Jackson knew that these could be laid to rest.

Climbing onto the sofa he wrapped his arms around the teenager offering the support he instinctively knew would be needed, letting Aaron know that he was still there for him despite what he'd revealed. He felt the younger man's own arms hugging him back tightly and the two of them lay there for several minutes taking comfort in one another's embrace.

Jackson felt warm lips kissing his neck and he tilted his head to the side allowing the mechanic easier access, letting him reassure himself that he was wanted. Before long the sensations were too much to bear and he raised his head so that he could look down at Aaron. Sky blue eyes damp with tears stared back at him and his heart lurched as he realised just how much the younger man was hurting. The two men stared at one another for a moment before their lips crashed together passionately, each desperately needing the other in different ways.

Jackson groaned as Aaron began to writhe underneath him, the younger man's hands pushing up under his t-shirt, callused fingers digging into the muscles of his back. He wanted him so badly then that it hurt, he'd never fallen so hard for someone so fast. He'd have to put a stop to this soon or risk going too far. No matter how he was reacting right now, he knew that Aaron wasn't ready to take their relationship to the next level. Even though they'd known each other for a while now they'd only really been on couple of dates, and this was only their second proper kiss... Going any further was out of the question, even if his body had other ideas.

The two of them froze at the sound of the surgery door banging open. Looking across the room they saw Paddy stood in the doorway staring at them with his mouth hanging open.

"Err... Sorry! Urm... Yeah... Sorry... I'll just..." the vet spluttered, completely at a loss as to whether he should stay and 'be cool' or turn around and close the door behind him. Aaron took the decision out of his hands by squirming out from under Jackson and hurrying off up the stairs. A few seconds later they heard his door close.

"Well at least he didn't slam it." Paddy said looking uncomfortable.

"It's okay Paddy, we probably shouldn't've been... Doing what we were doing on your sofa." Jackson grinned sheepishly at the older man.

"No no! It's fine, this is Aaron's house too! I'm really sorry, I didn't know you were in here. I was just coming to check things were alright... You know... After what happened in the car... I guess they were until I walked in!" the vet apologised.

"I should go check on him, he's feeling a bit vulnerable at the moment." the builder said looking to where Aaron had vanished.

"Tell him from me that I'm fine with it would you? I'm really happy for the two of you! Couldn't be more pleased!"

"Will do." Jackson replied distractedly as he got up.

Paddy watched the younger man disappear up the stairs "Good luck mate." he murmured under his breath "Hope you don't need it."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Aaron sat on the edge of his bed fiddling with the cuffs of his hoody. He was feeling completely out of his depth and he hated it. Surely he should be coping with it all by now? But no… All at sea was a phrase that came to mind… Just when he thought he'd got his head above water another wave would crash down and swamp him. What if things never got any better? How long would it be before Jackson got sick of his dramas and found himself a nice normal bloke? Someone capable of giving him what he deserved?

Yes he'd managed to kiss the builder in front of Pearl of all people, outside where anyone could see them, but then when Paddy had walked in on them just a little while later the urge to run away and hide had overwhelmed him once again. It's not as if he could come up with a good reason why. If there was anyone who wouldn't have judged him then it was Paddy… Hell, he was probably thrilled. Embarrassed but thrilled. The vet seemed to be more excited about the whole gay thing than he was. Then again maybe that was understandable. Paddy was big on honesty, and admitting to yourself and everyone else that you're something you hate was about as honest as you could get.

'Do I hate being gay?' he thought. He'd been asking that question over and over ever since he'd actually been able to think of himself that way. At first the answer had been 'Yes!' every time. There was practically nothing he'd've liked less. But then... Well then he'd met Jackson. Jackson who drank pints and played pool. Who wore normal clothes and liked action movies and watched football. Jackson who was nothing like what gay people were _supposed_ to be like. And Aaron didn't hate him; didn't think there was any way that anyone could possibly hate him, despite him being gay. And somehow that tiny fact had changed the 'yes' into, if not yet a 'no', then definitely a 'maybe not'.

So why did he keep shying away from experiencing things? He knew now that he liked kissing guys... Or at least that he liked kissing Jackson. In fact he liked it a lot. He'd only done it a couple of times and it was already well up there on his list of favourite things to do! But it didn't seem to come easily. He couldn't even start to imagine walking down the street holding hands, or casually kissing him hello in the pub or any of those things that couples are meant to do. In private yeah maybe, but out there where everyone would know what they were... The thought made him shudder. Yeah he'd done it earlier, but he'd had to convince himself first that if he didn't then he'd lose Jackson for good. What if Jackson now expected him to do it all the time? He wasn't sure he could manage. And even if he could, who would want to be with someone that had to psyche themselves up just to show you some affection in public?

He groaned and buried his head in his hands. What was he going to do? Jackson had said that he could be whatever he wanted to be... He knew that he wanted to be someone who was worthy of Jackson, someone who would make him happy, but how he could possibly get from who he was now to someone like that was beyond him. It's not like he could spin himself a cocoon and emerge as a beautiful gay butterfly! He wasn't even a diamond in the rough, he was just a dirty lump of coal, and he couldn't see how any amount of polishing was going to make him shine bright enough to be with Jackson.

-x-x-

Jackson knocked gently on Aaron's door. At least he hoped it was Aaron's door. So far he'd ended up in a spare room and the airing cupboard. This was the last closed door up here and if it wasn't the teenager's bedroom then Aaron should seriously consider a new career as a magician.

No answer. The builder frowned and rapped on the wood a little more loudly. Still no response. Should he just walk in or should he go back downstairs and maybe try again later? Maybe it would be better if Paddy were the one to try talking to him? But if he went and asked the vet to do it then Aaron might think that he was angry with him for running off again or worse, that he didn't care.

No. He was going to go in and if the mechanic didn't like it then tough. If there was one thing that Jackson had figured out from what the teenager had told him of his life it was that he had learnt to expect abandonment. Now when things got tough or went wrong it was Aaron who would leave, avoiding the risk of rejection and saving himself from the pain it would cause him. And if that didn't work he would then test people by actively pushing away... He'd seen him do that in the hospital with his mum and relatives, giving them the sulky silent treatment or deliberately being rude or cruel until they left and didn't return. Well he was on to him now... If Aaron ran he would follow. If Aaron tried to push him away he would hang on even more tightly. The only way the younger man was going to get rid of him was to look him in the eye and calmly tell him that he didn't want him, and even then he wouldn't go without a fight!

Taking a deep, calming breath Jackson pressed the latch and pushed the door open a couple of feet. Carefully he eased his head round the edge of the door... Just because he was determined it didn't mean that he was stupid. Aaron could be unpredictable and he wouldn't put it past him to throw things if he wasn't happy about someone poking their nose in where it wasn't welcome.

He needn't have worried. The teenager looked anything but hostile. He was sat slumped on the edge of his bed, elbows on his knees and head in his hands. It would be hard to imagine anyone looking more dejected and Jackson's brow furrowed with concern. He thought he'd be facing angry Aaron... Whether he'd expected the younger man to be angry with him or with Paddy or with himself he wasn't sure, but he'd certainly been anticipating a good deal of shouting about being caught doing 'gay stuff' and how it was the end of the world. This was more troubling. Aaron was obviously upset rather than annoyed. He'd evidently been deep in thought if he hadn't heard the knocking at his door so who knew what he might have convinced himself of.

"Aaron?" Jackson called out cautiously.

The teenager jumped and startled eyes looked up at him.

"Sorry... I did knock a couple of times, but when you didn't answer I just kinda... Let myself in..." the builder explained nervously.

"Oh... Sorry, didn't hear." Aaron replied. Avoiding Jackson's gaze he looked down and started fidgeting with the drawstrings of his hood.

"Aaron -" Jackson started.

"Don't... I know what you're going to say." the mechanic interrupted "I'm sorry okay? I did it again... I lost it. I couldn't help it! I just panicked when I saw Paddy there gawping at us!"

"Aaron..."

"Look, I'll try harder alright? I can do better... Be better. Please don't get pissed off with me! I just need a bit of time to get me head round everything is all! Then I might be able to be more like what you want! Just give me another chance... Please?" the younger man practically pleaded.

"Hey!" Jackson hurried over to sit on the bed and threw an arm around the teenager "I didn't come up to have a go at you or anything! I just came to see if you're okay! I'm not angry or annoyed or anything... Actually I thought you might be pissed off with me!"

Aaron stared at him as if he'd sprouted another head "What? Why?" he exclaimed.

"Cos I kinda pushed you into telling me all that stuff about yourself and then got a bit... Carried away on the sofa after." the builder replied with a blush "Thought you might feel like I was rushing you into something you weren't ready for and then Paddy walking in made you realise..."

"No it wasn't anything like that. I just freaked again. I'm doing my best but it's just... I dunno how to explain it! I'm crap with emotions and talking and stuff!"

"You don't do so badly." Jackson said with a tender smile "Think you need to stop worrying so much is all. You've come so far today but we've got all the time in the world... I ain't going anywhere any time soon so you just take your time. Believe me, I know how hard it can be doing all this for the first time! I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to so if you're not ready for something just say so yeah? And if you want to talk about anything I'm here for ya. Paddy'll always be there too, and your mum and your family and your mates... You haven't lost any of em... You're really lucky you know?"

Aaron was speechless. Somehow Jackson always managed to say exactly the right thing to make him feel better about himself and what they were going through. And when he looked at him with that smile that made his eyes shine he felt like one day he might actually be good enough for him. All he could do was wrap his arms tightly round the older man and hold on to him like the life saver that he was.

TBC

_Thanks to all the lovely, lovely people who have reviewed so far! Every single one is greatly appreciated, as will any received in the future (unless they're mean obviously!). Never really expected to get as far as a chapter 15... Maybe I waffle on too much :O xx_


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**Patrick Kirk in the Twilight Zone**

* * *

_Friday 25__th__ June 2010, 08:21_

Running late and yawning hugely Paddy made his way downstairs. He hadn't had a particularly good night, having spent most of it tossing and turning as he worried about Aaron. After walking in on him and Jackson, he hadn't seen the teenager again. The builder had come back down a couple of hours later and told him that everything seemed to be okay but that Aaron was worn out and had gone to bed. They'd had a bit of a chat before the younger man had headed home and it had put his mind at ease for a while. But when Aaron still hadn't stirred by the time he was ready to call it a night, Paddy ended up spending almost an hour procrastinating about whether he should check on the younger man and risk waking him, or whether he should leave well alone and let him get his rest. In the end he'd opted for the latter, the result of which had been a very bad night's sleep.

"Morning Padster!" a cheerful voice greeted him as he entered the kitchen.

The vet gazed blearily at the figure leaning against the sink. Aaron was finishing off what looked suspiciously like a bacon sandwich, and the disaster area that was the kitchen counter confirmed that the teenager had been doing his version of cooking.

"What you doing up?" Paddy asked, wondering if his tired brain had missed something.

"Err... Eating breakfast, what's it look like?" the younger man replied with a wave of his sandwich.

"But it's not even half eight yet! And where's mine by the way?"

"Well if you weren't such a lazy git and 'ad got yourself out of bed at a reasonable hour I would've made you one! Kitchen's closed now though." Aaron smirked and wandered off.

Paddy stared after him in confusion. Aaron was smiling and seemed... Well for a normal person the vet would've said happy, for Aaron he wasn't sure what to make of it. Maybe the blow to the head had been harder than anyone had realised he pondered. Turning back to the kitchen he surveyed the wreckage the teenager had left in his wake. At least that was the same as usual; only Aaron could create such a vast quantity of washing up for a simple sandwich. _And_ the little bugger had managed to leave him to sort out the mess.

* * *

_Sunday 27__th__ June 2010, 09:02_

He could smell bacon. And eggs. And there was a serious possibility of sausages mixed in there too. Paddy stuck his head out of his bedroom and sniffed. Yes, definitely sausages. Quickly shuffling into his slippers the vet hurried along the landing and down the stairs. Aaron must be cooking again which was unprecedented. He could count on one hand the number of times the teenager had actually turned the stove on since he'd moved in. Now he'd apparently used it twice in as many days. It wasn't natural.

The kitchen windows were wide open but despite this there was a distinct blue haze in the air. Surrounded by what appeared to be every pot, pan and utensil that they owned, Aaron was fussing busily over a frying pan whilst behind him smoke was beginning to curl out of the toaster.

"What on earth is going on?" Paddy asked gawping at the devastation.

The younger man jumped and spun round.

"God! You frightened the life out of me!" he exclaimed "Oh Crap!" he added noticing the smoking toaster.

The vet had to cover his mouth with one hand in an effort not to laugh as Aaron hopped about flapping madly at the appliance with a tea towel.

"If you want to burn the 'ouse down there's easier ways of going about it ya know?" he spluttered, completely failing not to snigger at the teenager's antics.

Aaron spared him one of his best scowls before forlornly surveying the charred remains which had until recently been two perfectly innocent slices of bread. With a sigh he dumped them in the bin, placed two fresh slices into the toaster and turned back to his frying pan.

"You gunna take a seat of what?" he asked the older man without turning round.

"So I can sit there watching you stuff your face? No thanks!" the vet laughed.

"Was making it for you actually." Aaron muttered.

Paddy was speechless. All he could do was stare as food was haphazardly scooped out of the pan onto a plate, toast rescued and added to the mix and then the whole thing dropped onto the kitchen table with a knife and fork.

"Err… Why are you making me breakfast?" he finally managed to get out.

"I ain't trying to poison you or anything if that's what you're thinking." Aaron replied defensively.

"I wasn't thinking anything like that!" Paddy said hurriedly "It's just a bit… Of a surprise is all."

"I just… Well you seemed a bit peeved the other day when I didn't make you a bacon butty so thought I'd do something nice for yer day off is all." the teenager said turning pink "If you don't want it I'll have it."

"No no! That's great… Very thoughtful of you!" the vet exclaimed hurrying to sit down before he lost his meal. There certainly was a lot of it he thought as he dove in. Probably just as well given that some parts were burnt beyond redemption. Still, a goodly portion appeared to be perfectly edible, and even if it hadn't he still would've eaten it cos Aaron was looking pleased and that was worth risking indigestion.

* * *

_Monday 28__th__ June 2010, 05:13_

Paddy's eyes snapped open in the weak dawn sunlight. A glance at his bedside clock told him that he really shouldn't be awake yet, there was still over three quarters of an hour before the alarm was due to sound. He lay silently, senses on alert for what had woken him. A few seconds later he heard it again – stealthy movement downstairs. Ears straining he finally heard the slight jingling of Clyde's lead followed by the scrape of the key in the back door. The vet relaxed and breathed a sigh of relief. Aaron again. He wasn't happy that the young man was awake and out of bed at a time when he should be asleep, but at least it wasn't burglars.

Each morning in the few days since the teenager had been back from the hospital, Paddy had woken to find that he'd been up early walking his dog. Prior to his encounter with Wayne, Aaron's morning routine had generally consisted of skulking about upstairs until he was late for work before briefly appearing in the kitchen to pinch some or all of Paddy's breakfast on his way out the door. The vet had often wondered if the younger man even realised that there was a seven o'clock in the morning as well as one at night. Why he'd taken to getting up so early all of a sudden, especially when he was off work, was a mystery. Paddy of course had asked, concerned that his surrogate son wasn't getting the rest that he needed to recover, but Aaron had logically pointed out that seeing as he spent most of the day lying around doing nothing it was hardly surprising that he woke up at stupid o'clock in the morning. The vet could have accepted that explanation if it weren't for the fact that Aaron being logical was even more bizarre than his getting up to walk the dog at 5am.

* * *

_Wednesday 30__th__ June 2010, 13:42_

"Is it okay if Jackson comes round for tea tonight?"

"Say what sorry?" Paddy looked up from his newspaper, sandwich poised half way to his mouth.

"I said is it okay if Jackson has tea with us tonight?" Aaron repeated slowly from where he was leaning through the office doorway.

The vet stared at the younger man with his mouth open.

"What? 'ave I got something on me face or something?" the teenager asked rubbing a hand down his nose and across his mouth and chin.

"Urr... No." Paddy replied frowning in puzzlement.

"Then what? Why you looking at me like that?" Aaron demanded with a scowl.

"It's just... Usually when your mates come round for dinner they just sort of appear without warning. Bit like a swarm of locusts. Only with bigger appetites."

The mechanic responded with a shrug.

The two men stared at each other questioningly for a few seconds.

"So is it okay or not?" Aaron asked impatiently.

"Oh! Yes, of course he can. He's more than welcome... It's spag bol tonight and you know I always make way too much. I was thinking of inviting Rhona too actually, more the merrier and all?" Paddy answered tentatively. He wasn't sure that Aaron was particularly keen on his new partner.

"Cool." the teenager threw over his shoulder as he disappeared back into the house.

"AARON!" Paddy shouted after him.

The young man's head popped back round the door, eyebrows raised quizzically.

"Thanks for asking." the vet said with a smile.

Aaron rolled his eyes at him before vanishing again.

Paddy carefully put his sandwich down on the desk, slowly raising the upper slice of bread with the end of his pencil before peering inside. Perfectly ordinary cheese and tomato. Nobody appeared to have slipped any of the horse medication in there whilst he wasn't looking. He glanced at the doorway where Aaron had stood a minute ago... Odd. Very odd indeed.

* * *

_Friday 2__nd__ July 2010, 19:36_

"That were gorgeous Pads!" Aaron said with a contented sigh as he scooped the last forkful of his tea into his mouth.

"It were only lasagna." the vet replied diffidently, but he was unable to hide a flush of pleasure at the compliment.

"Mmt? Mmnt movnmy!"

"Urg! That's disgusting! Don't talk with your mouth full!" Paddy said pulling a face.

The teenager grinned at him and swallowed "I said: 'So? It's lovely!'"

The older man had a full on blush going, a disinterested grunt was the most praise he'd ever received for his cooking efforts before now.

"Fancy a pint down the Woolie?" he said to cover his embarrassment.

"You know I'm still not allowed to drink." Aaron answered rolling his eyes in exasperation.

"Oh yeah. Sorry. You could still pop down for a bit though couldn't you? You've not been in since you got back."

"Not much point if I can't have a pint or two is there?" the mechanic frowned looking uncomfortable "Watching my mates getting drunk on a Friday night's not gunna be much fun."

"Everyone's been asking about you..."

"I just really don't feel up to it Paddy." Aaron said hurriedly "Anyway, Jackson's bringing a DVD round in a bit. Why don't you go, I'll make a start on the washing up."

"You're actually volunteering to do the washing up?" the vet asked incredulously.

The younger man gave him a withering look and collected up the plates and cutlery.

"I'll... I'll nip down the pub then shall I?" Paddy said uncertainly as Aaron began filling the sink with water.

"See ya." the teenager replied with a wave.

Apparently that was the end of the conversation. The vet let himself out and hurried off down the hill. A stiff drink seemed to be in order.

* * *

_Tuesday 6__th__ July 2010, 11:56_

"I'm telling you, it's completely bizarre!" Paddy whispered.

"Why are we whispering?" Rhona whispered back.

"The walls have ears!" Paddy murmured looking suspiciously around the surgery.

"Okaaaaaaayy... And you say Aaron's the one acting strangely..." his partner replied looking at him as though he'd just declared that Elvis was alive and camping in the garden shed.

"SHH!"

"Paddy... Pearl snuck off for her lunch ten minutes ago and unless you're going to tell me that Aaron's also developed superhuman hearing, nobody is listening in!"

"Fine! But you have to admit that it's weird..."

"I thought you'd be happy that he's actually acting like a half decent human being for a change."

"I am... I just wish that I knew why! I mean yesterday I heard him singing in the shower. Aaron. Singing!"

"Maybe him and Jackson are... You know..." Rhona replied wiggling her eyebrows "That'd put a smile on his face I'm sure."

Paddy looked at her in horror.

The female vet laughed at his expression "You must've known that it would happen sooner or later. That's what young people get up to these days as Pearl would say."

"No no no! I'm sure that's not it. Jackson's definitely not stayed over and I don't think that he's the type to... The sort to... The kind of person who would... Who'd... Come and go so to speak." Paddy said awkwardly blushing crimson.

Rhona's eyes practically popped out "Patrick Kirk! If your mother could hear you…"

"You know what I mean!"

"Yes yes, Jackson's a lovely guy. God only knows why he's interested in Aaron."

"Hey! Ee's not that bad!" Paddy said defensively.

"Really? Then how come you're freaking out that he's started saying please and thank you all of a sudden?" Rhona grinned.

"I'm not freaking out! I'm just… Interested."

"Ask him about it then."

"Pfft! He'll go straight back to being moody if I do! No thank you!"

"Then ask Jackson, it's not like Aaron's going to get annoyed with him is it? Or not for long at least."

"That's actually a good idea… Dunno why I didn't think of it meself."

"Well you didn't take me on just for my stunning good looks… You do know that it's probably just that he's actually happy for once? Or at least whatever passes for happy in Aaron's head."

"The smiling and the being… Nice, yeah I guess. But that doesn't explain why he's getting up so early to walk Clyde. And why won't he come down the pub? Apart from sneaking out in the mornings I don't think he's left the house since he got back!"

"I don't know Paddy! Just get Jackson to sort it out and then you can stop worrying… What was he singing anyway?"

"What?"

"In the shower. What was Aaron singing?"

"Err… Walking on Sunshine I think. It were surprisingly good actually. Very tuneful."

Rhona laughed "They are _so_ having sex!"

Paddy threw a biro at her.


	17. Chapter 17

_Sweet, sweet inspiration struck this afternoon hence posting a second chapter today (also markab demanded it and is feeling poorly so was hoping this might make you feel a little better!)... The lovely reviews for the last chapter also helped greatly, was a tad nervous about the different style so v pleased that at least some of you enjoyed it!_

**Chapter 17**

"Anyone home?" Jackson yelled as he let himself into Smithy Cottage. He still felt a little uncomfortable just walking in, though Paddy and Aaron had assured him it was fine. They were both fed up of having to answer the door seeing as he'd been dropping by at least twice a day for the last week or so.

"Finally!" Aaron exclaimed, charging into the kitchen from the living room "I am absolutely starving!"

"Lovely to see you too dear, I'm fine thanks for asking!" the builder grumbled as the teenager excitedly grabbed the bagful of sandwiches he was carrying.

Aaron dropped the bag on the table before pushing the older man back against the door and kissing him soundly.

"Happy now dear?" he asked with a grin.

"Hmm?" Jackson answered dreamily.

"I'll take that as a yes!" the younger man laughed.

"Careful, I could get used to that!" the builder smiled as Aaron returned to ferreting about in the carrier bag for his lunch

"Good!" the teenager threw over his shoulder with a wink

"Is there pickle on this sandwich?" he asked as he arranged his on a plate.

"Of course."

"And no lettuce?"

"Nope."

"And it's cheddar not edam or that weird orange cheese that you came back with the other day?"

"Yeeees." Jackson sighed.

"You are an absolute star!" Aaron said happily, carrying his meal through to the living room, leaving the builder's sat wrapped up in the bag where he'd left it.

"Don't worry about sorting mine out or anything, I'll just do it meself shall I?" the older man shouted sarcastically after him.

"Okay! Make me a brew whilst you're at it would you please?" the teenager yelled back.

Jackson rolled his eyes and pulled a face.

"If the wind changes you'll stick like that you know?" Aaron called out from the sofa.

"Do you have cameras in here or something?" the builder answered looking round the kitchen suspiciously.

The younger man just laughed in response, and Jackson felt a warm smile cross his face as he went to fill the kettle.

-x-x-

Jackson sat on the sofa watching some mindless afternoon TV show, whilst Aaron used his thigh as a pillow and skimmed through a car magazine. The builder idly ran a hand over the younger man's short spiky hair, enjoying the feel of it brushing against his fingers, and revelling in the fact that the teenager now seemed more comfortable with the growing physical side of their relationship. Paddy nipping through to the kitchen a little while ago hadn't even caused him to tense up.

Looking down at him Jackson couldn't help but grin as he thought about how much had changed. It was less than three months since he'd ended up on the floor of the Woolpack for merely touching Aaron on the arm, now here they were practically snuggled up on the sofa together. He wasn't so foolish as to think that the teenager would be this intimate with him in public but he hoped that at least a little of the closeness they had developed would carry beyond these four walls. Speaking of which...

"Sooo... When were you intending on actually going out of the house?" he asked innocently.

"What?" Aaron replied looking up at him.

"Well you've been hiding indoors since you got back from hospital..."

"I've not been hiding! I've been out everyday!" the teenager exclaimed.

"Yeah, at about five in the morning to walk Clyde in a field somewhere."

Aaron glared at him "You've been talking to Paddy!" he said accusingly.

"He may've mentioned something when I saw him in the caff this morning..." the builder admitted "He's just worried about you is all."

The mechanic struggled into a sitting position as the comfortable atmosphere soured.

"I don't need him or you fussing over me!" he growled "Can't do anything right can I? I thought I'd been doing good the past couple of weeks Jackson, why's everyone still on my case? Is it really so weird for me to actually be happy for once that you all have to act like there's something wrong?"

"I'm not the one fussing over you. It's Paddy that's worried not me." Jackson said mildly.

That seemed to take the wind out of Aaron's sails. He stared at the older man with his mouth hanging open.

"You're not worried about me?" he asked after a minute.

"Nope."

"Oh... Well good." the teenager finished lamely.

"Why not?" he demanded after a second.

"Cos unlike Paddy, I know what's wrong, and I also know that everything's going to be fine." Jackson said smugly.

Aaron snorted at that "Oh aye? Mind reader now are ya?"

"I think I've got you sussed out yeah." the builder answered with a smile.

"Go on then, amaze me!"

"Okay then... You kissed me in front of Pearl who you know will have told anyone who'll listen all about it, so ever since you've been scared of what everyone in the village is thinking about you. Because you don't want to face them you've been using your injuries as an excuse for staying in here; that you're not supposed to drink as an excuse for not meeting your mates in the pub, and the fact that you don't do anything all day as the reason you wake up to walk the dog at a time you to just happen know that there's no chance of you running into anyone. Sound about right?"

Aaron scowled at him "That's a bunch of crap! I ain't scared of anything!" he snarled.

"Really?"

"Really!"

"Cool!" Jackson sat back looking pleased with himself "Then you'll be happy to know that Friday night, after you've got the all clear at your last hospital check up, I'll be buying you your first celebratory pint in the Woolpack. Adam and Ryan are gunna be there, think your mum and a bunch of your family are coming too, and I know Paddy, Rhona and Pearl are all really looking forward to it."

The teenager sat frozen for a few seconds before slumping down in his seat as he realised he'd been outmanoeuvred.

"But Jackson..." he whined.

"Don't but Jackson me! I ain't sitting at home for another Friday night and I know you must be gasping for a pint by now! You've got no excuse, what with you not being scared of anything and all..."

"I really hate you you know?" Aaron muttered.

"Nah ya don't! I'm much too awesome to be hated. Ask anyone! That's actually the reason everybody was so pleased when Pearl was gossiping about us kissing, they're all really happy that you've snagged yourself such a great bloke!" the builder replied with a grin.

The mechanic just stared at him, clearly unimpressed.

"Look… It's not going to be any worse than when you came out is it? They were all okay with that and they're going to be fine with this. Seriously, you don't have anything to worry about. Nobody's been off with me at all... Though having said that, given we've not been seen together since it happened I think there's a rumour going around that I'm a naff kisser which I'm not best please about."

"Yeah I know," Aaron said with a sly smile "It was me that started it."

Jackson gasped in mock indignation and smacked him on the arm "Well if that's how you feel then no more kisses for you." he stated.

"Aww… I was only kidding!" the younger man pouted back.

"They do say many a true thing is said in jest." the builder replied sticking out his tongue.

Aaron launched himself at Jackson and wrestled him down onto the sofa eliciting a cry from the older man.

"Come on! Just one little kiss?" the teenager laughed making lip smacking noises as the two of them struggled together among the cushions.

"Noooo!Geroffmeyagreatlump!" the Jackson squealed as Aaron tried to pin him down "Oh! Look it's Paddy!" he gasped as the older man poked his head round the door intent on finding out what all the noise was about "You'll have to stop now! Can't be doing this sort of thing in front of Paddy can ya?"

"Err… Actually I think I'll leave you to it. Just try to keep the noise down a bit would ya?" the vet said quickly before disappearing back into the surgery.

"Noooooooo Paddy come back! Help!"

"Nowt's gunna stop me kissing you ya know so you may as well just shut yer face and pucker up!" Aaron declared as he finally managed to restrain the older man.

Jackson looked into the deep blue eyes shining playfully down at him and all the fight went out of him.

"Fine… But I won't enjoy it!" he said sulkily.

"Yeah you will... Word on the street is that it's you who's the naff kisser not me!" the teenager replied with a smirk before swooping down to claim Jackson's lips with his own.

A few seconds later they broke apart, staring hungrily at one another as they gasped for breath. Each time they had a moment like this Jackson was finding it harder and harder to resist the urge to take things further. Never had he been drawn to another man as strongly as he was to Aaron, but he'd also never been with someone as inexperienced. His desire and his sense of responsibility were at war and he was starting to worry that the wrong side was going to win out. There were only so many cold showers that a body could stand!

As if sensing his conflict Aaron blushed and climbed off the older man, offering a hand to pull him upright.

"Suppose you'll be getting back to work?"

Jackson checked the time and groaned. He was running late again.

"Couldn't you just ring Declan for me and tell him that I've died or something?" he asked, pulling his best puppy dog impression.

"And when you turn up tomorrow where does that leave me?" the mechanic laughed.

"I'll just tell him that I got better." the builder answered with a grin.

"Don't be so soft! You're gunna need to earn some pennies if you're buying me a drink on Friday."

"You're going to come then?" Jackson asked excitedly.

"Weeell… Can't very well leave me boyfriend sat on his own in the pub can I? Someone might try to steal ya!"

The older man was thrown for a moment. Aaron had never referred to him as his boyfriend before. At best he was a 'mate' when introduced to anyone, even if those people already knew who he was and that he and Aaron were a bit more than just friends. They'd never really discussed what they were to each other and Jackson had been happy enough to just go with the flow, figuring that the right time to talk about it would eventually present itself. He hadn't expected the younger man to just casually throw it into a conversation like that. He couldn't just ignore it, but he wasn't sure how to react. If Aaron had been joking then taking it seriously would be a mistake, but equally, if he'd been serious then laughing would be even worse. What to do?

Aaron had turned red and started to fidget nervously with the hem of his t-shirt.

"That is what you are isn't it?" the younger man asked nervously "My boyfriend I mean? If… If you don't want to be -"

Jackson didn't even let him finish before pulling him in for a passionate kiss.

"Course I want to be!" he exclaimed pulling back to look Aaron in the eye "Can't think of anything I'd like more."


	18. Chapter 18

_Only one chapter today, think 2 on the same day last time broke my brain! :-s x_

**Chapter 18**

Uncomfortable chairs, unidentifiable smells, undrinkable coffee, unhappy people. If he never saw another hospital waiting room in his life it would be too soon. At least this time it wasn't an unplanned visit, and hopefully it would be the last one for a good long while. Flipping through a thirteen year old edition of the Reader's Digest, Paddy again cursed himself for not remembering to bring a book.

There must be someone somewhere, the vet thought, whose job it was to visit waiting rooms all over the country and remove any reading material that was even remotely interesting. So far he'd been reduced to reviewing 'What Diesel Car?', 'Modern Asphalt', and his personal favourite, 'World of Wool Monthly', not one of which was under five years old. If Aaron didn't hurry up then there was a serious danger that he would lose his mind. Though, given that he now couldn't stop thinking about what a fascinating hobby felting sounded like, it might already have happened without him noticing.

It was the teenager's final check up with the doctor and Paddy knew that they were running a whole battery of tests to make sure that there were no nasty surprises in store following the beating he'd taken. The vet appreciated their thoroughness, he just wished that it came with an accompanying turn of speed. He'd thought that they would've be done and well on their way back to Emmerdale by now, and had planned his day accordingly, but apparently that had been wishful thinking. At this rate he'd have to call Pearl and have her cancel his afternoon appointments, not something he relished doing. He only had five hundred free minutes left this month. With a sigh he settled down to decide which article to read first: 'When Elephant's Weep: Do Animals Fall in Love?' or 'Hijacked on Interstate 20'... Decisions, decisions.

-x-x-

In the end the vet never did get to find out whether or not animals fall in love as Aaron appeared only a couple of minutes after he'd begun to read. The teenager looked tired but was smiling broadly.

"Good news I take it?" Paddy asked getting to his feet.

"All clear! No lasting damage... And best of all I can finally have a drink!" the mechanic said as he rubbed his hands together in anticipation.

"Good good. Just as well you have a thick head really!" the older man laughed.

"Tell me about it! Wait... What's that supposed to mean!" Aaron demanded with a scowl.

"Nothing!" the vet replied innocently "You ready to get off?"

"God yes!" the teenager replied all annoyance forgotten "Can't wait to see the back of this place!"

The two men quickly made their way back to the car and set off for home.

"So... Looking forward to tonight then?" Paddy enquired as they sped through the streets.

"I guess..." Aaron responded indifferently.

"Oh Aaron!" the vet groaned in frustration "You've got to come! Jackson's been so excited about the two of you going out together -"

"I never said I weren't going!" the mechanic cut in.

"You didn't have to! I've heard that tone of voice too many times to not know what it means!"

The younger man crossed his arms and glared out at the road.

"I promised Jackson I'd go so I'm going." he stated "I'm just... A bit nervous."

"Oh..." the vet said, surprised by the admission "Well that's natural after everything you've been through. But once you see your mates and get a drink down ya you'll be fine, you'll see. And me and Jackson'll be there for you." he reassured.

"Yeah I know all that... It's just weird knowing that everyone knows about me and him. I can't help feeling like some sort of freak show attraction."

"Nobody thinks anything like that! We all just want you to be happy."

They sat quietly for a while as the miles passed by. Hotten was left behind and the open country unfolded around them.

"So nobody's going to be staring at us then?" Aaron asked, finally breaking the silence.

"Weeellll..."

"Thought as much." the teenager snorted.

"Just try and have a good time yeah? Please?" the vet implored.

"Yeah yeah. But if anyone says anything..."

"Then you'll calmly ignore them and go on with your evening like nothing happened?" Paddy asked hopefully.

"Something like that." the mechanic replied darkly.

-x-x-

Aaron lay on his bed and stared morosely at the ceiling. Soon he'd be expected to traipse down to the Woolpack and face the rest of the village. It was a warm Friday evening so it was guaranteed that pretty much everyone was going to be there. They'd all point and stare and whisper about the suicidal gay boy who'd been attacked, who'd nearly died and who'd recently been seen snogging blokes out where anyone could see them at it.

All he wanted was to be quietly anonymous and get along without feeling like he was a goldfish in a bowl, but instead fate had seen fit to give him a life which was a gossip's dream come true. Still, maybe Jackson was right that he was just making mountains out of molehills and everything would be fine. At least the builder would be there tonight to hold his hand. Metaphorically speaking obviously. There was no way he wanted to throw more fuel on the fire!

The thought of Jackson sent his mind off in an entirely different direction. Yesterday he'd agreed that the older man could come straight over from work to shower and change before they went out. It had seemed like a sensible idea at the time. After all, it would've been ridiculous for him to go all the way back to his flat to get ready only to return to Emmerdale for a couple of hours before he then had to head off home again. Aaron had only discovered the flaw in their plan about half an hour ago when Jackson had turned up.

The builder had arrived covered in dust and after a quick kiss had disappeared into the bathroom to get cleaned up and changed. Now Aaron was finding it very difficult to stop his mind conjuring up images of the older man all wet and soapy with hot, steamy water cascading all over his body. He couldn't decide which was worse, worrying about going to the pub or fantasising about Jackson!

Actually, it was more the embarrassment of finding himself yet again fantasising about the builder that he disliked, he quite enjoyed the fantasies themselves, something which caused him even more embarrassment! There was no getting away from them though, they'd been becoming more and more frequent as the two of them had grown closer. He had now reached the point where he could hardly go five minutes without slipping into a daydream where he was kissing Jackson, or running his hands over Jackson's body, or, or, or... Doing other stuff with him... Even the merest thought of it made his cheeks burn.

The worst thing was that there was nobody he could talk to about it all. There was just no way he could even begin to imagine talking to Paddy about sex. If he'd tried, the chances were he'd have come away more confused than ever, and the two of them would probably never be able to be in the same room together again. Then there was his mum of course, but hell would've had to have frozen over before he'd have contemplated talking to her about girls. Now that he'd accepted that he was into blokes there was absolutely no chance of him going there for advice, much as Chas would've undoubtedly relished discussing the matter. That only left Adam and he had no desire to weird out his best and pretty much only friend.

No, the only person he'd ever been able to talk to about the whole 'gay' thing was Jackson, but this was one situation where the builder was the absolute last person he could turn to. What would he say? 'So Jackson, I've been giving serious consideration to the two of us having sex. Any thoughts on the matter?'... No. Fucking. Way. So instead he was left to try and work through his twisted up feelings all on his own.

It was there, lying on his bed, idly watching the dust motes dancing in the golden evening sunlight, that Aaron had a revelation. It didn't have to be complicated. If he pushed all the crap to one side - chose to forget what other people would think, ignored his hangups about being gay, disregarded the fact that, no matter what he might say to anyone, he was terrified of what he was going through – then it all boiled down to one question.

Do I want to sleep with him?

Seven little words and a punctuation mark. Only two possible responses. Couldn't be any simpler. So why was it so difficult?

Thinking hard Aaron tried to consider everything he knew and felt about Jackson. Well he was good looking... Very good looking really. He had a smile that lit up the room, the kind that put you instantly at ease; warm, expressive brown eyes that if you weren't careful you could get lost in for hours; curly brown hair that ought to look kind of ridiculous but somehow he managed to make look hot, and that felt soooo good when you ran your hands through it. From what he could tell the older man's body was firm and muscular, the result of all the hard work he did rather than of hours spent primping in some gym...

But that was all just surface stuff. Just walking down the street in town you might see any number of decent looking blokes and he never even thought twice about what it might be like sleeping with any of them. So what made the builder different? And was it enough for him to surrender himself up to him? To drop all his remaining defences? Because Aaron knew that that's what he'd need to do to go through with it. He would need to let Jackson all the way in, trusting him like he never had anyone before.

And suddenly it _was_ simple. He'd spent so long agonising over whether or not to allow Jackson to get close; whether or not to let down the walls he'd spent years building; whether or not to trust him, that he'd missed something. Whilst he'd been busy torturing himself with all these questions, Jackson had apparently simply strolled into his heart as if the barriers around it weren't even there. When he thought about Jackson... _Really_ thought about him, he felt truly happy. The builder made him laugh, made him feel safe and made him feel wanted. He'd trusted him with things that he'd never even hinted at to anyone else, shared his feelings and fears whilst hardly even realising he was doing it. Jackson made him want to be a better person and, unlike anyone he'd ever met before, made him believe that he could do it.

Aaron didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the realisation that he did indeed want to take it all the way with Jackson, because it now felt like he should have known all along. He couldn't for the life of him see why it had ever been anything less than obvious. It would be a huge step, and he'd be lying if he said that he wasn't scared, but he was absolutely certain that Jackson would take care of him and show him what to do without judging him. It felt good to finally know what he really wanted and to realise that he had someone in his life that he could put all his faith in.

_Please review! :D_


	19. Chapter 19

_Brain still not working :( And a fat lot of help Emmerdale is at the moment, not exactly inspirational *sigh* Still, hope this lightens the mood a little xx_

**Chapter 19**

"PADDY! YOU DRESSED YET? WE'RE LEAVING!" Aaron's voice echoed up the stairs.

The vet hopped out of his bedroom trying to both pull on a shoe and fasten his shirt at the same time.

"I'm nearly ready!" he called down over the landing railing.

"Well we'll meet you there then." the teenager answered.

"Can't you even wait five minutes?" the older man exclaimed.

"I'm thirsty!" the mechanic yelled back.

"Well... Have a glass of water!"

"Pfft! No!" Aaron snorted, and with that he turned and left the house letting the door slam behind him.

Paddy winced and wandered back to his room. Looking in the mirror he saw that in his haste he'd managed to get half his shirt buttons through the wrong holes. "Well at least I don't have to hurry now!" he muttered to his reflection as he started to sort himself out.

Ten minutes later, finally fit for public viewing, the vet pushed his way through the doors of The Woolpack. He didn't even have a chance to glance around the place before a worried looking Marlon accosted him.

"Thank god you're 'ere!" he hissed "You've got to do something!"

"Nice to see you too mate!" Paddy replied pulling a face.

"Never mind about all that! You have got to sort this out! Diane's having kittens!" the chef whispered back urgently.

"Err... Maybe you could actually tell me what yer on about first eh?"

Marlon looked at him like he was simple before jerking his head to the left. The vet looked round and saw Aaron and Jackson sitting glaring at one another across one of the bar room tables. With a sinking feeling he suddenly realised how quiet the pub was for a Friday night. Looking about he saw the customers all stealing glances at the two young men as Diane stood behind the bar openly glaring at them whilst vigorously polishing a glass as though she were throttling someone. He could guess whose neck she wished her hands were wrapped around.

"What's happened?" he asked Marlon with a sigh.

"You tell me! They've been like that since they came in!"

"They were fine earlier! Laughing, messing about... It's like 'aving a pair of naughty schoolboys in the 'ouse!"

"Well do something before they start scrapping like they're in the playground!"

"What do you want me to do?" Paddy exclaimed.

"I dunno... Anything! Just do something before Aaron kicks off!"

The vet sighed again and made his way over to the table. Why couldn't he just have a nice, quiet night?

"Alright lads?" he asked cheerfully "What's up?"

"Nothing." Aaron growled without taking his eyes off Jackson.

The builder rolled his eyes and took a swig of his pint.

"Jackson?" Paddy asked.

"He's being unreasonable again." the builder replied with a shrug.

"I am not! If anyone's being unreasonable it's you!" Aaron hissed at him.

"Hah! Yeah right!" Jackson snapped " Cos you're well known for being Mister Calm and Collected!"

The teenager just glowered back.

"Look... I'm sure it's just some sort of silly misunderstanding right?" the vet asked nervously. The tension around the table was beginning to worry him, he hadn't seen this side of Aaron in weeks.

"It's not a misunderstanding! He's just wrong, end of!" the younger man practically shouted.

"Aaron..." Jackson began tiredly "Can't we just agree to disagree on this one?"

"No! You're wrong and you know it! Why can't you just admit it! Why do you always have to be right about everything?"

"_I_ have to be right about everything?" the builder exclaimed incredulously "I think you'll find that that's you! See what I have to put up with?" he asked turning to Paddy.

"Aaron... Maybe you could just -" Paddy began.

"I _knew_ you'd take his side!" the teenager cut in sulkily.

"I'm not taking anyone's side! I don't even know what the problem is!" the vet cried in exasperation.

"Please Aaron..." Jackson leant forward and placed a hand on the younger man's arm.

Everyone saw Aaron tense when the builder touched him. As people around the room let out a collective gasped, Jackson whipped his hand back as though he'd been burnt, Cain and Zak pushed away from the bar in case they needed to step in and Paddy hurriedly placed a restraining hand on the teenager's shoulder.

"For god's sake clam down!" the vet muttered under his breath. He could feel the tension thrumming through the younger man and knew what would come next if he couldn't diffuse the situation.

Aaron was back to scowling at Jackson.

"Why can't you just for once admit that I'm right? Just once?" he ground out through clenched teeth.

The builder threw up his hands in exasperation "Because nobody in their right mind would ever think that Galaxy is better than Dairy Milk that's why!"

Paddy opened his mouth to comment then snapped it shut as the words filtered through his brain. He stared incredulously at Jackson for a few seconds before turning his gaze to Aaron.

"This... This is about chocolate? You're arguing over sweets?" he exclaimed.

The corners of Aaron's scowl twitched once, twice, then he couldn't keep a straight face any longer and burst out laughing so hard that he had to put his head between his knees. Paddy goggled at him in shock before turning on Jackson.

"You, you, you..." was all he managed to stammer out before the builder also broke down in a fit of giggles.

The vet looked speechlessly around the bar, glad to see that everyone else was looking as shocked as he felt. Marlon's eyes were popping out of his head; Cain was frowning like the world had somehow stopped making any sense; Diane had frozen mid-polish with her eyebrows apparently trying to climb into her hair; Chas, sat at another table, was gawping like a fish, a glass of wine paused halfway to her open mouth; Pearl sat in a corner wide-eyed with one hand over her mouth, Edna next to her looking scandalised. And in the silence of the room the only sound was that of the two young men gasping for breath in between gleeful chuckles.

Finally coming to his senses Paddy smacked Aaron round the back of the head "That wasn't funny!" he complained which only caused the teenager to laugh even harder.

"Ahh mate!" Jackson managed breathlessly "If you could've seen your face you wouldn't say that!"

"You nearly gave me a heart attack!" the vet glared at him.

"Aww let me get you a drink... Oi you" he said kicking Aaron under the table "Shift round and let Paddy sit down before ee drops down dead!"

The younger man sat up panting for breath. He was red in the face and tears were streaming down his cheeks as he tried to stop laughing.

"Sorry Paddy!" he said completely unconvincingly as he shuffled onto the bench seat to make room.

As Jackson got up to go to the bar conversation returned to the room with avengeance and the vet sat himself down with a hard look at his surrogate son "So this was all some sort of joke? I take it it was your idea?"

"It was Jackson's actually. You don't always have to think the worst of me you know." Aaron pouted back.

The older man raised a sceptical eyebrow in response.

"Okay, okay! So it is usually me that comes up with the stupid ideas. But this one was his! Honest! He thought maybe if we acted like everyone expected and then pulled the rug out from under 'em then they might spend their time nattering about that rather than staring at me and making me feel... Uncomfortable." the teenager admitted with a blush.

"That's... Actually that's quite clever." Paddy said thoughtfully "You could've warned me about it though instead of leaving me bricking it!"

"He only thought of it on the way down. And anyway, kids are supposed to freak out their parents!" Aaron replied with a smirk.

The vet was so thrilled that Aaron had implied that he saw him as his dad that he forgot that he was supposed to be annoyed.

"So everything's okay between you two then?" he asked beaming.

The teenager looked across at the bar to where Diane appeared to be giving Jackson a piece of her mind and a soft smile broke out across his face.

"Yeah... Better than okay really." he sighed happily "Actually... I wanted to ask you something..."

"What's that then?" the older man probed gently when the question wasn't forthcoming.

"Err..." Aaron began, looking over at the bar again to make sure the builder wasn't on his way back "I wanted to ask if... If... IfJacksoncanstaythenight?" he blurted out, his face turning crimson.

It took Paddy a moment to decipher the jumble of words and when he did he felt his own cheeks heat. Rhona had warned him that this was going to happen if it hadn't happened already without his knowledge. But somehow he'd convinced himself that it wouldn't, probably much like any parent convincing themselves that their children are never ever going to have sex. He supposed that in Aaron's case though it was easy enough to actually believe it. It was after all not that long ago that the teenager had himself said that he never wanted to do that with another man, that the very thought of it disgusted him.

But that aggressive, angry person who had exploded out of the closet was worlds apart from the shy, thoughtful young man that had started to emerge over the last few weeks. It was hard to forget who he'd been though. Every time Aaron brought him a cup of tea without being asked, or had dinner on the go when he got back from a call out, or even just smiled at him when he came down in the morning, it still felt like he'd fallen down the rabbit hole. Nevertheless, he felt like he should have seen this coming.

"Paddy!" Aaron hissed urgently, his eyes pleading for an answer.

The vet looked across at the bar where Jackson had finally managed to get some drinks and was now handing over a tenner.

"I, I, erm I mean... If you're sure... You are sure aren't you? I mean it's a big step..." he managed to splutter out.

The teenager again glanced at Jackson and the look on his face told Paddy everything he needed to know. He'd never seen the young man looking so openly happy in his life. It was clear that he knew what he wanted.

"Of course he can stay." the vet said before Aaron could even answer his question "I'll stop at Marlon's for a bit later, give the two of you some space. Just... Just be careful yeah? And don't let him push you into anything you're not ready for."

Aaron didn't have a chance to answer as Jackson placed three pints down on the table, but the look of gratitude he threw the vet was easy to read.

"Are my ears bleeding?" the builder moaned as he sat himself down on the bench seat next to Aaron "That woman has a vicious streak a mile wide! You can go up to get the next round!" he shot at his boyfriend.

"I'm skint!" the teenager replied happily.

"If you will play silly buggers... You're lucky she didn't bar you for life!" Paddy laughed.

"Nah she wouldn't do that, she can't resist the old Walsh charm!" Jackson answered giving Diane his best grin and a little wave across the room. The landlady rolled her eyes in exasperation but couldn't prevent her lips twitching up in an answering smile.

"See what I mean? Like putty in me hands!" the builder joked.

"She never smiles at me." Aaron complained as he flicked a beermat around the tabletop.

"That's cos you're a miserable git." the older man retorted "Not to worry though, I still like ya despite that!"

"Masochist." Paddy muttered into his beer.

Just then Adam came through the doors and made his way over to where the group was sitting.

"Thank god you've finally turned up!" the mechanic greeted him "Not sure how long I could've put up with these two picking on me!"

"Not to worry!" Adam grinned "Now you've got me here to pick on you too!"

Aaron groaned and slouched down in his seat in mock misery.

"Told you you'd have a good night didn't I?" Jackson laughed.

The builder's eyes widened as he felt his boyfriend's hand squeeze his thigh under the table.

"Yeah you did. And I'm hoping it's going to get even better." the younger man replied with a smile.

-x-x-

Aaron's heart was pounding in his chest. He'd been having a really great evening so far, much better than he'd ever imagined he would. Not that that was hard given how he'd felt earlier! Soon after Adam had joined them, Rhona then Ryan and Andy had turned up to swell their numbers. Then when the kitchen closed Marlon had inserted himself next to Paddy and joined in. Everyone was joking and laughing happily, Jackson getting along with them all like he'd been part of the group his whole life.

A little later Charity and his mum had wandered over and he'd been in such a good mood that he'd scooched along the bench to allow them so squeeze in next to him. He'd felt unaccountably pleased when Chas had looked so happy to be sitting with him. The fact that in making room he'd been 'forced' to press himself close up against Jackson's side may or may not have had something to do with it. He'd even mustered up to courage to slip his hand into the builder's... Admittedly it was out of sight under the tabletop but the huge smile that had spread across his boyfriend's face made it clear that it was appreciated.

His boyfriend... It was him that was making his heart beat so fast. He felt giddy knowing what he was planning on suggesting to Jackson in a bit. He'd been careful not to drink too much, given that he'd not had any alcohol in nearly a month he didn't want to get hammered and make a fool of himself. No, he'd set himself a limit of three pints and was now feeling nicely buzzed. Glancing at the clock on the wall he saw that it was a little after half ten... If he was going to do this he'd have to do it now as some of the villagers would soon be starting to make their way home, and he really didn't want an audience. Especially if Jackson said no. Oh god! What if he said no? The thought hadn't crossed his mind until now. Crushing the sudden nagging doubt he decided he'd just have to go for it and deal with the consequences, whatever they may be.

"You okay? You've gone kinda quiet..." Jackson asked intruded on his thoughts.

Perfect!

"I'm feeling a bit tired actually. Was thinking I might head off..."

The builder checked the time "Yeah, I guess I should be making a move for the bus, don't want to miss it!"

Aaron just nodded, worried that if he said anything to his voice might give away his nervousness in front of all his mates and family.

"We're gunna head off." Jackson announced to the table "I need to get to the bus stop and the wounded soldier here's still not up to a proper night out!" he said with a dip of his head in Aaron's direction.

The teenager rolled his eyes theatrically at the comment as he said his goodbyes, pointedly ignoring the thumbs up and the big wink that a now drunken Paddy gave him with absolutely no subtlety whatsoever.

Stepping out into the cool night air, the darkness lending him courage, Aaron once again reached out and grasped Jackson's hand before moving towards Smithy Cottage.

"Urm... The bus stops over there." the older man nodded over his shoulder as Aaron pulled him up the slope to the front door of the house.

"I know where it is thanks." the teenager replied as he fished in a pocket for his key.

"I know you know." The builder laughed "What I meant was why are we here instead of there? I'm gunna miss the bus!"

"Good." Aaron stated as he got the door open.

"What do you mean good? How am I going to get home? I've had too much to drink to take the van!" Jackson protested as he was dragged inside.

"I know." was all the younger man said before capturing his boyfriend's lips in a hungry kiss, desperately trying to convey all his want and need in that one simple, passionate gesture.

"Stay with me?" he gasped quietly when they finally broke apart.

-x-x-

Jackson wondered if he'd misheard Aaron over the pounding of the blood in his ears. It had sounded very much like the younger man had just invited him to spend the night. He tried not to get too excited in case it hadn't meant what he so fervently hoped it meant.

"What?" he croaked out of a mouth which suddenly felt as dry as sandpaper. He cleared his throat quickly before repeating "What?" in a slightly less strangled tone of voice.

In the dimness of the unlit living room he couldn't see Aaron's expression, but he almost felt the heat of the blush that he could perfectly imagine spreading across his boyfriend's face.

"I said stay with me?" the teenager answered sounding incredibly nervous.

"Err... As in stay in the spare room or on the sofa?" he asked in return. God he hoped that didn't come out sounding as desperate as it did in his head.

"No... As in stay with _me_. In my room." Aaron whispered, "Please?"

Jackson thought his heart might burst with delight, though he was still trying to keep calm just in case all he was being invited up for was to sleep. Not that he would have minded just sleeping next to Aaron, but keeping his hands to himself all night would quite possibly kill him. Especially given that the teenager only had a single bed.

"I'd like that... If you're sure." he managed to say without too much of a squeak in his voice.

"Do you think me of all people would ask that if I weren't sure?" the younger man laughed softly.

"I guess not." the builder responded conceding the point.

"Well then..." and with that Aaron brushed a quick kiss across his lips before leading him across the darkened room and up the stairs.


	20. Chapter 20

_Hey, sorry for the length of time since the last update! I was part way through what will now be chapter 21, having merrily skipped to the morning after, when it became apparent that some people would quite like to know what A&J get up to in the bedroom on their first night together... Shame on you all! -D Still, for those of you who'd pay good money to be smuggled into Aaron's wardrobe, here's my attempt at an M rated smutty smut filled chapter... Don't say I never get you anything nice!_

_Don't think there are any vital plot points, just a bit of angsty Aaron/Jackson realationship development, so if you don't want to read about sexy times then you won't miss anything important by skipping it. Also, I have no idea if it's any good as I've never written anything like this before, but it did end up being extremely long, so even if it's rubbish you might at least feel a tremendous sense of value. Hope you enjoy, and if not read the reviews for the last chapter if you want to know who to blame! ;-) xx_

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Rated M for sexual content - you've been warned so don't complain!

**Chapter 20**

Aaron quietly closed his bedroom door, pressing his forehead to the cool wood and taking deep, calming breaths. His heart felt like it was trying to hammer it's way out of his rib cage and he desperately needed a moment to compose himself. A small part of him still couldn't believe that he was even considering doing this, but the rest was so excited and turned on that it was mildly surprising that it wasn't all over before it had even started. He was sure that this what he wanted though, that Jackson was all that he could ever want. It was just nerve wracking actually being here, knowing what would happen if he let it. After all, he had no idea what he was doing... Well, he _knew_ what went on... Kind of anyway... But he suspected there was a massive difference between theory and practice, and you didn't get a second chance to make a first impression after all. What if he was crap?

Oh dear god he was going to be shit in bed! He was going to have sex with Jackson and he was going to be awful at it and the builder would laugh and never want to see him again! The older man had probably been with loads of guys who all knew all sorts of... Stuff. How could he ever compare to any of them? This had been a terrible idea! Why hadn't he thought of this beforehand?

Maybe it wasn't too late to change his mind. He could just ask Jackson to sleep in the spare room, and then, and then, and then... What? Tell him they were over? Never see him again? Cos that's what it would take. There was no way he could see him around and not want to be with him, and there was no way he could be with him without their eventually having to have sex. It's not like the builder showed any inclinations towards becoming a monk! So... Sleep with Jackson and lose him, or don't sleep with Jackson and lose him... What the fucking hell sort of choice was that?

His thoughts were interrupted by warm lips brushing across the sensitive skin on the back of his neck, the tickling scratch of stubble sending shivers down his spine. He couldn't suppress a gasp as strong arms wrapped around him and rough hands worked their way under his t-shirt, stroking his chest and stomach as he was pulled back against the firm body standing suddenly behind him.

"Hey... Relax... It's okay." Jackson's voice murmured softly in his ear "We can just sleep if you're not ready for anything more... I just wanna be close to you... That'd be enough for me."

"No..." Aaron answered, turning in the older man's arms. The dim glow from the street lamp outside was barely enough to see by, but it was sufficient to look Jackson in the eye "That's not what I want..."

"Oh." the builder said, failing to mask his disappointment "Wow... I got that one wrong didn't I?" he continued ruefully as he made to pull away.

"No!" the mechanic exclaimed, grabbing his arms to stop him moving off "I meant... I don't want to just sleep... I... I want more. It's just... I've never done this before. With a bloke I mean... And I didn't exactly have a huge amount of experience with girls before either... I have no idea what to do! I don't want to disappoint you!"

Jackson stilled at his touch and he could just make out a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Is that what you're worrying about? Aaron... There's just no possible way that I'm gunna be disappointed!" the older man reassured.

"But what if I'm rubbish!" the teenager burst out, unable to contain his anxiety any longer.

"Then we'll get to have a hell of a lot of fun practising won't we?" the builder joked.

An overwhelming surge of affection for the older man welled up inside him and Aaron laughed, feeling some of the tension drain away. Trust Jackson to know what to say to stop his head going off on one. As he relaxed he became aware of just how closely he'd pressed himself up against the builder. He could feel the heat of his body blazing through his t-shirt like midsummer sunlight, smell the spicy, citrusy tang of his aftershave, hear his breath rasping excitedly from his mouth.

Jackson's assault on his senses, combined with the emotional rush he was feeling was too much for Aaron to bear. Tightening his arms around his boyfriend, he claimed his mouth in a fevered kiss, moaning in pleasure as Jackson willingly reciprocated, their tongues raking over one another, teeth nipping at lips. But it wasn't enough, he wanted more. His hands suddenly seemed to have a mind of their own, pushing off the builder's jacket, running through his hair, clutching at his muscular back, squeezing his arse through his jeans, gripping his biceps, and all the while the searing kiss went on and on and on.

It still wasn't enough. Aaron sobbed with frustration as his body thrummed with needs that he didn't know how to fulfil, nothing in his previous experience having prepared him for this escalating spiral of desire and lust. With Victoria and Holly it had been an effort to even appear to be interested in the physical side of the relationship. Now he was so overwhelmed with wanting to feel more that he thought his body might actually catch fire and burn itself to ash if he didn't get closer to Jackson soon.

Thankfully the older man must've had similar feelings as he suddenly pulled away from their kiss, yanking his own shirt off before swiftly pulling the teenager's up and over his head. The moment the material was gone their lips crashed back together and for the first time Aaron found himself pressed skin-to-skin against another male torso. This was what his body had wanted so badly, Jackson squeezed so tightly in his arms that there wasn't even a millimetres gap between them. Firm muscle sliding against firm muscle they seemed to fit together perfectly, bodies so close that it felt like they were practically merging together.

Aaron felt like he was falling and it was only a split second before he landed on the bed that he realised that he actually was. Jackson had managed to catch himself on his elbows to avoid crushing him and in the dim light could just be seen grinning down at him. This just wasn't good enough. He wanted to be able to see his boyfriend properly, to look him in the eye as they they touched and kissed, and yes, to finally see exactly what he had hidden under his clothes! Fantasising about Jackson naked was all well and good, but now he had the opportunity to experience the real thing he was damn well going to get a decent view! With a quick grab and roll he flipped the surprised builder onto his back with a grunt, freeing himself to stand up.

"Aaron?" the older man asked hesitantly, obviously worried that he was making a run for it.

"I'm fine, I'll just be a second!" the mechanic reassured as he hurried around the bed to close the curtains, blocking out what little light had been making it into the room.

"You sure you're okay?" Jackson continued not sounding convinced.

"Yeah " Aaron answered, stumbling blindly back to fumble with the bedside light "Just want to be able to see you is all."

"Oh... Good."

The teenager froze with his fingers on the switch. He didn't need to be able to see the smirk on his boyfriend's face, he could hear it plain as day in his voice.

"Why good?" he asked suspiciously.

"Cos then I'll be able to see you too!" came a happy sounding response.

"Sounds like you come off worse in that deal!" Aaron laughed.

"Nah," the builder replied "My boyfriend's way hotter than your boyfriend!"

"Oh aye?" the younger man smiled at Jackson as he flicked on the lamp.

The older man looked him critically up and down "Hmm... Actually for once I think you might be right, your boyfriend _is_ better looking than mine." he said thoughtfully, trying hard but failing to keep a cheeky grin off his face.

The quip was completely wasted on Aaron whose attention was focused elsewhere entirely. When the light had come on it had taken a second for his eyes to adjust, but when they had it felt like some vital part of his brain needed for rational thought had blown a fuse. Jackson wasn't just fit, he was _Fit_!

Was he drooling? God he hoped he wasn't drooling... It wouldn't surprise him if he was though, his mouth certainly seemed to be watering at the sight in front of him. Jackson was lying back with the lower half of his legs dangling off the edge of the bed and had propped himself up on his forearms so that he could look at Aaron. The result was that the teenager now had a perfect view of his half naked body. Golden skin glowed in the soft light, stretched taut over toned muscle. Despite having run his hands over that body on numerous occasions, he hadn't realised quite how defined Jackson would look once his shirt was off. His gaze darted from the thick swell of the builder's biceps, to the solid slabs of his pecs, to the firm wave of his abs arrowing downwards to disappear beneath the waistband of his jeans, dragging his eyes along with them. The tight denim left very little to the imagination, a thick ridge in the material stretching to his hip clearly displaying the older man's arousal.

"Earth to Aaron!" Jackson's voice intruded on his little moment.

"Hmm?" he replied hazily, still staring and still feeling slightly stunned.

"Whatcha doin?" the builder asked with a smirk that clearly indicated he knew exactly what his boyfriend had been doing.

"Nothing!" the teenage said, hastily dragging his eyes back to Jackson's face, cursing his treacherous body as he felt his cheeks heating at the lie.

"Ooookay... Well when you're done perving-"

"I weren't perving!" Aaron interrupted.

The older man just raised and eyebrow at that, the smirk still firmly in place.

"I was... Appreciating that's all." the mechanic conceded blushing even more furiously than before.

"Riiiiiiight... Well when you're done _appreciating_ maybe you could see your way clear to getting your arse over here so's I can kiss you?"

He didn't need to be asked twice. Climbing on top of Jackson, Aaron settled himself comfortably as their lips met once more. Their kiss started off slow, sweet and tender, each of them welcoming the other back after the brief separation caused by Aaron getting up, but it took neither of them long to increase the heat. Stubble rasped against stubble, teeth clashed and tongues fought for dominance as passion consumed them.

As the minutes and the kisses stretched on, Aaron lost himself in the feelings pouring in from all parts of his body... The sharp pleasure as Jackson's fingernails scratched down his back; the minty/beery/cinnamony taste of the builder's tongue in his mouth; the electric jolt of a sensitive nipple brushing soft skin stretched over hard muscle... It was intoxicating. It was as his brain analysed all these new sensations that he realised the unfamiliar pressure at his hip was the other man's erection pushing into his body, and he couldn't resist grinding his own against it. He hadn't thought he could possibly get any harder than he'd been up until then, but the friction his movements caused proved him wrong. He was almost painfully aroused now, light-headed as though blood meant for his brain was being redirected south, hips gyrating madly as he crushed his pelvis against Jackson's. He was so close to the edge, so desperate for release that he didn't care that they hadn't even got completely naked... He just wanted to come so badly that he couldn't hold back.

"Aaron stop!"

Jackson's strangled cry cut through the thick cloud of lust fogging his brain. He froze... Had that been pain in the older man's voice? He jumped to his feet suddenly terrified that in his excitement he'd hurt Jackson in some way. Looking down he saw the builder gasping for breath, eyes wide in a face flushed scarlet.

"What's wrong? Are you okay? I'm sorry! What did I do?" he asked in a rush, anxiety clear in his words.

The older man made a sound that would probably have been a laugh if he hadn't been panting so hard.

"Nothing's...wrong!" he wheezed "You were... You were just... Gunna make me... Come in my pants!"

The mechanic glared at him for a second before crossly slapping him on the thigh.

"You scared the crap outta me! I thought I'd hurt ya!" he exclaimed.

"Sorry!" Jackson replied apologetically, finally getting his breath back "I just needed ya to stop! I really didn't wanted it to be over quite so soon! God... That's not happened to me since I were a teenager!" he laughed "And there was you thinking you might disappoint me! Told ya that were a daft idea!"

Aaron tried to maintain his scowl, but at Jackson's words it soon faltered before melting away completely, leaving a shy smile in its wake. Maybe his inexperience wouldn't ruin the night after all.

-x-x-

Jackson lay on the bed watching his boyfriend trying to look annoyed and failing miserably. In the end he seemed to give up the effort and just stood there looking bashfully down at his feet. God but Aaron was the most adorable man he'd ever met. There was just something about that aggro/vulnerable combination the younger man had going on that got right under his skin. It was still a marvel to him that the glowering, antisocial youth you might see wandering about the village was the same person who, behind closed doors, could melt your heart with that uncertain, anxious smile. Hardly anyone but him got to see that smile, and he was absolutely positive that nobody else got to see it whilst Aaron was half naked and apparently completely unaware that his trackie bottoms were doing an excellent impression of a circus tent!

The teenager was just so beautiful... Jackson knew that he'd hate to be described that way, thinking it sounded girly. If he could ever learn to take a compliment he'd probably prefer handsome or hot or fit, and he was all of those for sure, but there was just something about him that couldn't be described as anything other than beauty, despite the fact that with his short cropped hair, strong jaw and dark stubble there was certainly nothing girly about him. It took the builder's breath away just to look at him.

Jackson had had enough. His resolve to be a good little boyfriend had been wearing down quickly these past few days, and now lying here with Aaron topless just a couple of feet away, there was just no way that he could hold himself back any more. It was time to be naughty! He gazed admiringly at his boyfriend's tight, toned torso, muscles pushing smoothly out under pale skin, and he knew that he wanted to see and touch the rest, needed Aaron naked right now.

He pushed himself to his feet and closed the gap between them. The mechanic looked up at him and seemed about to say something, but before he could open his mouth Jackson pulled him in for a brutal kiss. He poured all the lust and desire and need that he'd felt for Aaron over the months that he'd known him into that kiss and it took only a few seconds before he felt the younger man returned it in kind. It was the most incendiary experience of his entire life, like being trapped in a fire storm, blood boiling in his veins. He was ready, and he could tell from the way that the teenager was groaning into his mouth that Aaron was ready too.

Breaking away from the mechanics lips, he began kissing and nipping a path along Aaron's jaw, then down his neck, wrenching a cry from the teenager's throat as he sucked and licked at the tender skin. Continuing his explorations, he moved lower to bite gently on the fleshy muscle of one shoulder, while at the same time his fingers began to stroke and play with the younger man's nipples, feeling them quickly harden into peaks as he lightly pinched at them.

Aaron's breath was coming in ragged pants as Jackson continued his assault, and he whimpered softly as the builder trailed his hands down his flanks, tickling and teasing the sensitive skin as his mouth continued to work wonders on it travels across his body. Dropping to his knees, Jackson dragged his chin over the younger man's stomach, the rasp of stubble causing the mechanic to moan his name. Looking up he was met by wide, excited eyes watching him, sky blue irises just a thin ring surrounding pupils dilated hugely with desire.

Reaching out Jackson grasped the soft material of his boyfriend's trackie bottoms, lowering his gaze from Aaron's face as he pulled them down, wanting to get a good look at his prize. He smirked to himself as he realised that the mechanic wasn't wearing any underwear... No wonder he'd been tenting so impressively! Finally, the jogging pants pulled free and fell to the floor under their own weight, leaving Jackson with a thoroughly mouthwatering view. He chewed on his lower lip appreciatively... Looked like he'd have to add an inch or two to his fantasy Aaron if he was going to do justice to the real thing!

He'd wanted to take his time, to go slow and savour the moment, but faced with the solid length of Aaron's cock, a glistening pearl of moisture already beading at the tip, he simply couldn't resist any longer. It seemed to have taken them forever to get to this point in their relationship, but now it was the work of a mere moment for Jackson to slide his boyfriend's throbbing erection into his mouth, sucking hard as he swirled his tongue over and around the length of him. Aaron cried out, caught by surprise by the builder's sudden move. His legs shuddered and he had to lean on Jackson's shoulders to stop himself falling down.

"Jacks- ahh! Jackson wait! Slow down!" the teenager gasped out.

The older man had no intention of slowing down, he'd wanted this for so long that now it was happening he couldn't have stopped even if he'd wanted to. The taste of his lover on his tongue was driving him crazy, making his head bob faster up and down, the thick shaft now slick with his saliva. He took it in as far as he could go before drawing back until his lips teased the swollen head for a second, only to slide forward again to repeat the motion.

"Gah! Jackson please!" Aaron begged "Stop! I can't..." he moaned.

But Jackson couldn't stop. Wouldn't stop. He could feel the tension racking up in the mechanic's body and knew what was about to happen. He couldn't wait, had dreamed about this moment.

"Jackson stop! I'm gunna...gunna... JACKSON!" the teenager cried as his orgasm struck.

Jackson felt Aaron's cock jerk once, twice against his lips, and then he groaned as his mouth was suddenly awash with salty-sweet fluid. He swallowed as quickly as possible but it just seemed to keep coming so to speak, and he felt some dribbling down his chin. Seemed like Aaron didn't do anything by halves! He kept gently sucking on his lover until he started to soften, savouring the taste of him and the sensation of the velvety shaft in his mouth, listening to the deep gasping breaths coming from above as Aaron came down from his high.

It came as a shock when the teenager suddenly pulled away from him and began scrabbling desperately to get his trackie bottoms back on.

"Aaron? What's wrong?" he asked, but the mechanic didn't answer, wouldn't even look at him.

Jackson pushed himself to his feet and grabbed his boyfriend by the arm, worried now.

"Aaron! Talk to me, please!" he begged.

The younger man turned towards him then and he was shocked to see tears on his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry Jackson!" the mechanic sobbed, wiping his eyes.

"What for? Aaron I don't understand!"

"I tried not to...to...to... But you wouldn't stop and I couldn't help it! I'm sorry it was over so quickly!" the teenager gulped, trying to turn away.

The builder sighed in relief as he realised what was troubling his lover. He thought that he'd allayed the younger man's fears about letting him down but clearly that wasn't the case. He supposed it was understandable, he could remember how nervous he'd been his first time and how worried he'd been about his performance, and even though he tried to hide it, Aaron was way more insecure than he'd ever been. Still, now that he knew what was wrong he hoped it would be a simple matter to fix. All he needed to do was tell the truth.

"Aaron." he said softly, reaching across to stroke his lovers cheek. That tone of voice had so far never failed to get the mechanic's attention, and it didn't disappoint this time either, as sad blue eyes focused on him nervously.

"I did it on purpose... I knew you were gunna...you know... I wanted you to!" he admitted with a smile.

Aaron stared at him blankly for a few seconds before his face clouded in confusion "Why? I thought you said you wanted it to last?"

Jackson felt his cheeks burning with what he was about to admit "I did... But then when I got your clothes off... I just wanted you so much! And I've dreamt about how you...how you'd taste and I just needed it so badly I couldn't stop myself from finding out!"

"So... So you're not disappointed?" the teenager asked, still looking baffled.

"Hell no!" the older man exclaimed.

"Oh." Aaron said in a small voice "Okay... Now I feel like an idiot."

"Don't." Jackson laughed before kissing him, feeling mechanic melt against him.

"How about we just forget the past couple of minutes and get into bed?" he gasped, pulling back for a second.

"Don't you think you're a little overdressed for that?" the younger man smirked looking at his denim-clad legs.

"Hah! Says you! You planning on going for a midnight run or something?" the builder retorted nodding towards Aaron's jogging bottoms.

The teenager's smirk hitched up a notch and he quickly shucked off his trousers revealing a rapidly rising erection "There ya go, sorted."

"Already?" Jackson snorted, eyeing the hardening column of flesh admiringly, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

"What d'you expect? I'm a teenage boy with wicked hot boyfriend, sue me!" Aaron laughed turning to throw himself face down on the bed and stretching obscenely.

The older man groaned as he got his first look at the younger man naked from behind. He had awesome legs... Thick and muscular with a dusting of dark, silky looking hairs... But it was his arse that drew his attention more than anything. Firm, round and smooth... He just wanted to pry those cheeks apart and sink his throbbing cock into Aaron's body, wanted it so badly it hurt. Squeezing his eyes shut he took several deep breaths, trying to banish the thought from his mind. It was pointless fantasising about; there was more chance of him getting elected pope than there was of ever getting to do that, everything about Aaron practically screamed 'top'!

Feeling that he'd calmed enough now he blinked, only to find sapphire eyes watching him curiously.

"You okay?" the mechanic asked.

"Yeah... Yeah I'm fine." he replied with a smile, trying his best not to let his gaze wander down the body stretched out before him like some sort of pagan offering.

"Cool." Aaron grinned back "Soooo... You just going to stand there all night or is there any chance you'll recognise an invitation when ya see one and hurry up and fuck me?"

Jackson felt his smile freeze on his face. Great... Now he was hearing things as well as going off into erotic daydreams. Either that or he'd slipped through a tear in the space-time continuum and ended up in some seriously messed up parallel universe. Actually that would make sense as he was fairly sure that in a normal world it was Aaron who was supposed to be nervous and hesitant, not him.

"Err..." was the only thing that he could think of to say.

The younger man's eyes widened "Oh! Do you... Do you not do that?" he asked suddenly sounding unsure of himself.

"Yes!" Jackson exclaimed "I mean no! I mean... Yeah I do do that." he finished feeling even more confused than ever.

"So what's the problem?" the teenager asked, his brows drawn together questioningly "Is it... Is it just that you don't wanna... That you don't want to fuck me?"

"NO!" the builder yelped then cleared his throat "I mean no." he said in a more level tone of voice "I definitely would not mind doing that at all, but... Well it's just a bit of a surprise... I figured you were joking..."

"Nope." Aaron smiled shyly up at him "I want you to... Don't think it'd be fair if you're the only one that gets to fulfil one of his dreams tonight."

Jackson could hardly believe what he was hearing. That Aaron wanted him to fuck him was difficult enough to imagine, but that he was admitting that he'd thought about it, even dreamed about it was inconceivable. Definitely a parallel universe... Still, it was a very nice parallel universe he decided as his eyes roamed over his boyfriend's naked body lying there waiting for him. He just needed to make certain...

"Are you sure? I mean it's a huge step and this is your first time and everything... We really don't have to do this."

Aaron looked him in the eye, all seriousness.

"I don't do anything I don't wanna do." he said simply.

Jackson had his jeans and boxers off, and had flipped Aaron over and stretched out on top of him before either of them really knew what was happening. It felt so good to finally lie together without the barrier of clothing between them, that they just lay there for several long minutes, kissing passionately, grinding against one another, legs and arms tangling together. Soon enough thought the fires were stoked high enough that they both wanted more. It was Aaron who broke the kiss and gasped his desire against his lovers lips.

"Jackson... Please, I don't wanna wait any longer, I... I want you inside me..."

"You got any lube? Condoms?" the older man growled.

"Bedside drawer." the mechanic answered.

The builder quickly retrieved the necessary supplies and scooted down the bed to settle himself between Aaron's legs. The teenager looked down at him with a puzzled expression.

"What ya doing?" he asked curiously.

"Err... Getting you ready?" Jackson answered glancing up.

"Can't you just... You know... Get on with it?" the younger man queried with a frown.

"Not unless you want it to hurt. A lot!" the builder laughed.

"Oh... Well hurry up." Aaron groused with a sigh.

"Patience young grasshopper, patience."

"Ya what?"

"Just shut up and bend yer knees!" Jackson laughed.

The teenager rolled his eyes but did as he was told.

As Jackson started to get his lover ready he watched him carefully for any signs of discomfort. As he slowly slid in a well lubricated finger, Aaron gasped and his body tensed. The builder immediately stopped what he was doing and waited.

"You okay there?" he asked.

"Yeah... Just feels a bit... Odd..." Aaron replied.

"Just relax... It might hurt a little bit at first but nothing a big strong man like you can't handle!"

After a minute he felt the teenager settle down and he continued. It wasn't long before he was rhythmically pushing and pulling one finger in and out of Aaron's body and the younger man was starting to squirm and gasp on the bed. Jackson smiled to himself... The younger man was so responsive to his touch, there wasn't going to be any difficulty telling if he was enjoying himself!

"You like that?" he murmured.

"Yeah." the mechanic gasped "Feels nice..."

'Nice? Nice?' the older man thought to himself indignantly, he could do better than nice... Crooking his finger slightly he searched for that special spot... He'd show Aaron nice! It didn't take long to find. Aaron cried out, his back arching off the bed as his hands gripped convulsively at the sheets. Jackson smirked contentedly to himself and stopped stroking against the teenager's prostate.

"Ja... Jackson?" a shaky voice sounded from higher up the bed.

"Hmm?"

"Could... Could you do that again?"

"Do what again?" he asked looking innocently up into the wide blue eyes staring down at him.

Aaron's mouth opened and closed making him look like a goldfish, obviously having no idea how to describe what had just happened. The older man couldn't stop the smile tugging at his lips and his lover dropped his head back onto the bed with a groan, clearly realising that Jackson knew exactly what he'd done.

"You know I hate you right?" the teenager muttered.

The builder rubbed his finger over the sweet spot again, eliciting another bout of strangled moans from his boyfriend.

"You hate me? Really?" he asked putting on a hurt voice.

"N...n...no." Aaron choked out.

Jackson grinned and inserted a second finger into his lover, starting to stretch him in preparation for fucking him. He was getting impatient now, the sounds that Aaron was making from just being fingered were arousing him beyond words. He couldn't wait to hear him when his cock was buried inside him.

It wasn't much longer before he had three fingers on the go and the teenager was getting as impatient as he was.

"Jackson please! I'm ready! Just do me!" the younger man ground out.

He prayed that he'd done enough because there was no way he could resist a plea like that even if he hadn't been as turned on as he was in that moment.

"Okay." he breathed "Turn over."

"Why?" Aaron asked looking at him anxiously.

"It'll be easier on you if you're on your front." the builder explained.

"But... I want to see you whilst you... Whilst you do it." the mechanic stuttered with a blush.

Jackson gulped. He didn't want to hurt his lover, but the thought of seeing Aaron's beautiful blue eyes watching him as he fucked him was too much to resist.

"Okay... But if it hurts tell me and we'll do it a different way yeah?"

The younger man nodded, a dazzling smile breaking out across his face.

The builder got to his feet and dragged Aaron around on the bed so that his bum was almost hanging off the edge before lifting him up to slide a couple of pillows under his lower back. Quickly slipping on a condom and applying a generous amount of lube, he shifted the teenager's ankles onto his shoulders before getting himself into position.

"You sure about this?" he asked nervously, afraid that the answer would be no.

"What do you think?" Aaron replied sounding exasperated.

Jackson took a moment to look at his boyfriend. His skin was flushed and glistened with sweat; his cock was literally throbbing, jerking against the hard ridged planes of his abs in time to his beating heart; his kiss-swollen lips were parted in excitement, breath rasping in and out over straight white teeth; eyes glittering with lust and want and need stared back at him silently begging him to get on with it. Oh yes, Aaron was most definitely sure!

He inched forward, the tip of his rock hard erection pressing against his lover. There was a moment's resistance and then suddenly he breached the entrance. Both men gasped at the sensation, Aaron at the sudden burning pain, Jackson at the hot clench of muscle suddenly clutching at the head of his cock.

Seeing the teenager's face scrunched up, the builder knew that he was hurting. He rubbed the muscular thighs beneath his hands and made soothing noises.

"Hey... Hey... Just relax... Deep breaths... The pain'll pass in a minute."

He watched as his lover slowly became accustomed to the intrusion, his face smoothing out once more, eyes opening and finally a rueful grin forming on his lips.

"Sorry. Wasn't expecting it to feel quite like that!"

"No need to apologise! You're doing way better than I did my first time! You feeling okay now?"

"Yeah... Ready for more!"

Jackson smiled down at him and ever so slowly eased himself further inside his lover. The feeling was incredible as inch by inch Aaron's body accepted him in. It was so incredibly tight, he'd never felt anything like it before, and the heat... God it was like sliding his cock into a furnace. He had to grit his teeth to stop himself slamming forward, knowing he had to take it easy to begin with. He'd expected the younger man to have tensed up again by now, but he showed no signs of discomfort, in fact his head was thrown back and he was panting in a way which could only indicate enjoyment. Full of surprises as ever it seemed!

Finally he was buried to the hilt and he took a moment to relax, adjusting to the feel of Aaron's body surrounding him. Soon though he wanted more and he tentatively pulled back about half way before sliding in once again. He repeated the action again and again, each time withdrawing a little more before pushing all the way back in, always careful to keep the thrusts slow and smooth. A couple of minutes of this though and he thought he might go insane if he didn't speed up so he increased the pace a little. It was then that Aaron started to moan and move his hips in time to his motions. He almost bit through his tongue and the sight of it.

He began to move faster and the teenager matched his speed, angling himself to allow maximum penetration... The young man was a natural! He could feel the spring of his orgasm tightening in his groin and he shifted his angle slightly so that he was now hitting Aaron's prostate with every stroke. The mechanic practically lifted off the bad with a yell, glazed eyes fixed on Jackson as his white knuckled fists tore the sheet beneath him in half. He was making an almost constant keening noise which rose and fell in time to the builder's cock plunging in and out of him.

Jackson knew that he wouldn't last much longer, the sight of his insanely aroused lover and the feel of Aaron's internal muscles milking his cock was getting too much to bear. He went to grasp the teenager's throbbing shaft, but before he could even reach it, Aaron let out an almighty groan and a thick stream of milky fluid erupted out of him, spurt after spurt spraying across his chest and stomach. He'd never ever fucked anyone to orgasm without touching them and that, plus the sudden vice-like tightening around his own erection drove him over the edge. Fireworks went off behind his eyes as his body shuddered again and again in ecstasy. All he could do was hold on tight and ride the wave, relying on clinging to Aaron's legs to stop from keeling over.

A minute or so later he slowly came back to himself and realised he was shaking. God but he needed to lie down. Gently disengaging himself from his lover he grabbed a towel off the floor and quickly cleaned himself up a bit before turning his attention to Aaron. The younger man hadn't moved, he was just lying there staring at the ceiling, chest heaving, still trying to catch his breath. Jackson tenderly wiped him clean, shaking his head in amusement at the shredded sheets, before shifting him round so that he was lying properly on the bed. He dropped the towel on the floor and climbed onto the mattress to lie next to the mechanic.

Aaron finally moved then, rolling onto his side to fit himself along Jackson's body, head lying on his chest, one leg thrown across the older man's thighs, a hand stroking gently across his stomach. The builder wrapped his arms protectively around his boyfriend and released a sigh of contentment.

"How you feeling?" he asked the teenager.

"Happy." Aaron answered in a small voice filled with wonder. 

_Please review! They keep me writing!_


	21. Chapter 21

_Just a teeny tiny little chapter as a thank you to everyone who said such nice things about the last one :)_

**Chapter 21**

Aaron lay listening to Jackson's heart beating steadily beneath his ear. Half an hour ago the older man's breathing has evened out, his body relaxing as he'd drifted off to sleep. Aaron couldn't sleep though; he was way too wired to even close his eyes for more than thirty seconds at a time.

Moving carefully so as not to disturb his lover, the teenager slipped out of the arms that encircled him and sat gingerly on the edge of the bed. He ached in all sorts of unusual places, but not unpleasantly so, it just made him remember exactly what he and Jackson had been doing only a short while ago. And _that_ made him grin to himself like an idiot.

He'd done it. He'd actually had sex with a bloke. And it had been great… Better than great actually, it had been fantastic. He still couldn't quite believe it. The way that everyone seemed to go on about it, you grew up expecting sex to be some amazing thing. But when he'd been with Victoria and Holly it had just felt weird and uncomfortable, it hadn't even been fun. Yeah he'd gotten off, but he could've done that on his own without all the awkwardness that seemed to come with sleeping with a girl… It had just seemed wrong somehow, and he knew from the way that they'd looked at him afterwards that they had felt it too.

But tonight… He was still buzzing from it even now. He finally understood all those stupid sayings about the earth moving and seeing god. Not that he would ever use such cheesy lines himself. But there was no denying that the world seemed somehow different. Getting to his feet he went to the window, drew back the curtain and looked out over the darkened village. It had started to rain, but there was the phone box same as ever, same buildings, same trees, same sky... Everything was the same. So why did it feel like he was seeing it all for the first time?

Looking back over his shoulder he could see the shadowy shape of his boyfriend stretched out on the bed, oblivious to this strange new world around them. Aaron felt himself smile tenderly at the sleeping figure and it was that tiny action that made him realise just what had changed. It was him. The world was the same as ever but he was different. It wasn't hard to figure out what it was about himself that was different, he'd even said it to Jackson earlier without realising what it really meant. He was happy. Not the sort of 'my team won the footie' happy, or the 'someone just bought me a pint' kind, this was something he'd never felt before. He was happy in himself happy.

For the first time in as long as he could remember he couldn't hear those nagging voices in his head telling him that he was worthless, that nobody wanted him, that being gay was disgusting and wrong. Jackson must think that he was worth something because Jackson, who could have any man he chose, wanted _him_. And how he felt when they were together, how he felt after what they'd done tonight... Well there was no way he could ever think that that was anything other than completely right.

Climbing back into bed he curled up by Jackson's side, finally feeling at peace. Here in the darkness with the rain gently pattering against the window and his lover breathing softly beside him, he could at last accept who and what he was. Maybe the feeling wouldn't last, but for now at least it was enough.


	22. Chapter 22

_Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews on the last couple of chapters! They've been helping to combat my Emmerdale blues so really mean a lot! xx_

**Chapter 22**

Jackson moaned in despair as the light became too much to ignore. God but mornings were horrible; they were the universe's way of letting him know that it hated him. Rolling over he reached out for Aaron and came up with a big fat armful of nothing. He cracked open bleary eyes to stare nonplussed at the empty strip of mattress that should by rights be full of warm, naked boyfriend. How was he supposed to cuddle him if he wasn't there?

The builder stretched, wincing slightly as muscles that he'd forgotten he even owned twinged in protest. The aches brought a smile to his face as he remembered what he'd got up to to cause them. Aaron certainly was full of surprises.

Last night it had been as if all his Christmases had come at once. He'd expected the younger man to be hesitant and to want to take things slowly, and true, there'd been a couple of difficult moments, but mostly to Jackson it felt as though he'd been hit by a tornado. He would have sworn that the teenager must've sprouted at least one extra pair of hands and lips.

When he finally managed to drag a coherent thought together, he'd made certain to reassure Aaron that they didn't have to do anything. The response had been quite emphatic that they were damn well going to do something and that they were going to do it properly. And so they had, Jackson recalled with a smirk. Afterwards, both worn out and feeling incredibly relaxed, Aaron had snuggled up so close to him that it wouldn't have made any difference if they'd had a king sized bed instead of just a single. The builder still couldn't quite get his head round that bit... Even having experienced it, the words 'Aaron' and 'snuggle' seemed fundamentally incompatible, but there was just no other way to describe it. The man certainly was a mass of contradictions! A beautiful, sexy, gorgeous mass of contradictions...

The images of last night flooding through his mind kicked started his brain, along with other parts of his body making him groan with frustration that his boyfriend wasn't in bed where he ought to be. Where the hell was he anyway? Jackson prayed that he hadn't woken up freaking out over what had happened and pulled one of his famous vanishing acts. The thought that last night might turn out to be a one off was almost enough to make him cry... What if he'd scared Aaron off? Damn it! He knew he should have waited! Why had he allowed himself to give in to his desires? The builder was just about to jump out of bed to go find the teenager, apologise, and if necessary beg for forgiveness, when the door opened and Aaron tip-toed in carrying a couple of mugs. The younger man froze when he saw Jackson gazing at him from the bed.

"You're awake!" he said sounding slightly disappointed "Thought you'd be out for a while yet. I made you a cup of tea... Was gunna be a surprise for when you woke up." the mechanic added with a blush.

The older man just stared at him, his mouth gone dry. The sight of Aaron standing there clad in just a pair of boxers, his pale skin aglow in the morning sunlight seemed to have robbed him of his ability to speak.

"Err... If tea's not okay I could make you a coffee instead? I mean it's not like I know what you prefer in the mornings or anything; I just made tea cos that's what I like myself. Not that I don't like coffee cos I do. Just tea first thing usually... I should've waited 'til you were awake shouldn't I? Sorry." the mechanic rambled nervously trying to fill the silence.

"Put those down." Jackson whispered hoarsely.

Aaron frowned slightly, looking both anxious and puzzled, but moved to place the mugs on the bedside table. As soon as his hands were free of the handles, the builder grabbed him and pulled him down onto the bed causing him to yelp in surprise. Before he knew it the teenager was lying on his back with a very naked Jackson straddling him. His eyes raked over his boyfriend's slim, muscular body before settling on the two deep brown pools that glittered in the face hovering above his own.

"Hi..." he said breathlessly.

"I missed you." the older man murmured.

"I've only been gone a few minutes!" Aaron laughed.

"Thought you'd done a runner..." the builder answered shyly.

The mechanic's expression softened "Why would I run away from this?" he asked gently trailing his fingers down Jackson's face "Was hard enough just getting up to go downstairs."

"Hard?" the older man asked with a smirk.

Aaron's eyes were dragged southward and he gulped visibly.

"Yeah... Hard..." he replied huskily.

"Well you're back now, that's all that matters." Jackson said before swooping down to kiss the younger man for all his worth.

On the bedside table two mugs of tea slowly went cold.

-x-x-

"Yuck! This tea's cold!" Jackson complained with a grimace.

"Well you should've drunk it when I brought it up shouldn't you?" Aaron mumbled lazily.

The older man looked down at him with a smile "I was busy… Ya know, a decent boyfriend would go make me a fresh one..."

"Well don't let me stop ya from finding yerself one then... And if ee's got any fit mates ask 'im to send 'em my way." the teenager replied as he stretched and yawned.

"Pah! As if you could find anyone better than me!" the builder laughed.

"Maybe not… But now I know what I'm doing I'm sure I'd 'ave a lot of fun trying!" Aaron replied with a mischievous grin.

"Don't you dare! Think I'll just put up with lack of tea if it means I get ya all to meself!"

Sparkling blue eyes looked up at him seriously from the pillow "I wouldn't… I… I've got everything I could ever want right here."

Jackson felt his heart skip a beat. These were the moments he lived for, when Aaron was totally open and honest about his feelings, showing that side of himself that only he got to see. They were few and far between but each was a gift he treasured above all others. It wasn't just what the younger man would say in these moments that was so special, it was the fact that he only said them to him and nobody else… It let him know just how much the teenager cared. And selfish as it may be he really didn't want to share that kind, sweet, secret Aaron with the rest of the world. Sliding down so that he was face-to-face with the younger man, Jackson gathered him into his arms and hugged him tightly.

"Me too." he whispered as he felt Aaron melt against him.

-x-x-

Paddy staggered up the hill towards home. He was never drinking again. Never ever ever. Last night had not gone as planned. He'd intended on staying in the pub until close, then going over to Marlon's to watch a DVD before heading back to Smithy.

Unfortunately he'd had a couple too many pints in the Woolie, so that when an equally drunk Marlon had discovered a bottle of the damson gin Zak had brewed up in his shed a couple of years ago, it had seemed like a smashing idea to give it a try. The next thing the vet knew he was waking up with Daisy licking him in the ear, sunlight stabbing him in the eyes like shards of broken glass, and a taste in his mouth like something small and furry had crawled into it in the night and promptly died, possibly having relieved itself before it did so.

Operating on autopilot he managed to let himself out of the house before stumbling through the village, the prospects of a shower, his bed and above all else a toothbrush, drawing him on like a siren's song. And now he could see his front door. He'd never realised quite how much he loved that door until now… Behind it lay glorious things beyond the wildest dreams of mankind… Like tea! And fresh water! And, and, and… Bacon sandwiches! At the thought of food his stomach gave a huge heave and the vet had to lean heavily against the phone box to avoid falling flat on his face…

"Okay, bacon sandwiches are bad. Very, very bad. No bacon sandwiches for Paddy." he muttered to the morning air.

After a minute he felt recovered enough to continue his journey and finally reached the blessed safety of the doorstep. Fumbling with his keys it took him several attempts to get the door open, but the vast sense of accomplishment he felt as he crossed the threshold made the effort worthwhile. Home sweet home.

He considered making himself a cup of tea, but his epic trek from Marlon's house had left him feeling worn out and grimy so he decided on a shower first to wake himself up a bit. Climbing to the top of the stairs he groaned when he realised that he could already hear the water running in the bathroom. Muttering under his breath about inconsiderate teenagers and the ridiculousness of being stuck with one who against all reason was actually awake and out of bed at this time on a Saturday morning, Paddy tramped back downstairs to make his tea.

Twenty minutes later, with Aaron still not out of the shower, the vet had had enough. He felt absolutely horrible and all he wanted was to get clean and to collapse into bed for a couple of hours. Surely that wasn't too much to ask? Getting to his feet he stomped back up to the landing intending on hammering on the bathroom door and demanding that the teenager hurry up. He had just raised his hand to knock when the door flew open releasing a cloud of steam and two towel-wrapped young men who were obviously much more interested in each other than the world around them. Paddy had to leap out of the way to avoid a collision as Jackson backed out of the room with a giggling Aaron falling along after him.

"Watch it!" the vet exclaimed.

The pair jumped, the builder spinning round in surprise. Seeing the older man standing there frowning at them, he grinned sheepishly.

"Alright Paddy?" he asked cheerily, a slight blush of his cheeks the only sign of any embarrassment at the situation. Aaron on the other hand had turned the colour of a beetroot and was busily trying to hide behind his boyfriend, only visible as a pair of eyes peeking out over Jackson's shoulder.

The vet would have laughed if he didn't have the hangover from hell. Instead the best he could muster was a weak smile and a shrug.

"I'm feeling a little… Under the weather actually." he answered sorrowfully "I hope you've not used all the hot water…" he added glancing into the still steam filled bathroom without much hope.

"Ah." the builder said looking awkward "Well… We'll just get out from under yer feet then." he continued as the two of them backed towards Aaron's bedroom "Hope you feel better soon!" he added before they disappeared through the doorway.

Paddy sighed and went to switch the boiler on just in case. The last thing he needed was a cold shower, unlike certain individuals he could mention…


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Over a week they'd managed now. Ten perfect days where they hadn't spent a night apart. Well... Maybe perfect was a bit strong a description Jackson thought to himself as he watched village life go by from the window. They'd had a few minor disagreements just like any couple, and given that Aaron was one half of this particular couple, they'd also had a blazing row.

When the mood took him the teenager would argue if you told him that the sky was blue, and that morning he had definitely been in the mood. Finding they'd run out of milk after pouring himself a bowl of cornflakes had set the younger man off, and before Jackson knew what was happening they were screaming at one another across the kitchen table. Aaron had stormed out of the house, slamming the door hard enough to rattle the windows, and neither of them had spoken to the other for the rest of the day, even when they'd both chosen to have their lunch in the Woolie. They'd sat at separate tables, pointedly ignoring one another whilst the other patrons stared and gossiped about them.

After work that evening, Jackson had sat in his boyfriend's bedroom wondering whether he should just head home before Aaron got back from the garage, thinking that maybe they needed some time apart. After all, this was the mechanic's first relationship with another man and things had gotten pretty intense very quickly.

He was still trying to decide what to do for the best when Aaron had come through the door. The younger man had stood there looking at him uncertainly for a moment before crossing the room to stand in front of him. The builder had watched him with a carefully blank expression, curious as to what he might do. It had come as a complete surprise when he'd held out a grimy, oil stained hand clutching a small bunch of tiny, pale blue flowers. Jackson had tentatively taken the bouquet and given his boyfriend a questioning look. The teenager had looked shyly at him and murmured "Sorry for being such a twat." And with that the fight had been over and they'd spent the next couple of hours vigorously making up.

Jackson smiled at the memory and turned away from the window. He hoped Aaron would be finished in the bathroom soon, they were supposed to meet Adam and Scarlett in the pub at eight and it was nearly half seven already. The teenager had been going to work early and staying late every day since he'd started back at the garage, hoping to earn some extra cash. The time off he'd had to take when injured had left him pretty much penniless. The builder was glad that they were working next door to each other so he could see him throughout the day, otherwise he knew that he'd be missing his boyfriend.

He was sorting through his stuff which had collected in the bedroom over the past week or so, thinking that he'd have to head back to his flat soon to pick up a few more things, when a damp looking Aaron trudged in wearing only a towel. The teenager flopped face down on to the bed and lay there unmoving. The builder wandered over and gently poked his him in the shoulder.

"Come on lazy bones! You've got to get ready or we're gunna be late!"

"Too tired. Leave me alone." came a reply muffled by the duvet.

"They're your mates and it was you that invited them out! You've got to go!" Jackson laughed.

Aaron swivelled his head to fix the older man with a glare "I only asked Adam! It were your bright idea to 'ave 'im to bring Scarlett! I hate her and she hates me!"

"No you don't, and I'm sure she doesn't either! And anyways, I quite like Scarlett, she's fun! And if you end up chatting to Adam about cars all night again, then at least this way I'll 'ave someone to talk to too."

The mechanic groaned and buried his face in the covers again. Rolling his eyes, Jackson reached out and trailed his fingers up and down the soft pale skin of the teenager's back, smiling as goose bumps broke out in their wake. He began massaging Aaron's shoulders and leant down so that his mouth was next to the younger man's ear.

"If you get up I'll make it worth your while later." he whispered.

A single sparkling blue eye appeared above a fold in the quilt and looked at him with sudden interest.

"Oh aye?"

"Mmhmm…" the builder answered making sure that his lips brushed against the teenager's earlobe, feeling his lover shiver at the touch.

"Okay." Aaron breathed.

Jackson grinned in victory and got to his feet to allow the mechanic to stand. Instead the younger man merely rolled over allowing his towel to fall open as he did so.

"There ya go." he said with a cheeky smile "I'm up and it's later!"

The builder's eyes were drawn to Aaron's waist, his mouth suddenly going dry.

"Thought you were tired?" he croaked.

"You woke me up." the younger man replied with a wink.

"We're gunna be late…" the older man tried one last time, his resolve melting.

"Oh… Okay. Well you go on ahead. I'll just finish up here and meet you in a bit." the mechanic grinned, dropping his head back on to the bed as his hands began roaming across his body.

Jackson made a strangled sound as he watched the display "You are an evil, evil man…" he ground out as he began shucking off his clothes.

"Not my fault you have no self control!" the younger man replied with a happy laugh.

"Lucky for you I don't where you're concerned really ain't it?" the builder exclaimed as he threw himself on top of the mechanic.

"Mmm… No argument from me." Aaron moaned as he wrapped his legs around Jackson's waist.

"Adam's not going to be happy…" the older man gasped.

"Don't care… Adam can do one!" the teenager replied before claiming his lover's mouth with a fervent kiss.

-x-x-

"Where've yous two been!" Adam exclaimed as Aaron and Jackson hurried up to the table "You said eight and it's nearly nine! I been trying to ring ya!"

The builder opened his mouth to reply but Aaron jumped in ahead of him.

"I'll go get us a couple of drinks. Back in a minute!" the teenager blurted out before rushing off to the bar, leaving his boyfriend to deal.

"Well?" Adam demanded glaring at the older man.

"Weren't my fault!" Jackson answered sliding onto a chair "You know what the missus is like, spends ages doing 'er hair, can never decide what hoody goes with which trackie bottoms… You're lucky we got 'ere this early!"

Scarlett burst out laughing and Adam snorted into his pint with a grin.

"Paddy not in tonight?" the farmer asked peering around the pub.

"Nah. Ee's on call. We left 'im in front of the telly watching How to Look Good Naked."

"Oh thanks a lot for that image mate!" Adam grimaced "You trying to put me off me beer?"

"There ya go. Don't say I never buy you nothing!" Aaron said walking up and plonking a pint down in front of his boyfriend before slipping onto the bench next to him.

"A whole pint to meself?" the builder gasped "You do spoil me don't cha?"

"And don't you forget it!" the younger man smirked.

"You're looking happy tonight Aaron. You had a good day?" Scarlett asked him.

"Been okay I guess." he replied indifferently without even glancing at her. "Your quad still running right?" he asked Adam, cutting the girl off as she opened her mouth to say something else "Ryan said you've been 'aving a few problems with it."

"Don't mind 'im." Jackson said to her as she scowled at his boyfriend "If it's not about engines, food or alcohol 'is little brain can't cope!"

Aaron spared him a withering glance before returning to listen to what Adam was saying about his bike.

"See what I mean?" the builder asked Scarlett with a wink.

"God I'm glad you're here!" she replied with a relieved smile "Another night of dumb and dumbass going on about cars and football and I'd've been ready to slit my wrists!"

"Tell me about it!" he said with a laugh "Though not about the footie obviously, I happen to be a practising member of that particular religion."

"Well… Nobody's perfect I suppose." Scarlett grinned back.

-x-x-

A couple of hours and several pints later Jackson was feeling very relaxed. He and Scarlett had chatted about music, fashion, films, travel, current affairs and TV, whilst as far as he could tell, Adam and Aaron had talked about what they'd had for tea, who would win a fight between Vin Diesel and The Rock and why it was so hard to find a matching pair of socks when you needed one.

"You wanting another?" Aaron asked him jiggling the remains of his pint.

"Yeah I think I could manage one more." the builder replied tipsily assessing his distressingly empty glass.

"Cool… Get me one while you're up there?"

"Erm no… Nice try though. I got the last ones in remember?"

"But I'm down to me last fiver." the teenager said pulling puppy dog eyes at his boyfriend.

"Just enough for a couple of pints then!" Jackson laughed.

"Tight arse." Aaron muttered.

"Isn't that your nickname?" the builder retorted cheekily.

The younger man flushed crimson and left the table in a hurry.

"What was that about?" Scarlett enquired, curiously watching Aaron as Jackson shook his head in amusement.

"Nothing." he replied with a smirk, appreciatively watching as his boyfriend bent over the bar to catch Bob's attention.

"Aaron's arse?" the girl asked peering over her shoulder figuring out what Jackson was dreamily grinning at.

"Urg!" Adam exclaimed "I soooo do not want to be listening to this!"

"I suppose he does have quite a nice bum." Scarlett said appraisingly, completely ignoring her boyfriend in favour as what was rapidly becoming the most interesting conversation of the night.

"Oi!" the farmer exclaimed looking peeved.

"Oh you have _noooo_ idea…" Jackson sighed happily, also ignoring Adam.

Scarlett turned to look at him, her eyebrows drawn together in puzzlement as she tried to figure out what he was talking about. Something in the way he was gently leering at Aaron's backside made her brain click and she boggled at the older man.

"What?" he asked in confusion as he noticed her staring at him as though she'd won the lottery.

"Oh my god!" she cackled excitedly "Aaron's a _bottom_?"

As Scarlett's exclamation rang out across the bar a sudden silence followed in its wake, broken only by the sound of Adam choking on a mouthful of his beer. Jackson stared at the girl opposite him, the look of horror spreading across his face telling her all she needed to know.

"It's true isn't it?" she crowed "Who would've thought it? Big scary Aaron Livesy takes it up-"

"Scarlett shut up!" Adam hissed smacking her on the arm.

"What?" she snapped "He's always horrible to me, I don't owe him anything!"

Jackson tore his eyes off her as his alcohol fogged brain finally caught up with what was going on. Looking up he saw Aaron, a pint of beer clutched in each hand, standing frozen halfway between their table and the bar, with every pair of eyes in the place staring at him. The mechanic had gone white as a sheet and was looking at him with wide, wide blue eyes. The older man expected to see rage building there, was readying himself for the glasses to be flung at him with fists following closely after, but what he saw was even worse. There was only a look of intense, heartbreaking hurt and confusion shining back at him.

"Aaron…" the builder croaked.

His voice seemed to break the spell that had fallen over the younger man. The teenager's face crumpled up in agony, the drinks he was holding slipped from his grasp, the glasses shattering as they hit the floor, and with that he turned away and fled.

"AARON!" Jackson cried after the retreating figure; but it was too late, his lover was gone.

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_Thanks for the reviews guys! Love knowing what people think of it so far :) x_


	24. Chapter 24

_Thanks for everyone who's reviewed so far! Glad to know so many people liked (if that's the right word!) the last chapter :) xx_

**Chapter 24**

He needed to get home. Needed to get to safety. Desperately he tried to banish all other thoughts from his mind. Must get home. Must get home. Don't think about Scarlett. Don't think about Jackson. Don't think about countless eyes staring, mocking, laughing... Smithy was just ahead, but though he was sprinting as fast as he could it seemed to be taking forever to get there.

"AARON! WAIT!" he heard someone yell. But he couldn't wait, didn't want to see the person that voice belonged too. He just needed to get home.

The sound of running feet started to pound along the road behind him but it didn't matter, the door was suddenly right there. He wrestled his keys out of a pocket, but his hands shook so badly that they slipped from his grasp. He bent to grab at them, only to have them again fall from nerveless fingers. Weeping in frustration he stooped once more to retrieve them, finally managing to get a firm grip just as a hand landed on his shoulder.

"Aaron!"

He shook off the hand and ignored the voice, trying to concentrate on getting the door open. But the keyhole was so small, and his hands were so huge and clumsy there was just no way... As the keys tumbled to the ground a third time, his legs crumpled beneath him and he followed them down, pressing a tear streaked face against the panel of wood that was denying him entrance to sanctuary.

"Aaron?"

The voice was quieter now, sounded worried, scared. Looking up all he could see was a figure silhouetted against the street light, but he knew that voice as well as he knew his own.

"Why?" he sobbed "Why'd you do this to me? Why'd you tell her?"

"Aaron I'm sorry! I didn't... I didn't tell her! She guessed!"

"HOW? HOW CAN SOMEONE GUESS SOMETHING LIKE THAT? YOU MUST'VE TOLD HER!"

"I just made some stupid drunken comment and she jumped to conclusions! I didn't realise! Please... It'll be fine..."

"Fine? FINE? HOW IS IT GOING TO BE FINE? Everyone knows... They'll all be laughing at me..."

"They won't-"

"YES THEY WILL! You don't know them! You don't understand!"

"I'm sorry! Please Aaron... I didn't mean for this to happen! You know I'd never do anything to hurt you on purpose!"

"I trusted you... You... I thought... Do you even know what you've done?"

"I know it seems bad right now, but when you calm down..."

"Leave me alone."

"Aaron please..."

The figure reached out for him.

"DON'T TOUCH ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"I'm sorry!"

"GO AWAY!"

-x-x-

Jackson stared heartbrokenly down at the figure huddled shivering on the doorstep. He didn't know what to do. Aaron was right. He'd betrayed him, albeit by accident. The teenager had trusted him and all it had taken for him to break that trust was a few pints and a couple of poorly judged comments made in front of someone he thought might be a friend. Damn Scarlett! He couldn't believe she'd be so deliberately cruel... Maybe she was just too stupid to realise the damage she'd cause. It didn't really matter now though, the results were the same either way and he had no idea what to say to even begin to make things better. All he wanted was to wrap his arms around his boyfriend and sooth his hurt, but Aaron wouldn't even let him touch him. And how could he take the pain away when it was clear that he was the one causing it? All he could do was stand there helplessly watching the person he cared about most in the world falling apart in front of his eyes.

"Jackson?" came a voice from behind him.

Turning, he found Adam standing uncertainly halfway up the path. Relief flooded through him... If Aaron wouldn't let him near then maybe he'd be okay with his mate. It would hurt but his feelings didn't matter right now, that Aaron had someone to look after him was what was important.

"He won't let me touch him... Won't even let me pick up his keys to get him inside." he told the younger man.

Adam looked past him to where his friend was slumped crying against the door.

"Oh god... I'm gunna kill Scarlett!" the farmer muttered as he hurried forward. As he went to put an arm around Aaron, Jackson held his breath, scared that the mechanic would react just as badly as he had done to himself trying the same thing a minute before.

"Come on mate." Adam murmured as he picked up the fallen keys "Let's get you inside yeah?"

The builder felt a stab of pain in his heart as Aaron allowed himself to be heaved up off the ground, clinging to his friend as if he were the only solid thing in the world. That should be him, not Adam. What if he was never the one that Aaron leant on for support again? Standing there watching someone else in his place by his boyfriend's side, Jackson felt tears begin to slide down his cheeks.

"You coming in?" Adam asked him as he got the door open.

"I don't want him here!" Aaron snapped before he could even answer.

"I... I'd best get home I guess. Thanks for looking after him Adam... Aaron, I'll... I'll stop by tomorrow."

There was no response from the mechanic and the last thing he saw as the door closed behind the two men was Adam giving him a sympathetic look over his shoulder.

Jackson stood staring at the cottage for a few moments, wondering how a day which had been going so well could have suddenly gone so horribly wrong. With a sigh he finally turned away and headed for the bus stop, hoping he hadn't missed the last ride into town, otherwise he was in for an uncomfortable nights sleep in his van on top of everything else.

-x-x-

Adam sat on the edge of the bed, uncomfortably watching his best friend crying his eyes out. Seeing Aaron in tears was always an unnerving experience. To look at him normally it just wasn't something you could imagine him doing. His mask was so perfect that hardly anyone realised it was there. He knew of course, had seen the cracks appear when his friend was upset or angry or scared, but even he had been shocked that day in court when Aaron's façade had crumbled completely. For anyone that even remotely cared about him it had been almost unbearably painful to see... To suddenly realise that someone close to you, someone you thought you knew, had been hiding a seething mass of hurt without you even realising. He'd hoped never to see something like that happen again, and yet here it was, only ten times worse this time.

You only had to see the two of them together for more than a couple of minutes to see that Aaron was crazy about Jackson. Adam found it comical to watch his friend trying to maintain his hard man persona when the builder was around, and the fact that he hardly seemed to care or notice when he failed told him everything he needed to know. And as for Jackson, well... The way he looked at Aaron would make anyone wish that they had someone in their life who would look at them with even half so much care an affection. You could see where that was going a mile off... It was probably just as well that the mechanic was too clueless in matters of the heart to realise!

The farmer couldn't believe that this was all happening. Everything had been going so well... Much as he loved his friend, there was no denying that he'd always been difficult and moody, but over the past couple of weeks he'd started acting a little more like a decent human being each day. A sulky, angry Aaron had gone into hospital and a smiling, almost goofy Aaron had come out. It was a revelation to many that he could be anything other than an obnoxious chav, and that was down to Jackson's influence. But what would happen to him following this disaster? The mechanic was so upset, so angry with the older man that it was all too easy to imagine that their relationship was over. And if it was, then the chances were that this new Aaron would wither away just as quickly as he'd blossomed. And it was all his girlfriend's fault! He felt sick that Scarlett could do something like this. Worst of all she found the whole situation funny, even after seeing just how it had devastated Aaron and how distraught Jackson had been.

There was only one thing for it. Difficult as it would make his life, he had to explain to Aaron exactly what had happened at that table. Try to make him understand that, whilst Jackson may have said more than he possibly should have, it was Scarlett's vicious streak and her dislike of her boyfriend's best friend that were truly to blame. If he was successful then he knew that he'd never be able to have a night out with the two of them again, but that was infinitely preferable to Aaron throwing away the best thing that had ever happened to him. Of course, convincing his mate of anything that he didn't already believe was pretty much impossible, but he had to try. He would at least make sure that the mechanic knew the whole story, then what he did with that information was up to him.

"Come on mate, cheer up… Worse things happen at see ya know." he tried. It was lame he knew but there wasn't very much that wouldn't sound hollow in the face of things.

Red rimmed, tear stained eyes stared back as if he were insane.

"Like what?" the mechanic snapped at him.

"Erm… Well you'd be wet and miserable instead of just miserable?" Adam replied with a shrug.

"Div!" Aaron snorted as he pressed his face into a pillow.

"There ya go… Saw a bit of a smile there I reckon."

The mechanic rolled over to again face his friend "Look… Thanks for... For looking after me and all, but I just kinda want to be by meself."

"Okay… But before I go I think you should know what happened earlier."

Aaron groaned.

"I already know what happened! He told her that I… He told her what we do together!" he sobbed "I don't get it! I thought he liked me!"

"It wasn't like that! And he does like you! Anyone can see that!" Adam tried to reassure him.

"How can you say that? He must've known I wouldn't want everyone knowing I… He must really hate me! Maybe he's just been pretending all along? He probably planned it… This is his revenge for me punching him!"

"NO!" the farmer snapped, emphasising the point with a smack to his friends leg "Don't even start thinking crap like that that you know's not true! Jackson's the best thing to ever happen to you and I ain't gunna sit here listening to you making out that he's some evil mastermind! He's a good guy that just made a mistake! All he did was have a bit too much to drink and say something complimentary about you… People do that when they like someone you know? Scarlett just… Kinda figured out the rest for herself... It's not his fault!"

"WHY WAS HE TALKING ABOUT ME TO HER ANYWAY?" Aaron bellowed.

"BECAUSE HE'S PROUD OF YOU!" Adam yelled back "For god's sake Aaron! He thinks he's the luckiest bloke in the world being with you! Of course he's going to talk about you! I mean you talk about him all the time!"

"Not about _that_ I don't! I trusted him!" the mechanic spat back.

"What? D'you really believe the minute yer back was turned he were telling Scarlett how much you love to, to, to… To get fucked? Cos if you think that's what he's like then you don't even know yer own boyfriend!"

Adam watched the colour drain from his friend's face and realised that he'd gone too far.

"Get out." Aaron whispered.

The farmer sighed and heaved himself to his feet knowing that staying would just make the situation worse. Pausing in the doorway he looked back at his friend huddled dejectedly on his bed.

"Mate… I just meant… Just think about it okay. It's not Jackson's fault."

Pain filled blue eyes regarded him tiredly.

"Just… Go. Please."

-x-x-

Aaron lay curled on his side, arms wrapped tightly round a pillow, hugging it to him for dear life. He didn't know how long it had been since Adam left. He'd heard Paddy come in from a call and go to bed what seemed like hours ago, but it was still dark out so who knew what time it might be. There was no chance of him getting any sleep though, his head was too mashed. Thoughts chased each other round and round… Everything that had happened in the pub, everything that Adam had said, pretty much everything that had happened since the first time he'd met Jackson was in there somewhere… It was all just a jumbled mess.

He should hate Jackson, everything that he was screamed that that was what he should feel. He hated Scarlett, loathed her more than anyone he'd ever met, but somehow he just couldn't hate Jackson. And that's what hurt more than anything. If he could've hated him everything would have been simple, but despite what had happened he still wanted the builder, literally ached for him right now. Even though he could hardly bear to think about the older man for the feelings of anger and betrayal that those thoughts brought, all he wanted was to feel his arms around him, his warm breath on his neck. He could smell him on the pillow he was clutching, wanted to throw it across the room in disgust but couldn't, instead he lay there with his head buried in it inhaling his lover's scent, imagining that it was him instead of some assembly of cloth and stuffing, appalled at himself for being so weak and pathetic.

What had happened to him? He never felt this way, not even when his mum had left or when his dad had cast him aside. This wasn't him. He was hard and tough, nothing was supposed to get to him, nobody was supposed to be able to hurt him. So why was Jackson different? He shied away from that question, not wanting to know the answer. No. Jackson was the same as the rest of them he told himself. This agony was just some weird phase, it wouldn't last. Soon it would fade away and he'd quite happily be able to never see the older man again, wouldn't even give him a second thought. The fact that right now the very idea of living without him felt like being stabbed in the heart with an icicle meant nothing. He wouldn't let it.

-x-x-

Two days later Aaron didn't feel any better. If anything he felt worse. At first he'd been fuelled by anger, his rage over being so publicly humiliated roiling like storm clouds in his head. But as the clouds dissipated, his thoughts had cleared and he'd been able to think about his situation more rationally. He just didn't know what to do about it, so he'd been lying there paralysed with indecision pretty much ever since Adam had left the other night.

Everyone knew he was gay. He wasn't exactly happy about it but even he was willing to accept that it was better than the alternative. He'd done the whole self-loathing closet case thing and he'd ended up hurting not just himself but those around him too… Paddy, Adam, his family… Jackson… None of them had deserved what he'd put them through. Afterwards it had been difficult to see why he'd been so scared. People seemed okay with it for the most part, yeah his mates made the odd joke every now and again but he was actually starting to find them funny too. But now… Now he'd been reminded of exactly why he hated the thought of people knowing.

Thanks to Scarlett they all knew what he and Jackson did in the bedroom. The thought of them all looking at him, knowing that he let another man do that to him made him feel ill. Maybe they'd thought about it before, but they didn't _know_. There was a huge difference wasn't there?

And the worst thing? The worst thing was that he had to admit that he absolutely loved what Jackson did to him. He'd never felt more alive, more wanted in his life than when his lover was inside him. The possibility of never having that feeling again warred with the horror of everyone knowing that he wanted it, the conflict tearing him up inside.

He still blamed Jackson for all this and was refusing to talk to him. He wanted to, his body and soul yearning for him, but he could still feel anger lurking beneath the surface and was terrified he'd lose it and do or saying something he'd regret if they were to come face-to-face. The builder came to the house several times each day to try to see him, each time Paddy had come up to check if he'd allow it, and each time he told him to go away, just as he had anyone else that turned up.

He knew that he was being childish, pushing away the people who cared about him just as he always did, but he couldn't see how any of them could help. How would talking about it change the situation? Would someone telling him that nobody thought any less of him now stop people making fun of him? Would listening to how he should be grateful that Jackson wanted to be with him allow him to forgive the older man? No it wouldn't, because he knew perfectly well that he still wanted to be with Jackson, he just didn't know how he would ever be able to trust him again, and what sort of relationship could they possibly hope to have under those circumstances?

_Sorry to everyone who was hoping for a happy ending to this chapter... I'm much too mean not to let the boys suffer for at least a little bit longer! ;-)_


	25. Chapter 25

_So many brilliant chapters and stories have been uploaded over the past couple of days that I feel a bit nervous about this contribution! Hope it's not too boring or badly written! :-s xx_

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**Chapter 25**

Chas stormed into the surgery, breezed passed a flustered Pearl and burst into the consulting room without knocking.

"Is ee out of bed yet or what?" she demanded loudly.

Paddy practically jumped out of skin, papers and notes fluttering through the air as the file he'd been reading flew out of his hands.

"Christ on a bike! Are you trying to give me an 'eart attack?" the vet exclaimed clutching at his chest.

His ex scowled at him, but then her face softened and with a sigh she leaned heavily against the counter top "Sorry Paddy... I'm just so worried about 'im! It's driving me spare!"

"I know... Me too." he sympathised "Ee's still up there, won't come out, won't see anyone. I don't even know if ee's drinking, ee's certainly not eating – any food I bring him just gets left wherever I put it down. I've tried talking to 'im but ee's just not 'aving any of it, just tells me to do one! Then if I keep trying ee plugs 'imself into 'is ipod and hides under a pillow!"

"We have to do something Paddy!" Chas cried in frustration "We can't just stand by and let 'im starve 'imself to death!"

"I don't know what else I can do!" Paddy replied hopelessly "We can't force him to talk, you know what 'appened last time I did that... I really don't want another beating! I thought about letting Jackson up there despite what Aaron wants, but I'm too scared of what might happen... And if he thinks that he can't trust me then we might wake up one morning to find ee's done a runner and we could end up never seeing 'im again!"

"You're right." the woman's face hardened with determination "You can't force him to talk but I can! And if he won't talk then ee can bleedin' well listen!"

"I, I, I... I really don't think that's a good idea!" the vet spluttered.

"What choice do we have? We can't just leave it until ee passes out from hunger and we end up 'aving to call an ambulance to take 'im away! You can't do it if there's any chance it'd end up with 'im buggering off god knows where, so who else?"

"Chas... If you do this... If you force 'im into something he doesn't want to do... He might never forgive you... Might never speak to you again!" Paddy pleaded for her to understand.

"If you hadn't noticed we're not exactly going to win mother and son of the year any time soon... I probably won't even be able to tell the difference." she answered with a tight smile that didn't reach her eyes "Anyway, it's not just Aaron this is affecting, there's Jackson to think about as well."

"What d'you mean?" the vet asked with a puzzled frown.

"Have ya not noticed?" Chas asked incredulously.

"Noticed what? I've only seen 'im when he comes round to see if Aaron's changed his mind about talking to 'im... He seems ok."

"Ee's been walking about the village like a zombie Paddy! Doesn't look like ee's slept in a week. I saw 'im in the caff earlier, he ordered a bacon butty then wandered off before it were ready and left 'is wallet lying on the counter. When I caught up with 'im to give it 'im back, it didn't look like ee even remembered where ee was! I'm surprised ee 'asn't cut an 'and off at work or driven that van off his through a wall yet! I know what 'appened in the pub was bad but he doesn't deserve what Aaron's doing to 'im!"

"I didn't realise he was in that bad a way." Paddy grimaced "Seemed pretty on the ball earlier when ee stopped by..."

"Oh aye, when it comes to Aaron ee's as sharp as a tack. Gave me the third degree about 'im as soon as it sank in who it was that were trying to give 'im 'is wallet back. It's just the rest of 'is life he seems to have forgotten about!"

"Even so... What if you just make things worse?" the vet asked doubtfully.

"Worse? How can things possibly get any worse?" Chas practically shrieked.

"This is Aaron we're talking about remember..." Paddy answered, sighing heavily.

"But he was finally getting somewhere! Getting on with his life! How much better has ee been doing since him and Jackson got together? The whole village can see it... You think anyone wants to see 'im back the way ee used to be, growling and scowling at anything that moves? No. I won't let it happen, even if it means he don't want nowt more to do with me, I have to get him to sort things out with Jackson... For his sake as well as everyone else's!"

"Well don't say I didn't warn you if something goes wrong..." the vet said, finally giving in "And... And just be careful okay? Ee can be unpredictable at the best of times, god only knows what ee could do when ee's in this sort of mood..."

"Don't you worry about me Paddy, me and me right knee've seen off more young men than you could count!" Chas laughed, slapping her thigh for emphasis.

Paddy winced "Just remember... Just cos ee's gay it doesn't necessarily mean that ee won't want kids at some point!"

The woman smiled fondly at him and moved forward to give him a hug "Wish me luck?"

"Yeah... Good luck... I think you're gunna need it!"

-x-x-

Chas stood outside Aaron's bedroom door, the same place she'd been standing for the past five minutes. Despite the confident front she'd put on for Paddy, she was wracked with doubt over what she was about to do. She knew that she wasn't the best mother in the world, not by a long shot, but she loved her son and wanted what was best for him. Currently she thought that Jackson was what he needed, no matter what he might have to say about it. She just wished that there was some way to tell whether or not she was right, she didn't exactly have the best track record of making the correct decisions where Aaron was concerned.

The poor kid had been at a disadvantage from the start she thought, what with her for a mother and Gordon for a father. Aaron had inherited her stubbornness and inclination to run from difficult situations, along with Gordon's quick temper and tendency to fall back on his fists in a pinch... Not a good combination to say the least.

Maybe if she'd taken him with her when she'd left things would be different, but at that point she'd only been thinking about herself. By the time she'd remembered her son it was too late to go back and, if she was honest, she wasn't sure she would've even if she'd been able to, the urge to fly from anything to do with her broken marriage had been so strong. She was a failure as a mother and Aaron was the one who was paying the price for it.

Well, maybe now she could atone slightly for her sins. There was no doubt that Jackson was the best thing to happen to her son in a long time. The incident in the pub had just been an alcohol induced error of judgement, and god knows she had enough of those in her past, she could hardly blame the young man for his, no matter what the consequences. She was determined to make Aaron see that he needed that relationship, even if it cost her her own with him.

Squaring her shoulders, she pushed open the door and marched into the darkened room.

"Thought I told you earlier to do one Paddy." an annoyed voice greeted her from the pile of bedclothes heaped on the mattress.

"It ain't Paddy." Chas stated as she picked her way across to the window to throw open the curtains.

"What d'you think yer doing!" a single eye glared out at her from the nest Aaron had made of his blankets, squinting in the sudden brightness.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm letting some light into this flea pit! And," she added, wrinkling her nose as she opened the window "Some fresh air. When's the last time you 'ad a shower? It smells like a jogger's armpit in 'ere!"

"Just leave me alone!" her son groaned as he buried himself under the quilt.

"Not. A. Chance. You and me kid are gunna have a little chat, and there ain't nowt that you can do about it so don't even try."

As she spoke Chas grabbed the ipod she'd spotted on the bedside table, remembering what Paddy had said earlier. A second later a hand shot out from underneath a pillow and fumbled blindly around the spot that the music player had occupied.

"Lost something love?" she asked innocently. The hand froze mid-search then slowly withdrew back under the covers.

"Why won't you just go away? Thought leaving was what you were best at?" came a muffled reply.

"Nice try!" Chas laughed "You'll have to do better than that though. I ain't going anywhere until we've got this sorted."

Aaron threw off his duvet in exasperation and glowered up at his mother "I can sort it on me own! I don't need you!"

Getting a good look at her son for the first time Chas was shaken. Dull, red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes stared out at her from a gaunt white face, several days' growth of dark stubble and the black bags of his eyelids emphasising just how pale he was. He looked even worse than Jackson, and that was saying something.

"Oh Aaron love…" she breathed, hurrying forward and throwing her arms around him. She felt the teenager stiffen in her arms but held on despite the tension, resisting her natural urge to pull away. She knew he hated it when she hugged him, but there was just no way she could see him looking so broken without at least trying to offer comfort. Suddenly all the fight seemed to go out of him and she found herself being clutched tightly in return as his body began to shake uncontrollably.

Chas was at a loss as to what to do; Aaron hadn't cried in her arms since he was about seven years old. She opted for doing what she'd done then – rubbing his back and making vague soothing noises as he shuddered and sobbed into her shoulder. He didn't pull away so she figured that she was doing okay, for now at least.

A few minutes later the young mechanic seemed to pull himself together a bit.

"Sorry." he muttered trying to shake her off.

She let him go, fishing in her bag for a tissue which she handed over so that he could dry his eyes.

"No need to apologise kid… You want to talk about it?"

"Not really." the teenager mumbled rolling on to his side to face away from her.

Chas sighed… This was usually where she'd back off and leave him to it, Aaron's tone of voice warning that to press any further would be pushing her luck. Well not this time. She was going to push and to hell with the consequences.

"Well that's too bad cos that's what we're damn well going to do! You can't stay skulking about up here any longer Aaron! You need to eat, wash, get back out there! How's hiding in your room helping eh? Face your problems for once in yer life!"

She said it to get a reaction more than anything, and she wasn't to be disappointed. Aaron leapt out of bed to face her, scowling in fury.

"You of all people are telling me to face up to my problems? YOU?" he screamed at her "When was the last time you faced up to anything? You're even worse than me for running away! You're such a hypocrite! You've got no right to come here to tell me what to do! How many times've you walked out on me eh? And now you want me to listen to you? What did you come 'ere for anyways? To give me advice on me love life? Come on then mum, let's hear everything you're learnt from all the hugely successful relationships you've 'ad! Oh no wait… You've not had a relationship that you've not fucked up royally have you?"

Mother and son looked at each other in silence for a minute before Chas answered so quietly that Aaron had to strain to hear what she said.

"Yer right love. One hundred percent right."

"Ya what?" her son replied with a frown, obviously not having anticipated that response.

"I said you're right!" she snapped "Everything you've said about me's spot on. I've messed up my life again and again… I'm a coward... Couldn't hack sorting out me own problems so I just ran off leaving 'em behind. I've thrown so many good things away in favour of bad cos I never realised what I had 'til it were too late… I know I've got no right to tell you what to do, but I can't just stand by and watch you make the same mistakes I did without even trying to warn you! Don't you see love… I don't want you to end up like me! You can do so much better!"

Aaron was staring at her in shock. There were tears running down her cheeks she knew, and no doubt her mascara was a complete mess but she didn't care. All she wanted was to get through to her son. After a few seconds he sank down onto the bed, all the aggression going out of him, leaving him looking suddenly tired and lost.

"I dunno what to do mum." he whispered "I feel like everything's all fallen apart and I can't put it back together."

Chas shifted round so that she could put an arm round his shoulders "Well maybe… Maybe together we can figure something out yeah? If worst comes to the worst you can just do the exact opposite of what I'd do and everything'll be fine!"

The teenager managed a small laugh at that but the moment passed quickly.

"I don't see how it's ever gunna be fine." he sighed.

"Come on love… It's not that bad surely? So a bunch of nosy gits all know your business? So what? You just need to ignore them yeah? Don't let what other people think ruin what you've got with Jackson! Is ee not worth more than that?"

"I don't care what everyone thinks about me!" Aaron retorted.

"You always say that," his mother replied with a shake of her head "But then you always end up in here, every time the busybodies find out something you wanted to hide! I know you're ashamed of being gay but-"

"I ain't ashamed!" the mechanic butted in angrily.

Chas gave him a look as if to say that that was quite possibly the biggest lie she had ever heard in her entire life.

"I'm not!" he insisted "I… I was at first… Just not now. Not really. I mean I'm not exactly out and proud or anything, but I don't… I don't hate it like I did. I don't mind being gay anymore. And I ain't ashamed."

"You've changed yer tune! When did all this 'appen?" she exclaimed, not quite able to believe what her son was telling her.

"After… After me and Jackson… Ya know." Aaron mumbled, blushing furiously "I've never felt like I did afterwards. It were like everything was right for the first time in my life… Like all the crap I'd been carrying around with me just wasn't important, and I couldn't figure out why I ever thought that it was. I can't remember a time when there wasn't this voice in my 'ead telling me that I couldn't be gay, that it was wrong… But after we… It just wasn't there anymore. I can't be ashamed of it anymore mum, cos then I'd be ashamed of him, and I'm not. I'll never be ashamed of the way Jackson makes me feel, not now, not ever. There's just no way that what we do can be wrong if it makes me feel like that, no matter what other people say or think."

Chas realised that she'd been holding her breath. She'd never heard Aaron say anything like that before... Usually she was lucky to get a couple of words and a grunt out of him. And he'd sounded so grown up. If this was the effect that Jackson had on him then it looked like she had her confirmation that she was right that the builder was exactly what her son needed.

"So you're fine with everyone knowing what… They found out the other night then?" she asked uncertainly.

"Well I weren't at first... I thought I was gunna throw up knowing that they knew... But just today I realised that's the same way I felt when they found out I was gay... Yeah I wish they didn't know, but there ain't a lot I can do about it is there? They'd probably all thought about it anyway. No… Now I've 'ad a chance to calm down… What's the point of worrying about what they think of me? It's not like any of 'em liked me much to start with so why let their opinions matter? Adam didn't seem to care, Paddy don't seem fussed… So I guess the people that are important are okay with it. Even you're back again despite everything... Guess it's just Cain and Ryan that I'm a bit worried about…"

"Well I dunno about Ryan but Cain says that you're fine to come back to work whenever you feel up to it."

Aaron looked at her suspiciously "That don't sound like Cain…"

"Well… What ee actually said was 'Tell 'im to get his arse down here right now. I don't care how sore it is, if he's not in tomorrow he can forget about coming back at all.'" Chas answered with a blush.

The mechanic rolled his eyes "Cheers for sharing that. Can't wait to go back now." he muttered sarcastically.

"Wait a minute… If you're okay with everyone knowing that… With knowing that, why are you still sulking in your bedroom like a mardy old woman?" she asked in confusion.

"Because I dunno what to do about Jackson!" her son snapped, suddenly sounding like the petulant teenager she was more familiar with.

"Love… Yer gunna have to help me out here… From the way you were talking I thought you really liked 'im?"

"I do! I like him so much it's making me sick thinking about not being with 'im!" Aaron groaned, letting his head fall into his hands in despair.

"Well he's right out there!" Chas cried with a gesture towards the village outside "I saw 'im earlier, why don't you just go see 'im?"

"I can't!" the mechanic exclaimed as he jumped to his feet.

"Why not?"

"BECAUSE HE TOLD THEM!" he yelled at her, his hands balling into fists.

"But you said that you didn't care about them knowing anymore!" she replied feeling completely lost now.

"You don't get it!"

"Then explain it to me! Please Aaron! Just tell me what's wrong!" his mother pleaded.

"Oh Mum!" the teenager sobbed, his anger dissolving into misery "He knows everything! I tell him everything! All the stuff I've ever kept bottled up, all my secrets… I dunno why but I can talk to him about it all! And now… Now… What if he says something else about me? I don't care about being gay anymore but some of the things I've told him… It'd kill me if he tells everyone!"

Chas watched her son slide to the floor with his back against the wall, tears streaming down his face as he stared at her hopelessly, and finally she understood.

"You don't trust him anymore." she stated quietly.

Aaron just shook his head in response.

"You don't think that ee told Scarlett on purpose though do ya?"

"Of course not! He wouldn't do something like that!" he asserted in annoyance.

"So why d'you think he'd say anything about the other stuff?" Chas asked reasonably.

The teenager's mouth hung open for a second as he tried to think of something to say.

"He might do it by accident again." he opted for in the end.

"Let me get this straight... So to speak... You're contemplating ending your relationship with a really good bloke who really likes you - despite the fact that you decked him, along with everything else you've put 'im through - who understands you, who you're comfortable enough with to talk to about anything, and who makes you happier than you've ever been, all because he might possibly make a mistake at some point in the future?"

"Well it's bound to sound stupid if you put it like that ain't it!" he barked.

"That's cos it is stupid! He's only human Aaron! He's gunna make mistakes no matter how hard he might try not to! If you hadn't noticed nobody's perfect, even Jackson! If you care about someone you learn to forgive them when they fall off the pedestals you put them on... Unless you really think that what ee's done is so bad that you can see past it?"

"I can't help how I feel!" the teenager ground out.

Chas watched him sitting there defiantly glaring at her, daring her to disagree with him and she could see that his mind was made up, no matter what his heart might have to say in the matter. She sighed. No matter how he may have changed, her son was as stubborn as ever and would do what he wanted no matter how she argued against him...

"Well if that's what you really want... I'll go make you a quick snack whilst you hop in the shower." she said getting to her feet.

"Ya what?" Aaron frowned in confusion.

"Well you must be starving, Paddy says you've not eaten in two days. And you can't go out looking...and smelling like you do, so you need to have a shower first."

"I ain't going nowhere!"

"Err... Yeah, you are."

"Where's that then?" he asked with a scowl.

"You're going to go find Jackson and tell him that it's over between the two of you."

Her son gawped at her as if she'd gone mad "No I ain't!"

"Aaron, you've got to. If you can't forgive him for what he's done what other choice do you have? Don't you think he's got a right to know? You need to tell him before ee ends up hurting himself."

"What do ya mean before ee hurts himself?" the teenager demanded suddenly looking worried.

"What? Did you think you were the only one who's upset? From the looks of 'im I reckon ee's probably 'ad about as much sleep as you over the last couple of days. The difference with him is that ee's working... Been driving around and using a bunch of power tools off the back of it. Only a matter of time before ee 'as an accident if you ask me. If you care about 'im at all you need to put 'im out of 'is misery."

"You think me dumping 'im's going to make 'im feel better?" Aaron asked incredulously.

"Course not! Not at first anyways. But ee at least deserves to know where ee stands and then he won't have to spend the whole time moping around worrying about you. Ee'll be able to move on, find 'imself a new fella. Nice bloke like Jackson, sure ee'll be fighting 'em off with a stick! And you can go find yerself someone new too, plenty more fish in the sea I always say! Maybe I could come out with ya yeah? It'll be a right laugh! Ooo I remember what I were like at your age, different bloke every weekend, two sometimes if I were on form! We'll get you pulling like mad in no time kid, you mark my words!"

"You think I should end it then?" her son asked uncertainly.

"Weeell... You said yourself that you can't help the way you feel. Best get it over and done with soon as really! You can't worry about how badly it's going to hurt Jackson, he'll get over it probably, you just need to think about yerself. Look out for number one, that's always been my motto!"

The teenager's face hardened at those words.

"Look out for number one?" he repeated coldly "That's how you think I should live my life?"

"Best way to avoid disappointment love!" Chas grinned cheerfully, praying that she was doing the right thing.

"I'm gunna take your advice then." her son stated determinedly, getting to his feet and opening the door.

His mother suddenly felt a chill, afraid that she'd got it all wrong after all.

"Oh yeah? Which bit?" she asked trying her best not to choke on the words.

Aaron glared at her over his shoulder from the doorway.

"I'm gunna take a shower, have something to eat and then I'm gunna find Jackson and do the exact opposite of what you'd do." he snapped before marching off up the landing.

Standing alone in her son's bedroom Chas breathed a sigh of relief and allowed herself a small smirk of satisfaction.

* * *

_If you like it let me know! If you hate it please lie! :)_


	26. Chapter 26

_Happy Easter everyone! :)_

**Chapter 26**

Aaron stormed out of the house, running on pure irritation. He could not believe his mother sometimes! The interfering cow was always sticking her nose into his business but today took the biscuit! She'd certainly fooled him for a while with her 'I don't want you to end up like me' sob story, but she'd obviously said all that just so he'd tell her what she wanted to know. As soon as she'd satisfied her curiosity she was straight back to being the selfish mare she'd always been!

He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this annoyed… Probably sometime before he'd got together with Jackson certainly, he'd been much calmer since then, the world not feeling quite so against him as it used to. Jackson… She wanted him to chuck him and go looking for some new bloke! As if! He'd seen what was out there and Jackson beat them all hands down.

The builder understood him… _Really_ understood him. It was like the man was a mind reader or something sometimes. Aaron wasn't an expert but he knew something like that didn't come along very often. He'd seen enough couples who didn't click to know that him and Jackson weren't like that at all, they were right for each other. He was so lucky to have met him and not to have driven him away with all his stupid crappy baggage, and his mother - his own _mother_, who was supposed to want what was best for him - reckoned that just 'cause they'd hit a bit of a bump in the road that he should run off and find a replacement! As if anyone could replace Jackson!

Yeah his boyfriend had upset him, but he didn't do it on purpose. It wasn't his fault that Scarlett was a loud mouthed bitch. He knew from the way that Jackson always looked out for him that he wouldn't intentionally hurt him. People made mistakes, something he knew from extensive personal experience. The builder had forgiven him much worse in the past, the very least he could do was to try his best to get past this. No, not try… He would get past this, trust could be rebuild if the person was worth it, and Jackson most certainly was. Now all he had to do was calm down. He was much too riled up about his mum to have a reasonable and sensible conversation with anyone.

Nipping down the side of the café to try to avoid running into anyone he might snap at, Aaron made his way to the little playgroup near the church and sat himself down on one of the swings. As a kid he'd been all about the slides, but now he was more mature he recognised the superiority of the swings. Gently pushing himself back and forth he made a mental note to ask Jackson which was his preferred playground ride… He would bet on it being the roundabout. He could just picture the older man giggling like an idiot as he spun round and round. The thought made him smile; even when he wasn't around Jackson still had the ability to make him relax.

Swinging lazily in the warm sunshine the teenager felt himself unwind, the stresses of the last couple of days and the visit from his mother slowly seeping away. Unfortunately, now that he was no longer agonising over what to do about his boyfriend, or being driven by his annoyance at Chas, he was beginning to realise just how incredibly tired he was. He'd not had a wink of sleep since that horror trip to the Woolie, and the only thing he'd eaten was a sandwich that Paddy had made himself for his lunch today which the vet had foolishly left in the fridge unguarded. He desperately needed a good kip but there was no way that he'd be able to keep his eyes closed until he'd sorted stuff with Jackson. He just hoped that his fuddled brain would work well enough to actually deal with the situation before it shut down completely and all he was left capable of doing was mumbling incoherently at his lover and drooling a bit.

Aaron decided that it was time to go do this before he nodded off for a second and fell flat on his face. Hopping off the swing he made his way past the church towards Dale Head, hoping that nobody at the garage would spot him as he scuttled across the road. He was glad to see that Jackson's van was parked up outside the cottage, he wasn't sure what he would've done if the builder hadn't been around, there was no way he had the energy to go all the way to Jackson's flat even if he'd known exactly where it was.

The realisation that he didn't even know where his boyfriend lived made Aaron frown. Even when they went out to Bar West for a few they always ended up coming back to Emmerdale and Smithy, because that's where he was comfortable. It would've been easier and cheaper to stay at Jackson's place in Hotten but somehow it never happened, something else that the older man did for him without complaint or comment. The teenager sighed. He really was a sucky boyfriend. Jackson was so good to him, putting up with so much when he didn't have to, and here he'd been on the verge of throwing it all away over some silly drunken compliment that had just revealed more than the man had intended.

Trying the door to the cottage he found it locked up tight. Aaron groaned as he realised that if his van was here but he wasn't working, then Jackson must have gone on lunch. That meant the builder was either in the Woolpack or in the café along with god only knew how many locals. Just what he wanted – an audience. Resigning himself to once again being the centre of attention, the mechanic trudged up the road, heading to the pub first seeing as it was closest. He prayed that Cain wasn't in, the last thing he needed right now was his uncle going off on one over missing work.

Shuffling in through the bar room doors he quickly scanned the room. Thankfully, being early yet, it was fairly quiet with only seven or eight people dotted about. Even better there was no sign of any lurking Dingles. Spotting Jackson sitting alone in a corner, Aaron wandered over, acutely aware that everyone had stopped what they were doing to watch him. Everyone that is, apart from his boyfriend who appeared to be in a world of his own. The builder was sat staring at a plate of lasagne and chips that was lying untouched on the table in front of him. He'd apparently managed to pick up a fork at some point, but that was about as far as he must've gotten before drifting off in thought.

Leaning on the back of the chair opposite the older man, Aaron studied him for a few seconds. The last time he'd seen him properly, Jackson had been his usual healthy looking self, full of life, laughing and chatting and generally having a good time. Now… Now he sat slumped dejectedly in his seat, his usually golden-brown skin tinged with grey and dark rings clearly visible around his downcast eyes.

The mechanic swallowed past the lump that formed in his throat at the sight of him looking so sorry for himself. This was all wrong… He was the one that was supposed to be a miserable git not Jackson! Jackson took everything in his stride and never let things get to him! The thought that he could reduce his boyfriend to this state was terrifying… He would never have believed that he had that sort of power over the older man if he hadn't seen him like this with his own eyes. Until now he'd only really ever considered the hold that the builder had over him... After all, it's not like he was anything special, there must be millions of better guys out there. Apparently he'd been mistaken though, Jackson seemed to be taking what had happened just as hard as he had, so maybe to him he was a little bit special at least. Now he felt even worse about everything he put the older man through, though at the same time he also felt luckier than ever that the builder had stuck with him despite it all.

"It's called food; I think you're supposed to put it in your mouth." he said lightly.

Jackson's head snapped up at the sound of his voice, his eyes going wide. A huge sunny grin spread across his face making Aaron's heart skip a beat.

"Aaron?" the older man whispered as if he couldn't quite believe his eyes.

"You mind if I sit down?" the mechanic asked tentatively "I guess we need to talk..."

The smile faded from Jackson's face "You're breaking up with me then." he said forlornly. It was a statement rather than a question.

"No!" Aaron exclaimed as he slid quickly onto the chair "Why would you think something daft like that!"

The builder gave him a small, puzzled looking frown "Because I fucked up and you've refused to see or talk to me for two days and now you're saying that we 'Need to talk'... That normally only means one thing..."

"Ah... Okay, I can see where you're coming from." the teenager conceded sheepishly "But when have you ever known me to do anything normal?" he added trying to lighten the mood.

Jackson snorted "Well you've got a point there I guess... So... So we're not over then?"

"Course not!" the younger man smiled "Unless... Unless you don't want to be with me no more?" he asked, suddenly anxious. He hadn't considered that maybe this time the builder would finally have gotten fed up with him "I wouldn't blame you if you didn't, I know I'm not exactly low maintenance..."

"Oh shut up you muppet! You know I'm in this for as long as you'll have me." Jackson replied fondly reaching out to comfortingly squeeze Aaron's hand.

The teenager looked down to where the older man's hand covered his own. The builder, suddenly becoming aware of where they were and that people were watching, went to draw back his arm, afraid that he'd just messed up again, but Aaron caught hold of him and allowed their fingers to entwine.

"It's been too long since we touched... Let them look and think whatever they want." he murmured as he gazed into the warm brown eyes he'd missed so much.

"Aaron... I'm so, so sorry about what happened, I didn't mean to give that away... I just... No, I don't have any excuses. I should've been more careful with what I was saying." Jackson said turning his head away, unable to look his boyfriend in the eye.

The younger man sighed "I'm not gunna pretend that I weren't upset... That I still am upset by it. That stuff was private, between you an me... I know it shouldn't have bothered me so much people knowing... I mean if they thought about it at all they 'ad a fifty-fifty chance of being right... And now that it's out there... Well I kinda don't really care as much as I thought I would... The way you make me feel matters more to me than what everyone else thinks... Not having you there these past couple of days made me finally realise that. It's just that... That..."

"That I said something that you'd trusted me not to." the builder finished for him.

Aaron laughed drawing a curious look from Jackson.

"Sorry... I was just thinking earlier that if I didn't know any better I'd swear you were reading my mind sometimes!" the teenager smiled back.

"That would imply that there was actually something to read!" the older man replied cheekily.

"Urm... Have you forgotten that I'm pissed off with ya? Maybe I _should_ dump ya if you're gunna be mean!"

The grin vanished off Jackson's face and he looked wretchedly down at the table.

"Hey!" Aaron exclaimed, reaching over with his free hand to gently lift his boyfriend's chin so that he could look him in the eye again "That was just a joke... I guess everyone's right when they say you're the funny one in this relationship!"

The builder managed a small smile at that "I know... It's just that... I dunno how to make things right! It's not like I can just magically make you trust me again is it? I just wish I could go back in time and tell myself to keep me big gob shut!"

"But then I wouldn't know how amazing you think my arse is would I?" the younger man teased.

"Err... I believe I've told you that on many occasion actually!" Jackson laughed.

"Only when there wasn't much blood going to yer brain so they don't count." Aaron countered with a smirk.

The two men regarded one another in amusement for a couple of seconds before the reality of their situation settle on them once again.

"Seriously Jackson... Just be yerself and give me some time, you don't need to do any more than that. Oh... Apart from maybe not telling Scarlett anything else about me." the mechanic stated.

"You don't need to worry about that, I ain't never talking to her again after what she did." the builder scowled "What are you grinning about ?" he added on seeing the expression on Aaron's face.

"Told you she was horrible." the younger man said smugly.

"Yeah, but you say that about practically everyone."

The mechanic shrugged and grinned "Well you can't say that I was wrong this time."

Jackson just rolled his eyes in response.

"Just wish that Adam would see it... He's way to good for someone like her." Aaron sighed.

"Careful there or I might start getting jealous! Anyway, didn't you hear? He gave her the flick yesterday! They had a massive row in here about what happened the other night and he told her where to go!" the builder informed him.

The teenager's eyes widened in surprise "No way! Tell me everything!" he exclaimed eagerly.

"Thought you hated gossips?" the older man smirked.

The mechanic just glared at him until he gave in.

"Well they were sat over there..."

Jackson was in the middle of telling his story, Aaron having particularly enjoyed the part where Adam threw the majority of a pint of beer in Scarlett's face, when Cain and Zak walked in.

"OI! If you're okay to be in here pulling moon eyes at loverboy why aren't you in work?" Cain yelled across the room when he spotted his nephew, smirking in satisfaction when the teenager nearly jumped out of his seat in surprise.

He got a surprise himself when an annoyed Jackson yelled straight back at him "If you don't mind we're trying to 'ave a private conversation and we could do without you sticking yer oar in!"

"Ooo! Well pardon me madam I'm sure!" the older mechanic retorted prissily causing Zak to guffaw loudly from his place at the bar.

"D'you want to get out of here?" Jackson asked Aaron, noticing that his boyfriend was now glancing uncomfortably over at his relatives.

"Would you mind? They're just gunna start on me soon I can tell." the younger man answered with a sigh.

"Not a problem. I should probably be getting back on the job anyways." the builder said with a smile.

"Oh..." the mechanic frowned, disappointment clearly visible in his eyes "I thought maybe you could come back to mine for a bit... I could make you a sandwich seeing as you don't seem to 'ave 'ad your lunch?" he said with a look towards the now cold lasagne lying abandoned on the table.

"That'd be nice. Thank you." Jackson replied. It was what he'd hoped for but hadn't been brave enough to ask in case it turned out that Aaron still wanted space away from him.

They were walking towards the exit when Cain's voice stopped them in their tracks.

"I'll expect you in work early tomorrow Aaron, you owe me a lot of hours. Seven o'clock sharp."

The teenager groaned but knew better than to argue "Fine." he muttered at his uncle as he started towards the door again.

"Oh and Aaron?" the older man called innocently after him.

The young mechanic paused again and looked over his shoulder at his boss.

"I'll bring a nice soft cushion for you to sit on on your break."

Jackson cringed with guilt as he watched his lover's face flame crimson. He wanted to say something but he couldn't think of anything that would possibly be of any use. Help seemed to come from a somewhat unlikely source though.

"Now now Cain, we'll 'ave none o' this talk 'bout cushions, that ain't what the youngster needs to be 'earing right now." Zak chided his son.

The builder was about to thank the elder Dingle for standing up for Aaron when he unexpectedly continued, turning his attention to the teenager.

"What you be needing is an 'aemorrhoid pillow lad, our Lisa's got one that you can 'ave. I'll drop it by the garage for ya in the morning shall I?"

There was a moments silence before Cain and his father burst out laughing, clinking their pint glasses together merrily before taking a hearty draft of their beers.

Jackson saw a range of emotions cross Aaron's face, embarrassment, panic, annoyance and finally anger blazing in his eyes. The builder tensed, preparing to make a grab for the younger man when he went off on one, but what happened next came as a complete surprise to him and everyone else in the pub.

"Cheers Zak, that's very thoughtful of you." Aaron said sweetly "And seeing as you and Cain are so interested in my sex life how's about I get Jackson to video what he does to me later so's the two of you can give it a watch when you stop by tomorrow? You might learn something."

The two older men both simultaneously choked on their drinks, coughing and spluttering and spraying ale across the bar.

"We going or what?" the teenager asked turning to Jackson.

"Urm... Yeah sure... What was that?" the builder asked as they left the pub.

"What was what?"

"You know what!"

"They annoyed me." the mechanic said simply.

"Yeah I could see that... Looked like you were gunna clock someone!"

"Thought you didn't like it when punch stuff?"

"I don't. You know I hate violence." the builder answered.

"Well there's your answer to what that was then... Jackson friendly kicking off." Aaron replied with a wink.

"Ooookaaayy... Who are ya and what've you done with Aaron Livesy?" the older man laughed.

-x-x-

Jackson sat on one of the sofas in Smithy Cottage eagerly munching on a ham and mustard sandwich that Aaron had made for him. He was absolutely ravenous. He'd hardly had any appetite the past couple of days, but having a better idea of where he now stood with his boyfriend seemed to have solved that problem. The younger man was sat across from him, busy devouring a sandwich of his own, giving the builder the opportunity to study him more closely without being noticed. He looked like hell on two legs.

The teenager had lost weight since he last saw him, his cheekbones standing out more prominently in a face both pale and drawn. It was painfully obvious that he'd done a fair amount of crying and that he'd not been sleeping, his beautiful blue eyes now bloodshot and surrounded by dark, puffy bags. Jackson hated that he'd been the cause of the heartache that had led to such changes. He was supposed to take care of him and protect him, not cause him more hurt on top of everything that he'd suffered already in his short life.

But something beyond Aaron's appearance had changed. He seemed more... Comfortable with himself than before. The builder supposed that the teenager had been forced to come to terms with the fact that his sexuality and his preferences in the bedroom were now common knowledge around the village, and in doing so had realised that there wasn't really any more embarrassing information that could be revealed. Not on that front anyway.

Jackson was well aware that Aaron had plenty of other things that he didn't want people to know, but they were just thoughts, feelings and events from his past that were very unlikely to ever be brought to light. He knew that that was what had scared his lover so badly though... On various occasions, usually when they were lying together in bed, he had told the mechanic about his own life and pressed him to tell him more and more about himself, believing that the more they shared the better they'd be able to understand one another. Darkness and their intimacy lending him courage, Aaron had told him some of his most private secrets, both beautiful and dark, things that he would most likely never tell another living soul ever again. And, having found out all these things, Jackson had then gone and proven himself untrustworthy. It was evidence of how much the younger man had changed and grown that he was even talking to him after that, let alone making an effort to fix their relationship.

"What are you staring at?" Aaron asked curiously, interrupting his thoughts. Busted!

"My beautiful boyfriend." Jackson answered honestly.

"Don't be so soft!" the mechanic scoffed, but he couldn't hide the blush and the shy smile that silently spoke of how pleased he was with the compliment.

The older man was about to expand on his answer when Aaron's mouth cracked open in what had to be the biggest and most drawn out yawn he'd ever seen. When it was finally over the teenager looked slightly dazed and Jackson recognised exhaustion when he saw it.

"You need to get some sleep! Why don't you go up to bed?" the builder asked.

"I'll be fine! I'm not tired."

"You remember when I told you you're the worst liar I've ever met? Well you've not improved since then!" Jackson laughed.

"I guess I could maybe manage a bit of a nap." the younger man admitted grudgingly "But I ain't going to bed, it's the middle of the day! Only old people go to bed at this sort of time!"

"Well you are getting on a bit ya know..."

"Oi! You're way older than I am!"

"I'd hardly call three years 'way older' thank you very much!"

"You started it!" Aaron smirked just before he yawned for a second time.

"Fine! Well if you refuse to go up to bed then at least have a lie down on the couch?" the older man retorted.

"Okay." the teenager agreed, and with that he got out of his seat and came over to sprawl on the sofa.

"Err... What do ya think you're doing?" Jackson asked as Aaron's head came to rest on his thigh and an arm snaked around his waist.

"Getting comfortable." the younger man mumbled in reply.

"You can't use me as a pillow, I've got to get back to work!" the builder exclaimed.

"Mmm?" was the only response he received from his boyfriend who was already falling asleep.

"Well... Maybe just for five minutes, then I really have to go..." Jackson whispered, gently stroking Aaron's short hair as he let his head fall back against the cushions.

That was how Paddy found them an hour later when he came through from the surgery to make himself a cup of tea. He smiled at the sight of the two men fast asleep on the sofa, Aaron curled up by Jackson's side with his head in the builder's lap; Jackson with his arm's wrapped loosely round the younger man, and a happy smile on his face. The vet was glad that Chas wasn't there to see it or he would never, ever have heard the end of it.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

Jackson thought that he might go mad with frustration. He knew why Aaron was doing what he was doing but that didn't help in the slightest, he was still going to go insane if this went on much longer! Ever since emerging from his self imposed exile following The Scarlett Incident, the teenager had been keeping him at arms length. It was like their relationship had reverted to the state of friendship they'd been in before their first real kiss. They hung out together at Smithy or around the village, they went drinking together, ate together, laughed, chatted and argued together, but they never really touched anymore.

When they were in private the builder had gotten used to being able to hold his boyfriend's hand, to stroke his hair or any other part of his body that might take his fancy. Now though, Aaron seemed to be going out of his way to avoid such contact. If they watched a DVD the younger man would sit close enough to be companionable, but far enough away that Jackson would have had to sit awkwardly in order to reach over to him.

And the reverse was also true... The mechanic had quickly learnt exactly where Jackson liked to be touched, but now the older man knew not to expect to feel strong, rough fingers massaging the small of his back, or gently rubbing the sensitive skin just behind his ear. It made his heart ache. Kissing was a thing of the past too, reduced from the passion-filled, soul-searing moments they'd recently been sharing, to a quick peck on the cheek in greeting or in goodbye. And boy did there seem to be a lot of goodbyes as they were no longer spending their nights together. Every evening Jackson hoped that he'd finally get an invite upstairs, only to end up disappointed. Returning to his cold and lonely flat when he'd much rather have been squeezed into Aaron's uncomfortable single bed was getting very depressing indeed.

God how he missed the sex! With previous boyfriends sex had generally been good, but nothing like it was with Aaron. Even though the younger man was still inexperienced he somehow managed to be the best Jackson had ever had. There was a connection there that he'd never felt before, something that escalated even the merest brush of a hand or lips across his body into an earth shattering event. And it had just been getting better and better every time as they learnt more and more about each other's bodies. Loosing that was enough to make a man break down and cry.

Jackson knew that it was his own fault, and he knew that Aaron needed to learn to trust him again if there was any chance of them regaining what they'd had, but the younger man wasn't giving him any signs that this was happening. Just something small would've done, a tiny indication that they were making some sort of progress... A kiss on the lips instead of on the cheek, the touch of fingertips on an arm... Hell, he'd settle for sitting close enough together for their knees to nudge one another every so often, but no, there was just nothing. They may as well have just been mates for all that anyone could tell.

What made it even worse was that Aaron was clearly more comfortable with his sexuality than ever before. Just a couple of nights ago they'd been in Bar West when a man had hit on him, obviously not realising that he and Jackson were together given the gaping void between them. The builder had expected the teenager to freeze up uncomfortably like he normally did whenever anyone showed the slightest bit of interest in him, but instead he'd given the bloke a shy smile before informing him that he was there with his boyfriend. In Aaronworld that was equivalent to marching down the street blowing a whistle and waving a rainbow flag on the outness scale, and Jackson couldn't help but wonder what the teenager might have been up for if they were together like they used to be. Holding hands in front of people? Kissing in public? All those little coupley things that he'd spent so long wishing they could do now seemed as though they might have been within reach if only they were still touching one another in that way.

Maybe he was just feeling extra sorry for himself at the moment because today was his birthday. A couple of weeks ago he'd been thinking that this was going to be the best birthday he'd ever had. His only plan had been to wake up in the morning with Aaron beside him and to fall asleep at night with his lover in his arms, and that would have been enough. Instead he'd woken up alone to the sound of the binmen outside the window, and all he was going to get to wrap his arms around later was a pillow.

Aaron didn't even seem to consider the day to be particularly worthy of celebration. His suggestion for the evening had been to go for a drink in the Woolie then back to Smithy for something to eat and a DVD, something they'd done twice that week already. His only concession to it being a special day had been to say that he'd pay for a takeaway. Admittedly, twenty two wasn't exactly a landmark birthday or anything, but it still would've been nice if his boyfriend had made at least a little effort. Jackson couldn't figure out if this was an extension of the intimacy ban he was apparently under, or whether Aaron really did feel that a drink down the local and a night in front of the TV made for a memorable occasion.

Thankfully a couple of his mates had text him a little while ago to find out what his plans were, and once he'd told them of the excitement that Aaron had in store, they'd insisted on coming to rescue him. They were going to tag along to the Woolpack with him later and then 'drag' him back into town after a couple of drinks. He knew the mechanic would be less than thrilled when his friends turned up, especially Sol who could be a little...full on in the gayness department, but it was his birthday after all so Aaron would just have to put up with it. After all, if he wasn't prepared to step up and make an effort then he could hardly complain if someone else arranged something fun. Jackson was sure it would all be fine once they got into town anyway. He was actually quite excited about having a night out – if there was no chance of a birthday snog or some birthday sex then at least he had birthday drunkenness and birthday dancing to look forward to.

-x-x-

"Is this too small?" Aaron asked anxiously.

"No, no, that's perfect love!" Pearl reassured "Now just stick it in and start moving it around a bit."

Paddy paused as he walked passed the kitchen. Deciding that he really needed to find out exactly what he'd just heard was all about, and sincerely hoping that he wouldn't be scarred for life by what he discovered, he backtracked and stuck his head round the door.

"Urm... What's going on in 'ere?" he asked suspiciously.

"Nothing!" came Aaron's guilty sounding reply as he looked up from where he'd been scraping chopped onion into a pan.

"Doesn't look like nothing." the vet retorted as he took in the various ingredients and utensils scattered about the counter tops. "Pearl? Aren't you supposed to be in the office?" he continued, turning his attention to his receptionist.

"Oh! Well I was just giving young Aaron here a hand whilst it was quiet." the elderly woman blustered.

"A hand doing what exactly?" the vet enquired.

The teenager mumbled something that was lost in the sizzling of frying onions.

"What was that?"

"I said Pearl's showing me how to make shepherd's pie!" the mechanic bellowed in annoyance.

Paddy's face lit up "You're making dinner?"

"It's not for you!" Aaron answered hurriedly.

"You're making it just for yerself? You selfish so and so!" the older man exclaimed.

The younger man rolled his eyes "If you must know, it's Jackson's favourite. I'm making a surprise tea for 'is birthday. I told 'im I was just gunna get us a takeaway."

"Isn't that a lovely idea Paddy?" Pearl enthused.

"I know it's naff." the mechanic muttered "But I ain't got the money to take 'im out after buying 'is present."

"Aww don't be daft! Jackson's not the kind of lad to be impressed by fancy restaurants and whatnot! I reckon ee'll be well pleased that you've gone to all this effort just for him!" the vet reassured him with a smile.

Aaron blushed slightly and shrugged as he continued stirring his onions.

"Ooo it's going to be so romantic! Soft music, candlelight, wine-" Pearl said, clearly getting excited by the whole idea.

"Err... Lager." the teenager interrupted.

The older woman pulled a face "You have to have wine on a special occasion!"

The mechanic glared at her as if she'd gone completely off her rocker.

"She's right." Paddy threw in quickly before Aaron could say something rude "Don't you think it'd make a nice change? Make things a bit more memorable? There's a bottle in the fridge you can 'ave if you like?"

The younger man glanced between the two anxious looking adults, both of whom were obviously very keen for the evening to be a success "Fine! We'll have wine." he sighed in exasperation.

"Jolly good!" Pearl exclaimed "Now you need to add the mince to that dear." she added pointing at the frying pan "I'll be back through in a couple of minutes Paddy."

"No no! Take all the time you need!" the vet told her "I'm sure I can manage on me own until you're done with yer cooking lesson."

Ambling back to the surgery Paddy shook his head in wonder. The sight of Aaron cooking still struck him as bizarre, even after the past couple of months where it had become a fairly regular occurrence. And the fact that the teenager had apparently willing subjected himself to Pearl's company was another minor miracle in itself. There was nobody other than Jackson that Aaron would go to all this effort for, and the vet once again found himself thanking god that they were sorting things out between them. He also thanked god that the mechanic had asked Pearl for help with making tea as it greatly reduced the likelihood of the police turning up and arresting him for trying to poison his boyfriend.

-x-x-

Assessing himself critically in the mirror Aaron sighed in annoyance. He was sure it hadn't been this difficult deciding what to wear when he'd been telling himself that he was straight. Now no matter what he tried on didn't look how he wanted it to. It was really very frustrating. Jackson made looking good seem effortless. The man could probably make a bin liner look sexy. He on the other hand, would just look like a loser wearing a bin bag and would probably have to listen to people going on about how he could at least have ironed it before putting it on.

Discarding another top the teenager considered just going to meet his boyfriend naked. That was easy and he knew for a fact that the builder liked that particular look on him. Smirking to himself at the thought he grabbed yet another shirt from the wardrobe and wondered whether the colour went okay with his jeans. Then he wondered how the hell you decided whether or not two colours went together. With a groan he added the garment to the reject pile. All he wanted was to look nice for Jackson on his birthday, to show him that he'd made an effort, because tonight was going to be the night.

Ever since what had happened with Scarlett, Aaron had been scared to let Jackson get too close. They'd fallen asleep together on the sofa that afternoon they'd talked, but when they'd woken up later there was an awkwardness between them that he'd never experienced before. Touching or being touched by the older man had just felt kind of weird... It made him tense up. Jackson was his best mate, but suddenly it was almost like they were strangers physically. He had the same sort of feeling if random men got touchy-feely when giving him the come on. It was so uncomfortable that he'd hardly been able to bring himself to touch Jackson since, let alone kiss him properly or sleep with him. He knew that it frustrated his lover, could see the pain in his eyes when he gave him a kiss on the cheek instead of the lips, saw the sadness when he was sent home at night rather than being taken upstairs to bed.

Aaron was just as frustrated though. He wanted Jackson so badly, but it was like he was trapped behind glass, a barrier between them that he didn't know how to break. He'd hoped that it would just disappear in a couple of days, but after the best part of a week things were the same and it was really, really worrying him. What if he took too long to get over it? Would Jackson get tired of waiting and move on? The builder had said he'd be there for as long as he wanted him, but what if he took their lack of intimacy as a sign that Aaron _didn't _want him?

Things had finally started to change the night before last though, when they'd been for a few drinks in Bar West. It was nice being in the place that they'd first met and spent many happy hours in since. He felt a sort of warmth inside as he sat there remembering how foolishly he'd acted and how patient Jackson had been with him; how patient Jackson was _still_ being with him.

It had taken him a second to realise that someone was talking to him. Blinking away the memories he'd found a tall, good looking man leaning casually on the table chatting to him about something or other. He had no idea what the bloke was on about, but when he suddenly offered to buy him a drink it clicked as to what was going on. He was being chatted up!

He couldn't believe that someone would try and make a move on him with Jackson sat right across the table! It was flattering but highly embarrassing. He'd thanked him for the offer and, nodding towards Jackson, had told him that he was there with his boyfriend. The man had got all flustered at that, apologised quickly and then hurried off. Aaron had turned to the builder to make a joke but the look on the older man's face stopped him from opening his mouth. He'd never seen that particular expression on Jackson before, but having seen it in the mirror a few times he knew exactly what it was. Jackson was jealous!

The teenager had been confused. Blokes had tried chatting him up before and Jackson had never got jealous of any of them. In fact he usually found it highly entertaining and would spend a good portion of the night making very unfunny jokes about the whole thing. He just couldn't see why this time was any different. But there it was, clear, unmistakable jealousy! The way his boyfriend was watching him was making his skin tingle and causing his stomach to turn somersaults. Aaron had to clutch the edge of his seat as he was gripped by the almost irresistible urge to throw himself across the table and ravish the older man. Who would've known that jealousy could be such a turn on! The wall had started to melt and he knew then that everything was going to be alright.

Aaron smiled at himself in the mirror as he finally settled on a soft grey shirt. Yep, tonight he had his boyfriend all to himself and he was going to wine and dine him and then show him, as many times as possible before they were both exhausted, that all was forgiven.

* * *

_Let me know if you like it :) Hope those of you in the UK are looking forward to the extended bank holiday! xx_


	28. Chapter 28

_So I did have grand plans of writing maybe 3 chapters this weekend, but sadly my laptop obviously had other ideas as it's taken to crashing every 10 minutes or so :( I've been reduced to reading FF on my phone which has a screen the size of a postage stamp *cry*_

_Still, I've managed to squeeze this one out of it by using pen and paper (horror of horrors) and then madly typing up between blue screens of death :-s I've tried my best to proof read but have given up now! Hope you enjoy and I'll keep trying to figure out why this stupid machine hates me and ressume normal service ASAP!_

**Chapter 28**

"PADDY! I'M OFF!" Aaron yelled as he hurried down the stairs. There was no answer. The house was quiet and the surgery was locked up. Glancing at the time the teenager realised that he was running late and that chances were the vet would already be down the pub for a post-work drink with Rhona. It had taken him much longer than he'd intended getting ready, wanting to make sure that he looked as good as possible for Jackson. He probably shouldn't have put so much effort into picking his outfit given that he didn't intend on wearing clothes for too long that night he thought with a laugh.

Nipping into the kitchen he quickly made sure that Paddy hadn't happened to his shepherd's pie whilst his back was turned, and satisfied that it was still intact he grabbed his keys and let himself out of the house before setting off down the hill. He was in such a good mood! He had everything planned perfectly... Well, apart from the running late, but that might actually work better than his original scheme.

He had intended on already being in the pub when Jackson turned up so that he could greet him with a birthday kiss to set the tone for the evening. He could still do that obviously, but Jackson was bound to already be there by now, and given the way their relationship had kind of been in standby mode recently, maybe wondering whether or not he was actually going to turn up. That would make the kiss all the more special when he walked straight up to him and did it in front of everyone.

Aaron could just picture the look on the builder's face. It was going to be priceless! He was nervous about the prospect of such a public display of affection, but that was more than offset by the desire to once more get his lips and hands and other other parts of his body on his boyfriend. It had been way, way, _way_ too long! He just couldn't seem to keep the grin off his face and he had to try hard not to bounce down the road like a giddy school girl.

He wouldn't have thought that anything could snap him out of his cheerfulness, but as soon as he got within sight of the pub his good mood evaporated like morning dew. His boyfriend was standing outside in the sunshine sipping on a pint which would have been fine if it weren't for the fact that he wasn't alone. There was a large black guy who he didn't recognise stood with him and a smaller bloke that the teenager thought he might have met a couple of times in Bar West. Why were Jackson's mates here when it was just supposed to be the two of them?

"Who are these?" Aaron asked the builder with a frown as he walked up to the group.

"Hey!" the older man greeted him with a smile "This is Sol and you've met Joe."

"What are they doin' 'ere?" the mechanic growled.

Jackson studied him for a second with a surprised look on his face "They're here to celebrate my birthday! That's what mates do... We thought we'd have a couple here then head into town."

The teenager glared at him "Thought you were coming back to mine... That it was just gunna be you and me?"

"We were just going to be getting a takeaway and watching a film Aaron! This way we can go out, have some fun!"

"You saying that hanging out with me's not fun?"

"That's not what I said!" the builder exclaimed in exasperation.

"Sounded like it." Aaron muttered.

"For crying out loud-" Jackson started to say.

"I'm going to get a drink." the mechanic interrupted, not wanting to listen to any more, and with that he headed towards the entrance to the bar.

"Nice shirt." Sol whispered sarcastically as he walked past the taller man. He paused to glower at him, but Jackson's friend just smirked and moved towards the builder. Aaron looked across and met his boyfriend's gaze, receiving a scowl of annoyance for his trouble, the older man clearly pissed off with him. 'Good' he thought as he walked into the Woolie 'Now he knows how I feel.'

He was standing at the bar waiting to be served when Paddy sidled up to him.

"I'm guessing from that face that you've spoken to Jackson?" the vet asked nervously.

"Yeah." the teenager replied.

"And I'm guessing you're not best pleased?"

"What do you think?" Aaron snapped.

"Well... That's the trouble with trying to surprise someone though isn't it? It doesn't always work out but-" the older man began.

"Ee didn't even call me or text me to say ee was doing something different! Could've saved meself a whole lot of trouble if ee'd actually thought to let me know. Knew I shouldn't've bothered..."

"Don't say that! It were a lovely idea! Why don't you just tell 'im what you had planned? I'm sure Jackson would much rather spend the evening with you than go clubbing.

"Pfft!" Aaron scoffed at that comment "That were what ee thought we were doing anyway and it didn't stop 'im arranging to go out with 'is mates!"

"Yeah but ee doesn't know that you went to the trouble to make 'is favourite tea does he? Ee just thought you were going to grab a takeaway... I mean you did that yesterday didn't you? Ee probably didn't think you'd mind doing something different tonight."

"Well if ee'd bothered to ask me then ee would've found out that I do mind!"

"Just go and tell 'im now then! It's not too late!"

"No! I ain't telling 'im about it with those mates of his around! I ain't making a fool out of meself in front of 'em, they already don't like me, I don't need 'em thinking I'm some saddo on top of that!"

"Aaron! Why can't-"

The vet was interrupted by Jackson walking into the bar.

"Aaron, taxi's here! You ready?" the builder asked.

"Nah I'm not gunna bother." the teenager replied.

"Ya what? It's 'is birthday!" Paddy exclaimed "You've got to go!"

"I don't fancy a night on the lash!" Aaron retorted angrily.

He and Jackson stood there glaring at one another whilst Paddy hovered to one side looking awkwardly between them.

"Just forget it." the builder muttered turning away "I'll see you tomorrow. Or not."

"You are unbelievable!" Paddy hissed once Jackson was gone "Here I was thinking you'd grown up a bit and then you go and act like a spoilt brat!"

"But this is all his fault!" the teenager asserted in annoyance.

"The only thing that ee's done is try to have a good birthday! You're the one throwing a hissy fit 'cause you didn't get to do what you wanted! There were nowt stopping you going with Jackson and enjoying yourself, but no, you couldn't manage that, you 'ad to go and ruin his night for 'im instead!"

The vet was saved from whatever ear bashing Aaron was about to deliver by Moira coming over to ask the younger man what he wanted to drink.

"Nowt. I ain't staying." he muttered in reply before stomping out of the pub.

"More trouble in paradise I take it?" the woman asked Paddy.

"When is there anything but?" the vet responded with a sigh.

"Well... They do have their moments. They actually make a lovely couple when...they're not at each other's throats."

"You mean when Aaron's not being a moody git?"

"Your words not mine!" Moira answered innocently.

"I'd best go after 'im I suppose, make sure ee doesn't so anything daft like kicking a wall and breaking a toe. See ya later."

"See you Paddy, have a good night!" the woman said with a laugh.

The vet jogged home and just managed to catch up to Aaron before he reached the front door.

"Aaron-"

"Why are you following me?" the mechanic snapped.

"Err... 'Cause I live in the same 'ouse as you!" Paddy replied reasonably "Listen... Why don't you ring Jackson?"

"I already did." the younger man admitted quietly "Ee's not answering."

"Oh... Well maybe a bit later when ee's 'ad a chance to calm down?"

"Yeah maybe." Aaron said sounding dejected.

"It'll be fine! How about a game of monster hunter in the meantime? Or we could have some of that shepherd's pie?" Paddy asked hopefully.

"Come on then, I'll thrash ya! And you leave that pie alone or else!" the teenager laughed.

-x-x-

A couple of hours of Xbox later and Aaron seemed to be in a better mood. Paddy threw his controller onto the coffee table in disgust.

"You must be cheating! There's just no other way you could beat me every single time!" the vet complained.

"You wanna know my secret to winning?" the mechanic whispered, looking suspiciously around the room as if unseen ears might be listening in on the conversation.

"I knew it! Go on tell me!" the older man replied excitedly.

"Always make sure you play against someone crap." Aaron said seriously.

Paddy glared at him with a frown "I am not crap! I have some major skills!"

"Skills?" the teenager laughed "You don't even 'ave the skill to lose with dignity and god knows you've 'ad enough practise to be a master at it by now!"

The vet folded his arms and sat back sulkily "You given any more thought to calling Jackson again?" he asked.

"Ee's turned 'is phone off." the younger man said with a sigh without thinking what he was saying.

"Ah ha!" Paddy whooped "So you 'ave tried phoning 'im again? I knew you wouldn't be able to resist!"

Aaron blushed guiltily at having given himself away "Fat lot of good it did!" he grumbled "Ee obviously doesn't want to 'ave anything more to do with me if ee's switched 'is phone off does ee?"

"He's just upset... Why don't you go find 'im and explain things. Apologise. I'm sure ee'll understand."

"Dunno where they've gone." the teenager muttered.

"Do you two actually go anywhere other than Bar West?" the vet asked.

The mechanic pulled a face at him "Sometimes!"

"Well it's worth a try at least isn't it?"

"I dunno Paddy... I'll probably just go and make things worse, you know what I'm like..." Aaron sighed.

"You'll do fine if yer honest. Just tell 'im the truth and tell 'im how you feel!" the older man pleaded.

"But Paddy..." the teenager whined.

"Look at it like this... What'd ya rather be doing tonight – sitting 'ere listening to me going on at ya about sorting things out with Jackson, or actually sorting things out with 'im so that you can end up... Doing whatever it is that the two of ya get up to that makes you make those sort of moany, groany noises at two in the morning?" the vet asked trying to keep a straight face.

Aaron stared at him in open mouthed horror.

"What you looking at me like that for? It's not my fault I've got ears!" Paddy chuckled.

The younger man groaned and hid his face in his hands in embarrassment causing the vet to burst out laughing.

"Oh your face! I wish I 'ad a camera on me! Come on mate, I were only joking! I only 'eard you the one time and that was when I were on me way downstairs for a glass of water. You're not that loud!" Paddy reassured in between gasps for breath. Now he'd have to remember to hide the earplugs he'd invested in shortly after Jackson had started staying over, but sometimes lying was necessary for survival.

Aaron's head snapped up and blue eyes glowered at him "Git." he muttered.

"So do you want a lift into town or what?" the older man asked calming down.

The teenager regarded him warily for a few seconds before getting up and moving towards the stairs "I'll get me coat."

Paddy watched his retreating back fondly.

"There ya go ya see?" he said to nobody in particular "Major skills."

-x-x-

Jackson was having a great night. At first he thought that it'd be impossible to enjoy himself after what had happened with Aaron, but large amounts of alcohol seemed to have solved all his troubles. He really hadn't expected the mechanic to react the way he had to a couple of his mates turning up and the suggestion that they go into town. He had no idea what had gotten into the younger man, but he was determined to enjoy his birthday, so if Aaron wanted to act like a complete arse then he could go ahead for all he cared right now. He'd turned his phone off after ignoring a couple of calls that he'd received from his boyfriend, knowing that if he answered it would just lead to an argument which he could really do without.

A few more of his friends had been in Bar West when they'd arrived which was a nice surprise, and so far he'd been plied with celebratory drinks, fleeced a couple of lesbians on the pool table out of the cost of a round of cocktails, and taken a few turns on the dance floor with his mates. It was pretty busy for a Thursday night which surprised the builder, until a god awful racket assailed his ears and he realised that it was karaoke night.

Every time the group were in the same room as a microphone after having a few beers, Sol started to inform anyone who'd listen that he was channelling Aretha Franklin and would insist on getting up on stage and singing 'Respect'. Unfortunately the large man had a voice like an injured donkey trapped down a well which was why everyone was currently wincing in pain whilst simultaneously trying not to wet themselves with laughter.

Jackson was queuing up at the bar when he was surprised by a voice in his ear.

"That has got to be the worst rendition of that song that I have heard in my entire life!"

The builder turned to find a pair of green eyes just inches away from his own. Pulling back slightly he smiled politely at the man who'd been speaking.

"That's my mate! And if you'd known him as long as I have you'd know it could be a hell of a lot worse!" he replied.

The guy laughed at that. He was tall, a little older... Maybe twenty five or twenty six, with mussed up blonde hair.

"I'm Garry." he introduced himself, holding out a hand "My mates call me Gaz... Wait... That sounded really cheesy didn't it? It sounded way better in my head!"

"Not to worry!" Jackson grinned, shaking the offered hand briefly "I'm Jackson."

"Oh... As in Pollock?" Garry asked.

"Err... Yeah, exactly as in Pollock actually. I usually get 'As in Michael?'"

"I can imagine!" the older man laughed again "I'm an art teacher." he added by way of explanation.

"My mum's an art teacher!" the builder exclaimed.

"Ouch! Comparing me to your mum? That's harsh man!" Gaz replied looking wounded.

"Trust me, you ain't nothing like me mum! If you were, you'd be drunk by now and asking every bloke in here to pose nude for you!" Jackson chuckled remembering the last time Hazel had gone with him on a night out.

"Funnily enough that was going to be my next question!" the teacher winked at him.

The younger man blushed uncomfortably as he realised that Garry was flirting with him. He had no problems with being friendly, but despite the way things had been going he had absolutely no interest in anyone other than Aaron.

Gaz must've noticed his expression "Sorry…" he apologised "That was kinda forward of me! I was just kidding mate, I'm not that sleazy!"

"It's okay." Jackson replied with a laugh "Just… Took me a bit by surprise I guess! I should probably tell ya that I have a boyfriend…"

It was the teacher's turn to laugh "I should've figured! They do say that the best guys are either taken or gay… Or both in this case! So where's yer other half tonight?" he queried looking around "Do I need to worry if keep chatting to you?"

The builder grimaced at the question of where his boyfriend was.

"Oh… Touchy subject?" Garry asked.

"You could say that… It's me birthday night out and ee's sat at home sulking about god knows what." Jackson sighed.

"No way! Well that sucks! Let me buy you a birthday drink to cheer you up a bit… And I'll keep ya company for a while unless you have better things to do? Always good to make new friends…"

"Thanks." the younger man smiled "I can stick around for a bit, I'm sure my mates'll come find me if they want me!"

Half an hour later he and Gaz were still propped up against the bar laughing and nattering away. They seemed to have a lot in common and the art teacher was really easy to talk to. It made a nice change to chat to someone who was so self confident and sure of themselves. Someone who, unlike the rest of his mates, didn't already have an opinion of him and his life.

If you'd asked him six months ago Jackson would've said that Garry was just his type, but a lot could change in six months. Now… Well, now everyone had to measure up to Aaron. Staring at the man in front of him all he could think about was his boyfriend and how he was missing him right now. Here there was no cute confusion, no shy, sweet smiles, no dark, lingering lust-filled gazes, no history, no _connection_. Garry was just another guy, nice enough maybe, but there were a hundred like him in this bar alone... There was simply nothing special about him.

He was about to excuse himself to go and find his friends, intending on letting them know that he was heading back to Emmerdale to face his problems, but Garry must have misinterpreted his thoughtful silence and the look he'd been giving him. Before he knew what was happening the other man had leaned forward and was kissing him.

It was a shock feeling the lips of someone other than Aaron on his own, and it just drove home his complete lack of interest in anyone other than the young mechanic. When Aaron kissed him it was like... It was like he was a lightning rod and the teenager was a roiling storm cloud of pent up energy... He grounded the younger man and in doing so became charged himself, alive in a way he'd never imagined he could feel before. This kiss with Gaz... Well, he may as well have been kissing his aunt Polly for all it was doing for him.

Jackson pushed the older man away roughly and took a step back "What you doing? I told you I have a boyfriend!"

"I... But..." was all Garry managed to get out.

The builder glared at him "I thought you just wanted to be mates!" he muttered angrily "I have to go."

Turning away Jackson walked straight into someone who'd been standing just behind him. Opening his mouth to apologise to the man he'd collided with, the words died on his lips as he looked into deep blue eyes.

"Aaron..." he gasped.


	29. Chapter 29

_Right! Windows reinstalled (thank you Sam for the kind offer of help!), laptop apparently working (for now) so all systems are finally go... Even brain seems to have engaged for once! :) And I'm actually in a good mood so Soapie, Shawny and irishgal finally get their wish from back at the start of April! Hope this meets with your approval :D x_

**Chapter 29**

Aaron trotted down the stairs that led into Bar West. He was nervous about what sort of reception he was in for and it was causing him some serious butterflies. The day had turned into one big mess, and whilst both he and Jackson each had reason to be annoyed with the other, the builder wasn't actually aware that he'd done anything to upset his boyfriend so was probably just thinking the worst of him.

"That's the last time I try to surprise anyone." the teenager muttered under his breath as he pushed through the door.

He was surprised by how busy the place was, Thursdays weren't usually this packed. Just what he needed when he wasn't even sure that Jackson was in here! With a sigh he edged into the crowd, trying his best to avoid the dance floor. He could really do without someone stamping on his foot or elbowing him in the stomach. The mood he was in he'd probably snap and do something he'd end up regretting.

Finding a fairly good vantage point he scanned the room for his boyfriend. He wasn't at the pool table, people seemed to be lined up three deep at the bar making it hard to pick anyone out, and there was no sign of him at any of the tables as far as he could see. It was just his luck that when he desperately wanted to find Jackson, the older man had switched his phone off and didn't appear to be in his usual haunt. Aaron wasn't even sure he could find any of the other bars and clubs that the builder had dragged him to in the past few months, so if they weren't here he was pretty much screwed.

He was about to give the whole thing up as a pointless waste of time when he heard a loud, excited squeal coming from a far corner that sounded horribly like Sol. Edging a little further around the room he spotted a group of Jackson's friends seated in a booth that had been hidden from view behind a pillar. His boyfriend wasn't with them though. The mechanic groaned in annoyance… He now had to choose between pushing through the crowded room in the vague hope of running into Jackson, or swallowing his pride and going to ask the condescending twits in the corner where he could find him.

As Aaron stood trying to decide what to do, the song that was playing came to an end and he was surprised when it wasn't replaced immediately by another. Instead there were a few seconds of silence before a voice came over the speakers calling someone called Jenna to the stage. A spotlight flashed on illuminating a middle aged woman holding a microphone climbing up onto a small raised platform off to one side of the room. The teenager grimaced as music started to play and he realised that it was karaoke night.

Well that explained why the place was so busy. For reasons he couldn't even begin to understand, karaoke night always seemed to be popular. Why anyone would willing subject themselves to being stared at by everyone, or to listening to the generally dreadful singing, was beyond him. Still, the sudden rush off the dance floor as people made for the bar, chairs and toilets was enough to make up his mind on what to do. With everyone milling about all over the place he had no chance of finding Jackson without help. Grinding his teeth in frustration he headed over to where Joe, Sol and a few other of his boyfriend's mates were sat.

Aaron could tell by the way that his eyes suddenly widened that Joe was the first to see him. The short man had elbowed Sol in the ribs and nodded in his direction, and soon the entire group was staring at him as he made his way over. Some of them were glaring at him with undisclosed animosity, a couple just looked curious, but Sol was smirking nastily and practically rubbing his hands together in glee.

"Jackson's at the bar." the black man blurted out before Aaron even had a chance to speak. Joe smacked his mate in the arm and gave him a look which the mechanic didn't understand.

"Err... Cheers." the teenager said, surprised at being able to get away without having to go through the humiliation of begging one of them to tell him where his own boyfriend was.

"Wait!" Joe exclaimed as he was turning to leave.

"What?" Aaron asked with a frown.

The other man looked like he was trying hard to say something but finally gave up.

"Nothing. Sorry." he muttered with a sigh.

The mechanic shrugged and hurried away. The sooner he was away from that lot the better as far as he was concerned.

The bar was a lot less busy than a few minutes ago, the staff obviously having been working hard to deal with the rush. Still, there were enough people queuing that he couldn't see Jackson right away. After a minute of trying to peer between bodies and craning his neck to see over heads, Aaron spotted the builder leaning against the far end of the bar, and started to push his way toward him. For a second he thought that his boyfriend was waiting to be served, but as the older man raised a hand to swig from a bottle, he realised that he was just stood talking to the bloke next to him.

Aaron didn't know all of Jackson's mates, but if the blonde guy he was chatting to was one of them, why were they stood at the busy bar drinking when they could've been over in the booth with everyone else? He suddenly had an unpleasant feeling in the pit of his stomach, Jackson's comment earlier about maybe not seeing him tomorrow and Sol's enthusiasm for pointing him in this direction making a horrible kind of sense as he watched the two men laughing together.

Needing to know what exactly was going on, praying that his sudden suspicions were unfounded, the mechanic ploughed forward, forcing his way urgently through the crowd. He was just a few of feet away when the blonde man leaned forward and kissed Jackson. Aaron froze feeling like someone had punched him in the gut. He'd watched people hitting on his boyfriend before now, the older man was after all, incredibly hot and incredibly nice, but he'd never seen someone kissing him. If anyone had asked him how he thought he'd react to such an event, he wouldn't have hesitated to say that he'd kick the person's head in. But now that he was actually faced with it he couldn't even move.

Part of him wanted to scream, another wanted to smash everything he could lay his hands on, and yet another just wanted curl up and cry. He couldn't believe that Jackson would do this to him. Even as that thought passed through his head though, the builder was shoving the guy away and stepping back.

"What you doing? I told you I have a boyfriend!" Aaron heard him bark at the blonde man who was now looking anxious.

"I... But..." was the only response.

"I thought you just wanted to be mates!" Jackson muttered sounding incredibly pissed off.

The teenager suddenly felt anger rushing through him at what had just happened. Clearly the bloke had taken advantage of Jackson's amicable nature. Despite having been told that he wasn't available, the blonde had still kissed him. Kissed _his_ boyfriend! He could feel his body trembling as he tried to control himself, because right now he really did want to kick the guy's head in. But if he did that Jackson would get upset, and he'd already upset him more than enough for one day as it was. It was really difficult though, he could see the edges of his vision going red as he glared at the man.

He was so consumed with keeping a handle on his temper that it came as a shock when someone walked straight into him. Tearing his gaze away from the bloke that had kissed Jackson, he found himself looking into familiar brown eyes which widened in shock.

"Aaron…" the builder gasped in surprise.

Just that one word was enough to bank the fires of his rage, Jackson somehow magically calming him down as usual. The roaring in his ears subsided and he felt capable of stringing together a rational thought beyond what he wanted to do with his fists.

"Don't kick off… Please." the older man begged him quietly, placing his hands on his chest as if to hold him back.

"I ain't gunna... Though I ain't gunna lie and say I don't want to." the mechanic ground out.

Aaron glowered across at the blonde man who was watching the two of them nervously. The guy seemed to recoil at the look he gave him, presumably realising that person giving him evils was the boyfriend he'd so conveniently forgotten about, and quickly turned and hurried off towards the exit. The teenager smirked to himself in satisfaction as his eyes settled once again on Jackson's worried looking face.

It struck him just how close they were now standing. Even in the warm air of the bar he could feel the heat coming off the builder's body, and where the older man's hands still pressed against him, he'd swear that the skin beneath his t-shirt was burning. They hadn't been this close in what felt like years rather than the week or so it had actually been, and it was making it hard to think clearly. All the pent up desire that had been temporarily pushed aside by the events of the day came flooding back as he gazed at his boyfriend. He wanted him so very badly.

Maybe he could feel his heart pounding, or maybe he recognised the flare of lust that Aaron figured must be clearly visible on his face for everyone to see, but whatever it was Jackson's eyes suddenly widen and his tongue darted out to lick his lips. That small action was enough to have the teenager wrapping himself around his lover possessively, his mouth homing in on the older man's as he proceeded to kiss him as if his life depended on it. Somehow it felt even better than he remembered, something that he wouldn't have thought possible… The smell of him, the taste of him, the feel of him… It was all so familiar but at the same time felt new and exciting… It was almost worth a week's worth of sexual frustration… Only almost though!

Jackson broke the kiss, pulling back to give him an amused smile.

"You gunna pee on me leg now?" he laughed.

"Err… Eh?" Aaron asked in confusion. His brain felt fuzzy and he wondered if he'd missed something.

"Marking yer territory!" the builder answered with a wink.

"Oh… Don't think I need to. Ee seems to've got the message." the younger man said smugly.

Jackson looked over his shoulder at the now vacant spot that Garry had occupied and snorted in amusement "Can't say as I blame 'im… Think most people'd scarper at the sight of your ugly mug!"

"Shame Sol and Joe didn't earlier!" the mechanic grinned.

He knew he'd said the wrong thing almost as soon as the words were out of his mouth. Jackson's expression went sour and he pushed himself out of Aaron's arms.

"What is your problem with my mates?" the builder exclaimed "All they've done is try to give me a good birthday and you go off on one about it! Why couldn't you just have just come and at least tried to have a good time? I wanted you here but you couldn't even do that for me on me birthday! Why've you got to be so selfish?"

Aaron winced to hear his fears confirmed - Jackson thought he was a crappy boyfriend. He'd tried to be nice and thoughtful with his birthday surprise, but when things hadn't gone his way he'd pulled his usual stroppy teenager routine and now he was having to deal with the fallout. He could feel his temper building and tried his best to squash it back down, knowing that snapping at the older man would just make things even worse.

"Jackson I'm sorry about earlier, and I-" he started to apologise.

"You're always sorry! Every time ya do something like this you're sorry about it and muggins 'ere just rolls over and accepts it!" the builder was practically yelling at him now "How about next time you're going to do something you know you'll regret, just for once try not doing it eh? That way I won't have to get pissed off and you won't have to say sorry afterwards!"

The mechanic stared at his feet not knowing what to do. Jackson wasn't saying anything that he hadn't thought of himself on more than one occasion, and he really had been trying his best to think before acting or speaking, but it was hard to change something that had become second nature over the years. He thought he'd been making progress recently... He'd not punched out that guy tonight for instance, but obviously it wasn't enough. And apparently apologising when he messed up was also getting on his boyfriend's nerves. He was well and truly stuck... He didn't appear to be able to do much without upsetting Jackson, and now he couldn't even say sorry for doing something wrong without upsetting Jackson further.

"I... I guess I should just go." he muttered despondently.

-x-x-

Jackson felt horrible as soon as he'd finished his rant. He wasn't even sure where it had come from! Yes, Aaron could be incredibly frustrating sometimes, but he knew the teenager was trying hard to change, to be a better person, and that mostly he was putting in that effort to please him. The last thing the mechanic needed was his supposedly supportive boyfriend shouting at him in the middle of a bar about his inadequacies. Alcohol again... This was the second time now he'd gotten drunk and said something in relation to Aaron he wished he hadn't, and here he was going off on the younger man for not learning from his mistakes!

"Look... _I'm_ sorry okay?" he said to the dejected youth "I've had way too much to drink to be talking about this sort of stuff... If it makes ya feel any better I know I'm really gunna regret what I've just said in the morning. Thank you for coming out to apologise, I do appreciate it... I just wish sometimes..." he trailed off realising that he again hadn't intended on saying that last part.

"You wish what?" Aaron prodded anxiously.

"Sometimes I wish it was more than just words..." Jackson sighed.

"Well maybe I could do something to show you how sorry I am?" the teenager asked hopefully.

The builder couldn't help but smirk as he thought about the ways they'd made up after previous arguments.

"I didn't mean that!" the mechanic blushed, obviously reading his expression all too well "I meant something... I dunno... Just something to show ya how much you mean to me."

The older man smiled at him. He could tell Aaron that what he'd just said showed him that perfectly well, but he didn't think he'd believe him.

"Honestly Aaron, you don't have to do anything-" he started to say.

"I know." the teenager butted in "But I want to. Come on... There must be something? I'll do anything if it'll help."

Jackson really couldn't think of anything but he knew that Aaron wouldn't be happy until he'd given him something at least.

"Erm... Buy me a drink?" he ventured.

The younger man pulled a face "I get ya drinks all the time, it ain't much of a grand gesture is it?"

The builder looked around for inspiration, but a crowded pub wasn't exactly the greatest source of ideas. Not until his gaze alighted on the stage where a couple of students were massacring an Abba song that is.

"Sing for me?" he tried this time.

A look of horror spread across Aaron's face at that "You're not serious?" he gasped.

"Well you did say anything... And I would quite like a birthday song..." Jackson replied, somehow managing to keep a straight face.

The mechanic stared at the people doing karaoke with an agonised expression on his face.

"I... I have to go." he choked before turning and making a dash for the door.

"Aaron! Aaron wait! I was only..." Jackson cried after him "... Kidding." he finished lamely as he watched his boyfriend disappear up the stairs.

His first instinct was to go after him like he always did, and he was halfway to the exit without even realising it when the irritation set in. Aaron had said he'd do anything by way of an apology, and whilst the suggestion that the teenager sing him something had just been a joke, it didn't really seem like it would've been that much to ask if he'd meant it seriously. Yeah Aaron disliked being the centre of attention, and disliked being embarrassed even more, but he'd said himself that he wanted to make a grand gesture, and when had those ever been easy? All in all Jackson was thoroughly sick of this night, absolutely nothing seemed to be going right. Making a decision he swung round and headed back to his mates' table. He'd finish his drink with them then go home and sleep off the last twenty four hours. Tomorrow was soon enough to try to sort out the hideous mess his love life seemed to have become.

-x-x-

Outside Aaron leaned heavily against the wall of the alley next to the bar. He felt a little better in the cool night air, the urge to be sick slowly passing. He was ashamed to have run off again but he'd needed to get outside, away from the crowds, unsure what he might've done if the panic attack he'd felt coming on had hit fully whilst he was surrounded by people. Taking slow, calming breaths he couldn't help but feel embarrassed at the fact that the thought of getting up on that little stage and singing in front of packed bar had made him freak out completely.

He hated being the centre of attention, hated embarrassing himself and hated people laughing at him, all of which would happen if he did what Jackson had asked. But then he had said he would do anything to make his boyfriend believe that he was sorry for spoiling his birthday for him. How did he get himself into these messes?

There was no other option but to do it. If he chickened out then he would pretty much have broken a promise he'd made to Jackson. Even if the word promise hadn't actually been spoken that's what his declaration had been. Backing out would show that he didn't mean what he'd said when the fact was that he had. Every word. He would do _anything_ for Jackson. In the grand scheme of things looking like an idiot was a small price to pay if it meant he could fix things with his boyfriend. Now all he had to do was think of something to sing... Oh, and not faint or throw up.

A couple of minutes thought sorted out the first problem. With a few tweaks to the words he knew the perfect song... He wasn't sure about the other two issues though. He hoped someone would be close enough to the stage to catch him if he passed out, though he felt kind of sorry for that person should his other worry come to pass.

-x-x-

Jackson sat sipping his beer and listening to his friends going on at him about Aaron. He knew that they were only doing it because they cared about him, but it was starting to wear a little thin. Did they really think that making fun of the mechanic's clothes or his hair was going to make him suddenly realise that he'd made a terrible mistake in falling for younger man? Admittedly they had a point about Aaron being moody and rude, but they didn't seem to believe him when he told them that the teenager wasn't always like that and that he was incredibly sweet and kind more often then not... Around him at least!

"...he's okay looking if you like that sort of thing," Craig was saying "But his personality? Honestly Jack, what were you thinking?"

Jackson just shook his head as the rest of the group agreed.

"Didn't you put up with your last boyfriend stealing out of your wallet just because he had good hair?" he asked the other man.

Craig brushed the question aside with a wave of his hand "That's completely different... He had _really_ good hair and I'm tremendously shallow. You... Well you're the stereotypical nice guy. We just hate seeing you stuck with someone that doesn't appreciate you, you deserve so much better!"

The builder was about to tell him that if he thought Aaron didn't appreciate him then he had absolutely no idea what he was talking about, when the karaoke MC came on the speakers.

"And next up we have Aaron with a special birthday song for Jackson..."

Jackson thought that he was hearing things until Sol choked on his cocktail. Everyone in the booth looked at each other wide-eyed for a second before leaping to their feet and rushing to the railing overlooking the dance floor. Sure enough, on the stage opposite, Aaron was standing blinking owlishly in the spotlight, clutching a microphone at arms length as though it were a snake that might bite him at any moment. The teenager looked a little green and was visibly shaking as he nervously wet his lips, waiting for the music to start.

"Oh this is going to be so so good..." Sol breathed in delight.

Jackson could only stare in disbelief at what he was seeing. Around him people were drinking, chatting away and playing pool as if nothing was happening, as if the world hadn't been turned on it's head. He wanted to rush over and drag Aaron off the stage, tell him he didn't have to go through with it, but his legs just wouldn't move despite the fact that his boyfriend looked terrified. And then the music began to play and it was too late to save the younger man.

On the stage Aaron managed to wrestle the microphone closer to his face and opened his mouth... Jackson squeezed his eyes shut not wanting to watch.

_Everyday is so wonderful_  
_Then suddenly, it's hard to breathe._  
_Now and then I get insecure_  
_From all the pain. I'm so ashamed._

"That is _so_ not fair!" Sol muttered.

The builder's eyes snapped open again and he felt his jaw drop in amazement. Aaron could sing. And not just sing-along-to-the-radio sing, but proper sing! _Aaron_ of all people!

_I am beautiful no matter what they say,  
Words can't bring me down._

As the rich tenor voice carried above the noise of the bar, people who'd been talking fell silent and listened. The people at the pool table paused mid-shot and turned to the stage. Jackson couldn't take his eyes off the mechanic who was resolutely staring at his feet, avoiding looking out into the room.

_I am beautiful in every single way,  
Yes, words can't bring me down, oh no.  
Don't let me bring you down today._

"Hah! He's got the words wrong." Sol gloated.

"I think that was deliberate." Joe whispered with a glance at Jackson.

"Shh!" Craig hissed "I'm trying to listen!"

_To all your friends you're delirious,  
So consumed in all my doom.  
Tryin' hard to fill the emptiness, the piece is gone  
Left the puzzle undone, ain't that the way it is?_

_'Cause you are beautiful no matter what they say,  
Words can't bring you down, oh no.  
You are beautiful in every single way,  
Yes, words can't bring you down, oh no.  
Don't let me bring you down today._

The teenager had looked briefly in Jackson's direction at that, the builder feeling his stomach flip as their eyes met for a second before Aaron went back to gazing at the floor.

_No matter what we do,  
No matter what we say,  
We're the song that's outta tune  
Full of beautiful mistakes._

_And everywhere we go  
The sun will always shine,  
But tomorrow we might awake_  
_On the other side.  
_

The area in front of the stage was now full of people listening to the song. It just wasn't the sort of performance they associated with karaoke, most having come to listen to their friends make good natured fools of themselves. There had been a few decent efforts throughout the evening but this was the best by far.

_'Cause we are beautiful no matter what they say,  
Yes, words won't bring us down, oh no.  
We are beautiful in every single way,  
Yes, words can't bring us down, oh no.  
Don't let me bring you down today._

_Don't let me bring you down today._  
_Don't let me bring you down today._

As the song came to an end the room erupted with applause and whistles. As Aaron handed the microphone back to the MC and clambered down off the stage, quite a few men hurried forward to pat him on the back and talk to him making Jackson frown.

"You never told us he could sing!" Craig exclaimed accusingly.

The builder could only shrug in stunned consternation. He hadn't had any idea himself, the most musical thing he'd ever heard his boyfriend do was hum along to the radio.

"God he's hot!" Craig carried on, pulling mooneyes at where Aaron was surrounded by people offering to buy him a drink or asking for his phone number.

"You've changed your tune!" Jackson laughed "And don't even think about going there, he's mine!"

"I believe I mentioned that I'm tremendously shallow. And I'd worry about all the other people that are trying to go there as we speak if I were you... He's not looking very happy!"

The man was right. From where they stood Jackson had a clear view of the look on the mechanic's face as random men pawed at him trying to get his attention. Not very happy was an understatement.

"I'll see you guys soon okay? I'd best be going." the builder said as he grabbed his jacket. Not waiting for a reply he hurried down the steps and across the room. It looked like there were nearly twenty men of varying ages all clustered round Aaron who was obviously trying to get to the exit but not succeeding. Jackson heaved a couple of the blokes aside and amid complaints, pushed his way roughly into the middle.

"Jackson!" the younger man exclaimed thankfully as he finally made it to the front of the crowd "Can we leave? Please?"

"Don't you want to hang with your groupies?" the builder laughed receiving a number of nasty glares from those around him.

"They're doing me 'ead in! I'm gunna twat one of 'em soon if they don't piss off!" Aaron growled.

That remark seemed to deal with the problem, everyone suddenly more interested in being somewhere else other than within striking distance.

"So..." Jackson eyed his boyfriend up and down "Turns out you can sing."

The mechanic shrugged looking uncomfortable.

"Any particular reason you freaked out when I suggested it if you knew you were going to be awesome? Which you were by the way. And the song? It was amazing... Thank you."

Aaron blushed at the compliment but just gave another shrug in response to the question.

"You will tell me eventually you know?" the older man chuckled.

"Yeah I know." the teenager answered "Just... Just not tonight okay? Can we just go home?"

Jackson threw his arm around his shoulders and moved them towards the door "Come on then Christina, lets go find a taxi... Unless your limo's parked round the corner?"

The mechanic rolled his eyes at him then looked thoughtful for a second.

"Could we maybe go back to yours?" he asked quietly.

"Urm... If you want yeah..." the builder answered in surprise "You sure you don't want to go back to Emmerdale?"

"Yeah... I'd like to see where you live." the teenager smiled as they stepped out onto the street.

Jackson grinned. Maybe he'd get at least one half of his birthday wish after all.

* * *

_Let me know what you think!_

_Hmm... I sense a little smut coming on in the next chapter maybe :O Will see how confident I'm feeling in a bit!_

_PS Boring A/N - Beautiful by Christina Aguilera isn't mine in any way shape or form... If it was I'd be rich and would've bribed the Emmerdale producers to do the sensible thing long before now *sigh*_


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

Keys jingled and scratched against the lock just before something heavy thumped into the door. Someone swore. Someone else laughed. Then for a minute or two the only sound was the door creaking and rattling slightly on its hinges. Someone groaned. Someone else muttered something about hurrying up. The sound of keys came again with renewed urgency and this time was followed by the grating of the lock. The door burst open and two intertwined figures stumbled into the hallway. A light was flicked on, the door was closed and before he knew it Jackson was once again pressed up against the painted wood as Aaron assaulted his mouth with his own.

They hadn't been able to keep their hands off each other during the short walk from Bar West back to his flat. It usually only took him ten minutes or so, but this time it had taken more than twice that, Aaron seizing every opportunity to drag him into doorways and alleys to hungrily kiss him away from prying eyes, making up for lost time. He was sure he'd never been as turned on as he was by the time they reached the front door. Unlocking it had seemed like an awful lot of effort to go to and he could quite happily have ripped his lover's clothes off right then and there. The teenager however wasn't quite so keen on the idea of being stripped naked on the landing, especially when they'd heard the sounds of the neighbours coming in off the street! Still, there wasn't anything stopping him now they were safely inside...

As his tongue continued to battle against Aaron's, Jackson let his hands wander to the front of the mechanic's shirt, fingers fumbling blindly to pop the buttons. It seemed to take forever just to get one undone, the prospect of struggling with another four or five was unappealing to say the least. Grabbing a fistful of fabric in each hand, the builder jerked the front of the shirt apart, feeling the little discs of plastic ping off in all directions. Much easier. Aaron pulled away to look down and fingered his ruined top, giving Jackson a tantalising glimpse of muscular torso.

"I'll buy you a new one." the older man reassured seeing his boyfriend's startled expression. It was well worth the money!

The teenager shrugged as if he didn't really care right now, the movement of his shoulders causing the shirt to slide back, the material slipping sensuously down over his biceps and off his arms, falling away to puddle on the floor behind him. Jackson could only stand and stare, his brain feeling like it was overloading. The little smirk on Aaron's face told him that the mechanic knew exactly what he was doing to him.

"Flatmate?" the younger man asked.

"Away for the week." Jackson managed to reply.

The builder took a step away from the door, intending on getting his hands on the taut body currently on show in front of him, but as he moved forward the teenager backed away keeping some distance between them. Jackson frowned and stepped forward again, but again Aaron moved away. The little dance was repeated until the mechanic had backed all the way to the wall at the far end of the hallway, causing Jackson to grin in triumph.

The older man was about to close the few feet between them when Aaron raised a hand to his chest and began to gently play with one of his own nipples, his head falling back against the wall as a slight gasp escaped his lips. Jackson froze mid-step, feeling like a wildlife documentary film maker who's just wandered into a jungle clearing to find an elephant doing a handstand - afraid that any sudden movement might bring the startling display to an abrupt halt. His eyes followed the teenager's other hand as it wandered from neck to navel, the fingers brushing over velvety soft skin, goosebumps rising wherever they paused to touch. Aaron moaned softly as he allowed a rough palm to rasp across his abs, sliding down, fingertips just dipping below the waistband of his jeans before emerging again to start pulling at his belt.

The builder winced as he nearly bit through his lip. He felt a little dizzy watching his boyfriend teasing him like this, he wouldn't have thought that the younger man had the willpower. Usually when Aaron was aroused he would latched on to him and they wouldn't separate for more than a few seconds the whole time until they were done and satisfied. This distance thing was new, and he had to admit, intensely erotic. It felt kind of like he was a fly on the wall watching his lover getting himself off when he thought he was alone... Kind of naughty and exciting. He hadn't thought that Aaron could possibly do anything to turn him on more than he already did, but apparently he'd been wrong!

The belt was undone now and that hand had starting working at the buttons of his jeans. Jackson could feel his legs shaking as the dark denim parted and was eased down the mechanic's powerful thighs to fall around his ankles. The older man couldn't suppress a groan at the sight of the solid ridge in the tight grey fabric of his lover's boxer shorts. It felt like forever since he'd seen Aaron this close to naked and he was torn between dropping to his knees and taking him, and standing back and waiting to see what he did next. Deciding that he didn't want to spoil what was quite probably the best birthday present ever, Jackson continued to watch, though when the teenager whispered his name as he began to caress the bulge in his underwear, he had to lean heavily against the wall to stop himself falling down.

They stood that way for a couple of minutes, the builder staring dry mouthed as Aaron continued to stroke and play with himself, groaning and whimpering as fingers tickled and pinched various parts of his body. It wasn't long though before the teenager took things further, obviously needing more than the teasing touches he'd been allowing himself so far. Jackson had to bite on one finger to keep from crying out as his lover hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his boxers and quickly shucked them down, revelling the thick length of his erection. Both hands immediately started to run along the shaft, cupping his balls and squeezing gently. A deep, throaty growl made the older man's gaze flick from Aaron's waist to his face where he was met by hooded, lust-darkened sapphire eyes which practically begged him to join him.

Unable to resist any longer, Jackson staggered across the space between them and fell on his boyfriend as a starving man would on a banquet. His hands reacquainted themselves with the muscular contours of the younger man's body, fingers desperately digging into the firm flesh of pecs, biceps and buttocks, never settling in one place for too long, trying to take it all in at once. He buried his face into the crook of his lover's neck, hungrily inhaling the scent of him - a subtle blend of tangy aftershave, the hint of motor oil that lingered no matter what, and an underlying earthiness which was uniquely Aaron that never failed to make Jackson horny as hell.

Even as his hands were exploring the body he had trapped against the wall, the mechanic's were all over his own. Before he knew what was happening his top had practically been ripped over his head to be flung away down the hall, and he could feel strong hands stroking and scratching at the muscles of his shoulders and back, moving lower to push into his jeans and squeeze his arse. Obviously finding it a tight fit, one of the hands extricated itself and worked it's way between them and in a few seconds his jeans and underwear wear heading south, as too was Aaron's head.

Jackson moaned in loss as the neck he'd been happily licking and nuzzling was stolen from him, only to groan in pleasure as teeth raked across one sensitive nipple before moist lips kissed their way down his stomach. He held his breath as there was a sudden pause in activity, then released it in a huge gasp as warm wetness surrounded his cock. Looking down he watched mesmerised as Aaron's mouth moved up and down the length of him, hissing at the top of each stroke as a strong tongue swirled around the sensitive head, sighing in pleasure as the shaft then slid all the way to the back of his lover's throat. He'd never seen anyone concentrate so hard when giving him a blow job as Aaron did, the look of determination to please on the younger man's face making for an even more euphoric experience than it otherwise would be.

The builder was just starting to feel the tingling in the pit of his stomach that signalled an approaching orgasm when cool air was suddenly all that surrounded his hardness. He felt like crying as Aaron heaved himself to his feet... If he'd thought the sense of loss when the younger man removed his neck from his mouth earlier was great, the removal of the younger man's mouth from his cock felt like being punched in the stomach. He could feel an unbecoming whine of protest rising in his throat when warm lips brushed against his ear.

"Want you in me." Aaron rumbled huskily, making him shiver all over.

"Bedroom..." Jackson groaned, completely forgetting any complaints about the cessation of oral activity.

"Here. Now." the teenager growled, turning to face and lean against the wall for emphasis.

The builder suddenly found it difficult to breathe. He absolutely loved seeing Aaron from behind... The broad shoulders tapering to a narrow waist; the ridge of his spine plunging downwards from the base of his skull; the thick, stocky legs rising up... Everything drew his attention to the two perfectly toned globes of firm muscle that he longed to prise apart and slide himself between... The thought of it never failed to get him hard, but now, already massively turned on, he felt like he had a solid iron bar welded to his groin.

"Need stuff." was all he managed to choke out.

"Hurry." Aaron grunted.

Rushing to his room Jackson grabbed what he needed, getting himself ready as he hurried back to the hall. He'd only been gone a few seconds but in that time Aaron had managed to kick off his shoes, socks, jeans and boxers leaving them scattered across the floor, and was now leaning with his chest pressed against the wall, legs apart and bum stuck out enticingly. The only thing he was wearing now was a cheeky grin which took Jackson's breath away just as much as the body so obviously on display for him. The teenager's gaze dropped from his lover's face to his waist, and the builder couldn't help but smile as Aaron licked his lips at the sight before him and unconsciously settled his legs a little further apart. It was quite obvious that the mechanic was just as eager for what was about to happen as he was.

Moving to stand behind the younger man, Jackson flipped the cap off the lube and squeezed a generous amount onto his fingers before discarding the bottle. Too impatient now to wait much longer he quickly but thoroughly prepared his lover, making sure to nudge Aaron's prostate a few times, loving the sounds that the man made when he did so. Satisfied, the builder pressed his chest against the length of the teenager's back, hitching his hips slightly to get a good angle, then pushed forwards, impaling himself in one steady glide, not stopping until he felt his hips connect with the warm skin of Aaron's buttocks. The two of them stood gasping for breath as they got used to the connection they'd not experienced for so long, all their problems suddenly seeming insignificant when measured against the perfection of this moment.

Feeling the body beneath him relax, Jackson began to move, withdrawing almost all the way before returning in a long, slow thrust. Again and again and again he repeated the move, never increasing the pace, just revelling in the feel of Aaron's muscles squeezing down on him as he drove his cock into the mechanic's willing body. He could quite happily keep this up all night, but he knew that it wouldn't be long before his lover was demanding more, he could already feel the tension building in the younger man that would soon have him pleading to be taken faster and harder.

The builder loved it when it got to that point, as that was when all of Aaron's inhibitions flew out the window, when he finally gave up caring what even Jackson might think about him and would ask, sometimes even beg, for exactly what he wanted to be done to do to him. When those moments came they were the biggest high Jackson had ever experienced.

"Gah! Jackson _please_!" Aaron growled as if on cue.

The older man smirked happily and kept up his steady pace, holding firmly onto the teenager's hips to stop him moving faster.

"_Jacksoooonnnnnnn_!" the mechanic keened

"Hmm?"

The dam finally seemed to burst.

"_Dammit will you do me properly! I neeeed you! Please Jackson... Fuck me harder for god's sake! Please! Do it_..." Aaron sobbed.

Jackson smiled, feeling a warm glow inside as he listened as his lover's pleas continued... Aaron was quite definitely the most adorable man he had ever met, and it was at times like these that he could allow his brain to admit to itself what his heart already knew - that he was falling in love with him.

Taking pity on the teenager, and if he was perfectly honest, on himself too, he picked up speed. Soon he was slamming into his lover for all he was worth, the teenager crying out his approval. He knew he couldn't possibly keep this up for long, the coiling tension building in his balls letting him know that the orgasm that had been put on hold earlier would not be denied a second time. Thankfully he could tell from the way that Aaron's skin was starting to glisten with sweat and from the way the mechanic's body was shuddering that he was equally close to the edge.

Snaking an arm around his waist, Jackson took hold of the younger man's cock and began pumping it roughly in time to his thrusts. The teenager's back arched in pleasure and the builder couldn't resist biting tenderly on the muscle of his lover's shoulder as it came within reach of his mouth. The result was unexpectedly explosive. Aaron's whole body seemed to convulse as he threw his head back and cried out Jackson's name. The older man felt the column of flesh in his hand bucking wildly as his lover's orgasm tore through him... He managed to make a mental note to remember the spot he'd bitten for future experimentation, just before the muscles spasming around his erection drove him over the edge and thought ceased to be possible.

The two men collapsed against the wall, somehow managing to stay upright as they stood gasping for breath. Jackson idly stroked and kissed any patch of skin that came to hand as his mind slowly reassembled itself from the shattering experience it had just been through. Aaron seemed to be purring under him, low moans vibrating through him.

The sound of a key turning in a lock made them both jump, and before either of them could move the front door creaked open. Jackson peered back over his shoulder, fearing that he'd got the dates wrong for his flatmate being away, but he needn't have bothered.

"Well there's something I've not seen in fifteen years or so!" a cheerful voice rang out down the hall.

"Mum?" Jackson squeaked at the sight of the large woman wrapped in a bight green kaftan ferrying suitcase after suitcase through the door.

"Happy birthday darling! I would say surprise but that goes without saying given the situation... For everyone involved!" Hazel grinned at him "I see you've been unwrapping your presents." she added as she surveyed the discarded clothing strewn across the floor.

"Didn't you think to knock?" the builder snapped, annoyed that she was standing there staring at his naked backside. In fact she wasn't staring at him he realised, she was craning her neck unashamedly trying to get a good look at Aaron who was doing his best to dig through the wall Jackson still had him protectively pressed against.

"I thought the whole point of you giving me a key was that I didn't have to knock." she stated logically.

Her son stared at her open mouthed, unable to argue with that point. He opted for "Would you mind giving us some privacy please?" instead.

"Course! Not a problem... I'll just go and stick the kettle on. You two fancy a brew?" the woman asked as she moved forward.

"Uh-uh! Do not come any closer! You can wait outside for a minute!" Jackson exclaimed. The kitchen door was between him and his room. He knew she was only hoping to get a glimpse of his boyfriend in the buff and he suspected that he'd never get to see Aaron naked again if that happened! An image of trying to have sex with the teenager whilst he was wrapped up in a duffel coat flashed unbidden through his mind and it didn't please him in the slightest.

"Is that any way to treat your old mum? Not like I gave birth to you, raised you, gave you the best years of my life or anything..." Hazel moaned.

"Mum!" the builder said in a warning tone.

"Fine! I'll just wait outside on the cold and draughty landing then." she said turning around and heading out of the flat.

Just before the door closed Jackson could swear he heard her mutter 'Spoil sport.' but for the sake of his sanity chose to believe that he hadn't.

"That your mum then?" Aaron mumbled.

"Yeah... That's me mum. Sorry." the older man said finally dragging himself away from his lover.

"It's okay... She seems... Different. Bad timing though!" the mechanic replied straightening up.

"You can say that again! Don't think she saw anything she shouldn't have luckily... At least nothing of yours!" Jackson laughed.

"Do I... Do I have to stay and meet her?" the teenager asked nervously as he retrieved his clothes and started pulling them on, much to the older man's dismay.

"How about we leave that treat until morning eh? Think we've had an 'ard enough day without you going through that! Why don't ya hop into bed and I'll be through in a few minutes when I've sorted 'er out?"

Aaron smiled gratefully at him, gave him a quick kiss before scuttling off to the room Jackson indicated was his.

With a sigh, the builder pulled on his jeans and went to deal with his unexpected guest. He just knew that tomorrow was gong to be so very not fun! Still, at least the evening had turned out amazingly well in the end, and given that they'd not had sex in over a week, chances were that once he'd disposed of his mother, he and Aaron would be up for a good few hours yet... 'Happy birthday to me!' Jackson thought to himself with a huge grin.


	31. Chapter 31

_Sorry this chapter took a bit longer than normal to post, I've had serious writers block brought on my a couple of new story ideas that I don't know whether to write or not :-s Hope it's not too shonky!_

**Chapter 31**

Aaron awoke to the sound of an unfamiliar alarm, and staring groggily around the room it took him a few seconds to remember where he was. The sight of a tuft of curly brown hair sticking out from under the duvet next to him brought all the events of the previous night rushing back. Glancing at the buzzing clock on the nightstand he realised that he'd only had a couple of hours sleep, but quite frankly he couldn't care less given what had kept him awake. Stretching lazily he grinned as he thought about what he and Jackson had got up to. Making up was certainly fun… He might have to start more arguments if that was the result... He suspected he'd be reminded of his boyfriend every time he sat down for the next few days.

The only cloud in an otherwise sunny sky of happy memories was Jackson's mother walking in whilst they'd just finished their first bout in the hallway. If the builder hadn't been mostly shielding him from view he was sure that he'd have died of embarrassment right then and there. The woman seemed to have absolutely no shame! Most people would've turned right around and given them a chance to get dressed, but not Hazel Walsh… She'd just stood there chattering away as if she'd just run into them down the pub! _And_ he was sure she'd been doing her best to get a good look at him in the buff, something that Jackson had confirmed by blushing furiously when he'd mentioned his suspicions. Apparently it was a little game she liked to play with her son's boyfriends!

"Can you turn that racket off?" a husky voice groaned from under the covers interrupting his reverie.

Aaron leaned across and after a few attempts figured out how to silence the alarm. Pulling the quilt back he smirked down at his lover whose face had scrunched up as morning light afflicted his eyes.

"Rise and shine sleepy! Time to get up and face the day!" the mechanic said in a sing-song voice.

"Oh god… Why the hell are you so cheerful? It's not natural!" the older man grumbled as he tried unsuccessfully to snatch the quilt back.

"'Cause I got to have sex with the hottest of hot blokes last night!" the teenager answered with a contented sigh.

"Well I suppose that's a valid reason..." Jackson grudgingly admitted "Guess it's no wonder I'm so miserable then since I only got to have sex with you!" he then added with a cheeky smile.

"Hmph!" Aaron snorted "And here was me planning on giving you a special wake up call… Don't think I'll bother now!"

"Aww you know I'm a right grump in the mornings!" the builder said pulling puppy dog eyes as he grabbed the younger man and pulled him over on top of him "Ya usually just ignore me… So why change the habit of a lifetime - just carry on with yer plan as if I'd not said anything?"

"Weeell… I dunno… Not sure I'm in the mood now." the mechanic muttered sulkily.

"You're _always_ in the mood!" Jackson laughed "It's one of the many things I like about ya!"

"Maybe if ya told some of the other things you like about me it might make me forget about ya being mean…" the teenager pouted.

"Fishing for compliments are we?" the older man smirked "I suppose I can do that… Well let's see… Things I like about Aaron Livesy… Where to start? Where to start?...

I like the way he's very forgiving when I say stupid things in the morning... How's that?"

Aaron failed to look impressed.

"Oookay... Something else then... Erm... I like his beautifully soft skin," the builder began, trailing fingertips lightly down the younger man's spine causing him to shiver and gasp "And his amazing rock hard bum." he finished with a squeeze of said body part.

"I knew it," the mechanic sighed sadly "You only want me fer me body."

"No no! I've not finished yet!" Jackson exclaimed hurriedly "My favourite thing about Aaron Livesy," he continued, looking his lover in the eye "Is the way he makes me feel happier than I've ever been before."

Aaron frowned at his boyfriend. He was about to tell him that that wasn't funny when he realised that there was no trace of humour on Jackson's face, just complete seriousness. He didn't know what to say... What are you supposed to say when someone tells you quite possibly the nicest thing you've ever heard? He felt his lips twitch and then he couldn't stop his mouth from breaking out in the hugest of smiles. He could feel himself blushing furiously as well! He knew he must look like an idiot, lying there with a bright red face, grinning down at the builder like a fool, but he couldn't help it. Now _he_ was feeling happier than he ever had before! And Jackson was still looking at him with that earnest expression. It was too much, he had to get out of sight or he might start crying and that would be truly embarrassing!

Dropping a quick kiss on the older man's lips, the mechanic shuffled down his lover's body to disappear under the covers.

"Aaron wait! You don't have to doooo... Ooo!" Jackson moaned as the teenager started doing warm wet things to him "I mean... AHH! Wait! Aaroooonnn!" he gave up trying to protest. He was only human after all.

Five minutes later the teenager emerged from beneath the quilt licking his lips and sporting a self satisfied expression on his face.

"You ready to get up now?" he asked just before kissing Jackson deeply.

"If... You thought... What... You've just done... Was gunna make me... Get out of bed... Any faster... Then you're... Mental!" the older man panted as they broke apart.

"How about me and me beautifully soft skin and amazing rock hard bum, naked and soapy in the shower? Would that get you up?" Aaron asked innocently.

"In more ways than one probably!" the builder laughed making a miraculous recovery "Come on then, you talked me into it, shower then brekkie. Then off to work I suppose."

The mechanic jumped out of bed and pulled on his boxers before heading towards the door.

"You might want to put yer pants on!" Jackson called after him "Mum's probably waiting out there and yer shorts don't really leave a lot to the imagination!" he chuckled.

Aaron looked down at the straining material and blushed. Hurrying back he grabbed his jeans and hopped about the room trying to pull them on as Jackson sat on the edge of the bed watching in amusement.

"I meant what I said ya know… About you making me happy I mean." the builder said quietly.

The teenager froze with his trousers half way on and looked nervously at the older man. Straightening up he wrestled his jeans the rest of the way up and buttoned them quickly.

"Jackson… I… You… I…" he stuttered before clenching his jaw, a look of frustration crossing his face at his inability to vocalise his emotions. He wanted to tell Jackson he felt the same but he just didn't seem to be able to get the words out. Moving to drop to his knees in front of his boyfriend, he looked him square in the eyes before leaning forward to kiss him with all the passion and ferocity he could muster, hoping to convey his feelings in that one gesture. Pulling back he studied the builder carefully, desperate to see understanding on the older man's face.

Warm, mesmerising brown eyes fluttered open and Jackson raised a callused hand to ghost across the teenager's cheek, a gentle smile playing on his lips. Aaron felt the tightness in his chest ease as they gazed at one another, knowing that the older man could tell what he was thinking. He was just about to steal another quick kiss when there was a banging at the bedroom door.

"If you two have finished in there, breakfast's ready!" Hazel's voice rang out.

Jackson closed his eyes and sighed with exasperation as Aaron scowled at the interruption.

"Guess we'd best grab that shower after we eat or we'll never hear the end of it." the builder murmured apologetically as he climbed to his feet.

-x-x-

Hazel surreptitiously studied her son's boyfriend over the rim of her morning mug of coffee. She really didn't know what to make of the young man. He was certainly very different from the usual sort that Jackson went for… Where they were all brimming with cheerful, outgoing self-confidence, Aaron was all quiet and edginess. He was either shy and nervous or just a moody, miserable git, she couldn't decide which. It didn't help that he'd hardly said two words since the two of them had emerged for breakfast. He mostly seemed to communicate through a series shrugs and facial expressions, hard work for someone as naturally chatty as she was.

The lad certainly came up trumps in the looks department though she'd give him that. Much, much better than the last… Thing… Jackson had taken up with. Despite all the bruises and bandages, she'd thought that Aaron was easy on the eyes when she'd first seen him in the hospital. Now he was healed up she had to hand it to Jackson, he'd certainly bagged himself a looker. Despite that though, she couldn't bring herself to like the teenager. He wasn't good enough, not by a long shot.

There was no way she could forget about his attack on her son, the most precious person in the world to her. Jackson insisted that he'd forgiven him and that nothing like that would happen again, but only yesterday evening she'd called to wish him a happy birthday and had to hear about how Aaron had ruined it by being a selfish misery. The younger man may not have lashed out with his fists this time, but he'd made Jackson feel just as bad as if he had. Obviously they'd made up again later, but that was beside the point, it should never have happened in the first place.

Unfortunately there wasn't anything much she could do about the situation. Jackson clearly had it bad for the teenager; she only had to see him glance at the younger man to tell that he was falling hard and fast. He was much too kind-hearted for his own good, it was always him that ended up getting hurt when his relationships came to an end, and given what she knew of Aaron's behaviour so far, she had no doubts that this one would end just as badly as the others. Just looking at the mechanic sitting staring dourly at his plate she could see that this wasn't the man for her son. But interfering wouldn't get her any thanks, Jackson was much too stubborn to listen to her about anything. She'd just have to be prepared to pick up the pieces when he finally realised Aaron was wrong for him. No harm in stirring the pot a little though…

"So how was your birthday love?" she asked sweetly, watching Aaron out of the corner of her eye. She saw the teenager tense and glance quickly at Jackson before resolutely turning his gaze back to his breakfast.

"Mum… You already know how my birthday was," her son sighed "I told you about it yesterday."

"Oh come on! You 'ardly told me anything! You know I like to 'ear all the little details!" she encouraged.

"Mum!" Jackson said in a warning tone.

"Well 'scuse me for showing an interest I'm sure! How about you Aaron?" she said turning her attention to the mechanic "Did you enjoy Jackson's birthday? You get 'im anything nice? Sure you must've got 'im something special what with him being yer boyfriend and all?"

"MUM!" her son snapped, sounding angry this time "Just leave it!"

Even as he was speaking though Aaron had mumbled something.

"What was that?" Hazel asked, ignoring her son "You don't 'alf mumble you know!"

"I said," the teenager replied with a scowl, speaking overly loudly and clearly like he was addressing someone old and deaf "I have not had a chance to show it to him yet."

"You got me something?" Jackson asked sounding surprised, before she could say anything further.

"Kind of…" the younger man answered a little uncertainly.

"How can you 'kind of' get someone a present?" Hazel demanded "You've either got 'im something or you 'aven't." She was happy to see the mechanic go red in the face at that, certain that the little toe rag was making the whole thing up just to try to stay in Jackson's good books.

"And I thought you said you were skint?" the builder added with a frown.

Aaron sat looking uncomfortable, pushing a piece of sausage around his plate with a fork, glancing nervously between the two people interrogating him. Finally he let out a big sigh and turned his full attention on Jackson.

"I bought a new bed... A double with a decent mattress."

Hazel snorted "How exactly do you figure that buying yerself a new bed counts as a birthday present for Jackson in any way? And just you remember that I'm 'is mum before you answer that... There are some things that I really do not want to know about!"

"Ya seemed pretty interested in 'em last night." the mechanic muttered.

"Aaron..." Jackson groaned pinching the bridge of his nose feeling a headache coming on. It was never a good sign when his mother turned that shade of crimson.

"It counts as a present for him," Aaron ground out whilst glaring at Hazel "Because he's always stopping at mine even when it'd make more sense not to, 'cause he knows that that's where I feel most comfortable and ee wants to make things easier on me. Ee could complain and argue and make a fuss about me being 'ard work, but ee doesn't even though he'd 'ave every right, and ee does all that 'cause he cares about me. And 'cause ee cares about me ee's put up with sleeping in a crappy single bed that's been doing 'is back in for weeks without once saying a single thing about it. So I got a new bed so as when ee stays over at mine to make me happy, he can get a decent night's sleep and not be all achy and in pain when ee goes to work the next day."

"How'd you know your bed's been doing my back in?" the builder exclaimed. He's not mentioned it to anyone and he thought he'd kept it pretty well hidden.

"I'm not an idiot." the teenager replied "Yes, even if I act like one a lot of the time before you say anything! And I ain't completely self absorbed... You think I don't notice you wincing when you stretch in the morning? Or the way you toss and turn in the middle of the night when you think I'm asleep? Well I do! Took me a while to figure it out but when I did there was no way I wasn't gunna do something about it. I just wish you'd felt you could've told me. I don't want you making yerself miserable just to please me Jackson... Thought relationships were meant to be about compromise or whatever? If you hide stuff that's bugging you then it's never gunna get sorted and yer gunna end up hating me!"

"I couldn't hate you even when I tried to remember!" Jackson laughed as he reached across to squeeze his boyfriend's hand, receiving a small grin in response. He knew how hard it would've been for Aaron to say all that even if it'd just been the two of them, but in front of his mother... He actually felt quite proud.

"Hang on... If you're skint, how'd you afford a new bed?" the older man queried.

"I'm skint 'cause I bought the bed! I was doing all those extra hours at the garage to pay it off... Still ended up being more than I thought though..." Aaron answered with a sigh "I was hoping to have a bit left over so's I could take you out somewhere nice for your birthday last night but I didn't have enough. Ended up spending the afternoon getting Pearl to teach me how to make a shepherd's pie for ya 'cause I couldn't afford owt special."

"That's me fav!" the builder beamed.

"That were kinda the point..." the mechanic said with a roll of his eyes.

"Can't believe you remembered!" Jackson exclaimed "Or that you spent a whole afternoon with Pearl just for me for that matter! Why didn't you tell me that's what you 'ad planned instead of saying we were getting some rubbishy takeaway?"

"It was meant to be a surprise." Aaron replied glumly.

"Ooohh..." the older man said, a look of realisation spreading across his face "That's why you were so pissed off when Sol and Joe turned up?"

"Yeah... And yeah I know that I acted like a complete muppet."

"I wish you would've told me... We could've just had a few drinks in the Woolie then they could've headed off and we could've gone to yours."

"No!" the younger man snapped surprising the builder "Yesterday should've been about you, not about me! When I found out you'd decided to go into town I should've just gone along with it 'cause it was what you wanted! I'm really sorry-"

"It's okay Aaron!" Jackson interrupted "We went through this yesterday."

"I know... I just... I really do mean it." the mechanic replied quietly.

"Happy now are you mum? Enough 'little details' for ya?" the older man asked, turning to his mother.

"Hmm? Oh... Yes love..." Hazel answered distractedly "You two boys had best be getting ready for work hadn't you? I'll clear up in here." she said getting to her feet and collecting up the dishes and cutlery.

Jackson frowned at her in puzzlement for a second before giving Aaron a nod towards the doorway. The two of them quickly hurried off leaving the woman standing at the sink, staring thoughtfully out the window. She was back to not knowing what to think of her son's boyfriend and it troubled her. Normally she felt that she was a pretty good judge of character, but just when she thought she had the boy pegged he turned around and showed a different face...

She hadn't heard much about Aaron at first, it was only after he'd hit him that Jackson had told her the whole story of how the teenager was only just coming out. Whilst she'd understood that he was confused and in pain, that was no excuse for what he'd done and she'd labelled him a nasty little thug. Then she'd heard about his attempted suicide and couldn't help but feel bad for him as it became clear how filled with self-loathing he must've been. Then Jackson had told her about the court case and how Aaron had stood up and admitted that he was gay in front of everyone. Her views had softened slightly, though she couldn't forgive the violence, but then had come the incident at the garage where Jackson could have been killed if it hadn't been for the mechanic and she'd been swayed to give the boy another chance. Since then the relationship between the two men seemed to have more ups and downs than a rollercoaster and she just could accept it. It just wasn't healthy. Whenever she spoke to Jackson she never knew if he'd be happy as Larry or on the verge of tears and she could never understand why he put up with it. At least not until a few minutes ago.

He'd always told her that there was something about Aaron, something that he couldn't explain and that few people seemed to see, and it was that which drew him to the teenager. Hazel hadn't seen anything special about him at all at first, and had thought her son was deluding himself, but then she'd pushed the teenager, hoping to show Jackson there was nothing there, but instead... Instead where one moment there had been a selfish, thoughtless child, suddenly there was a rather sweet young man who understood how much Jackson cared about him, and who in turn obviously cared a great deal about Jackson. He was far from perfect, but he was trying, and she knew that this was what her son saw and loved... That Aaron was making the effort and he was doing it for Jackson.

Hazel shook her head and smiled... No, Aaron wasn't good enough for Jackson, but maybe given half a chance and some time he could be.


	32. Chapter 32

_Still struggling to write I'm afraid :( Sorry it's taking so long to update anything!_

**Chapter 32**

Jackson glanced across the cab at Aaron. The teenager had been staring quietly out through the windscreen of the van ever since they'd left the flat, his brows furrowed and a small frown on his face in what the builder recognised as his thoughtful look. He could guess all too well what his boyfriend had on his mind.

"I'm sorry about mum… She can be a bit much sometimes." he said, reaching over to give Aaron's leg a quick squeeze.

"It's okay," the younger man answered with a shrug "Can't exactly blame 'er for not liking me."

"She doesn't not like you… She just… Doesn't know you properly yet." the builder reassured.

"Come off it!" the mechanic snorted "You know as well as I do she thinks I'm crap."

"She's just worried about me is all. She'll come round. I reckon you impressed 'er with your little speech actually." the older man grinned as he saw Aaron pull a face out of the corner of his eye.

"She ain't the only one that cares about ya." the teenager muttered so quietly that Jackson suspected he hadn't meant it to be heard, but it nevertheless made his heart swell a little more for the younger man.

"She's way better than my mother at least. Count yerself lucky you don't have to put up with that cow!" Aaron grumbled.

"Aww… Chas isn't all that bad!" Jackson laughed "I know she ain't exactly yer typical mum but I reckon she loves ya just as much as mine loves me."

"You're kidding me right?" the mechanic asked incredulously "If she 'ad 'er way me and you'd be finished by now and she'd 'ave me tarting meself about town like some slapper!"

"Where'd you get an idea like that from?" the older man frowned "She seemed really pleased we were working stuff out when I saw 'er a couple of days back."

"She's unbelievable!" Aaron exploded "She's just trying to keep you sweet so's she can poke 'er nose into my business! She's knows there's no way I'll be talking to 'er ever again so she's gunna go through you!"

"I dunno… She seemed really genuine… Said some really nice things about us as a couple." the builder replied uncertainly "What's she done to make you think she doesn't want us to be together?"

"She came to see me after… After the thing with Scarlett… At first she were all 'Don't make the same mistakes that I did' and stuff and I really believed that she was sorry for how her life turned out and that she wanted better for me… But then when I told 'er that… That I were… That I was having trouble seeing a way through what'd happened, she did a complete one-eighty and started going on about how I needed to dump you and go find someone else, and how she couldn't wait to go clubbing with me and help me pull! I mean as _if_!" the teenager was practically shouting by then, his anger with his mother boiling to the surface once more.

Jackson sat in thoughtful silence for a couple of minutes as he steered the vehicle along the narrow winding roads towards the village. What Aaron was telling him about Chas seemed to be in complete contradiction to how the woman had acted when she'd appeared in Dale Head to the other day. If she'd only told him she was glad he and Aaron were back together and left it at that, then maybe he could accept that she was just covering her true feelings about the relationship. But no, she'd gone on about how happy she was that he'd met her son, that she was so proud of the man that Aaron was becoming and that she had no doubt that it was all down to him and Paddy. She'd practically pleaded with him to look after the young mechanic and to be patient with him… It had seemed really weird at the time, but now he'd found out that Aaron was so incredibly angry with her that they weren't speaking, it made sense.

Chas wasn't stupid though, she must've known that what she'd said to her son wouldn't go down well. She even seemed to have started out on a different tack, said stuff that had made Aaron sit up and listen… But then she'd turned round and said things which were pretty much guaranteed to drive him away from her and toward... Jackson's eyes widened in shock and he quickly pulled the van over to the side of the road.

"What's going on?" the younger man frowned at him in puzzlement "We're gunna be late for work."

"Do you reckon that yer mum believed you'd dump me and go off on the pull with 'er in tow?" the builder asked.

"Do we have to talk about _her_?" Aaron groaned.

"Humour me…" Jackson replied.

The mechanic rolled his eyes at that "She might think that if she were stupid." he muttered.

"And do ya think that she's stupid?" his boyfriend continued.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" the teenager smirked back.

"Aaron…" Jackson sighed.

"Fine… No, I don't think me mam is _that_ stupid."

"So why'd she say it?"

Aaron opened his mouth to answer and then shut it again as his brows furrowed. He obviously wanted to say 'Because she's stupid.' but now couldn't. Jackson could practically hear the gears turning in the younger man's head.

"You think she played me?" Aaron asked, his face scrunching up as if he'd smelt something unpleasant.

"I dunno…" the builder answered with a shrug "You know her better than I do, d'you think she'd do something like that?

"She's a Dingle." the teenager growled in a tone of voice that implied there was no sneaky, underhanded scheme that a member of his family wouldn't consider.

"Well… She must love you a lot." the older man said quietly.

"How's you figure that? Messing with my head and pissing me off's not something someone who loves me'd do!" Aaron snapped.

"Guess it depends on whether that person believes you'd be better off having me in your life instead of them… If she hadn't said what she did, would we be here like this now? Together?" Jackson asked.

The mechanic stared at him blankly for a few seconds before shaking his head and scowling.

"She… I… I…" Aaron spluttered "I can't think about this now. We need to get to work." he muttered finally turning to gaze out the window again.

The builder, knowing when to let a matter drop, started up the van again and pulled out onto the road, glancing worriedly at his boyfriend. He could see the muscle in Aaron's jaw working away which was never a good sign. Surely what Chas had done was a good thing? Most people would be thrilled that they had someone who cared about them as much as she clearly did about her son, but then again Aaron wasn't most people. Maybe he should have just let things lie… Now all he could do was hope that the younger man wouldn't do anything they'd both end up regretting.

-x-x-

"I pay you to work, not to stand there daydreaming about twinkle toes!"

Cain's loud voice snarling in his ear nearly made Aaron jump out of his skin. The teenager glared at his smirking uncle and went back to fiddling with the engine of the silver Nissan he was supposed to be working on, not bothering to waste his time putting the man right. He couldn't concentrate. Other people's strange rattling noises seemed supremely unimportant no matter what his boss may think, there was just too much going on in his head to spare them even a couple of minutes attention.

Ever since getting to work Aaron had been unable to think about anything other than his mother, the conversation they'd had that afternoon in his room, and what Jackson had had to say about it this morning… He felt stupid. Really, really stupid. Of course the builder was right about what Chas had done, the man was always right about everything. Maybe if she hadn't scared him so much with her talk of Jackson meeting someone else, or infuriated him by suggesting that he just move on to the next bloke, as if anyone could ever come close to measuring up to his boyfriend, he would've seen what she was doing himself. But the fact was that she had scared him, and she had infuriated him, and he'd done precisely what she expected – thought the worst of her and walked away.

He was so confused! On the one hand, although he'd like to think that he wouldn't actually have gone through with what would've been the biggest mistake of his life, if he was honest with himself it was possible that he and Jackson would've been finished if his mum hadn't interfered. But on the other, she'd manipulated him, played him like a puppet, and he hated it! He needed to talk it all through with Jackson. The older man would say a few words, calm him down and then he'd be able to consider things clearly.

Aaron smiled to himself as he thought about his boyfriend. He'd never imagined that he could feel this way about anyone, let alone another man, it wasn't really that long ago that the very idea of it would've made him feel ill, but now he couldn't imagine what he'd do without him. He'd gotten used to being on his own and fending for himself, this sudden need he had for another human being was terrifying... It meant that Jackson had the power to hurt him like nobody else could. He put up with that fear though, because each day since they'd gotten together he'd woken up finding he hated himself a little less – that voice of self-loathing he'd grown so used to over the years was getting quieter and quieter, and another which sounded suspiciously like a certain builder was getting louder, telling him to relax, to keep calm, and reassuring him that he was worthwhile. He still wasn't at the point where he could figure everything out for himself though, he still needed Jackson to help him be a better person.

Checking to make sure that Cain wasn't spying on him, Aaron fished his mobile out of his pocket and fired off a quick text message asking Jackson to go to the pub with him for lunch to talk about the Chas situation. It only took a minute for the reply to come through saying that the older man would come out to meet him in half an hour. Feeling much better, the teenager knuckled down to locating the source of the mysterious rattle, confident that with Jackson on the case everything would be fine.

As promised, half an hour later Jackson appeared out of the back door of the cottage and wandered over to where Aaron was finishing up on the Nissan.

"You want to be careful bending over like that, someone might come up behind you and take advantage..." the builder said in a conspiratorial whisper.

"Promises, promises..." the teenager sighed glancing up at his smirking lover.

"Don't tempt me!" Jackson laughed "I'm sure Cain wouldn't appreciate it!"

"Wouldn't appreciate what?" the older mechanic's gruff voice growled from the garage door.

"Nowt!" Aaron answered quickly as he straightened up, stripping of his work gloves.

"That so? And where d'you think you're going?" Cain asked, raising an eyebrow at his nephew.

"Lunch." the teenager shot back.

"Err... No you ain't." the older man replied.

"Why not!" Aaron exclaimed.

"'Cause the owner of that," Cain said with a jab of his finger towards the silver car "Is coming to pick it up in half an hour."

"I've fixed it! There's hardly anything left to do!"

"Well then it won't take you long to sort it then will it?" Aaron's uncle snapped "If you hadn't wasted half the morning mooning about over lover boy 'ere you'd've been finished by now!" he threw over his shoulder as he disappeared back into the garage.

The younger man turned to find his boyfriend standing there with a smug expression on his face "What?" he asked suspiciously.

"Been mooning about over me have ya?" Jackson chuckled.

Aaron rolled his eyes.

"I've been thinking about me mum and what you said earlier actually!" he scowled.

"Oh." the builder replied looking disappointed.

"And maybe mooning over ya a teeny bit..." Aaron admitted shyly, restoring the smile to Jackson's face.

"How about I go order our lunches and get us a round in at the Woolie whilst you finish up here?" the older man suggested.

"Cool... I won't be more than ten minutes."

"Okay, well I'll see ya there in a bit then.".

The mechanic went back to his engine but surreptitiously watched his boyfriend saunter off down the driveway... He loved the way Jackson moved, there was just something so sexy about the way he stuck his hands in his pockets and hunched his shoulders slightly... And the way his jeans clung to his muscular arse didn't hurt either Aaron thought as he unconsciously licked his lips. Just before turning the corner the older man looked back and winked at him, letting him know that Jackson knew exactly what he was doing. Rather than feeling embarrassed at being caught though, he found himself grinning and winking back which made his lover laugh happily as he vanished up the road. Maybe he was finally getting the hang of this whole gay thing after all.

-x-x-

Pushing through the doors of the Woolpack Aaron glanced around for his boyfriend, quickly spotting Jackson sitting at a table off to the right, currently engrossed in reading a newspaper and sipping from one of the two pints of lager in front of him. He was just crossing the room to join him when an unmistakable raucous laugh echoed out from behind. Turning, the mechanic saw his mother, Charity and Gennie sat in the alcove tucked away by the door, giggling over something or other. The sight of Chas brought all his confusion and hurt and anger rushing back, and he promptly forgot that he was there to meet Jackson to have a calm, rational discussion about those very feelings.

Storming over to the women's table he glared at his mother and pointed a shaking finger at her.

"YOU!" he yelled, causing everyone in the room to fall silent "I know what you did!"

Chas's eyes widened in shock as her son towered over her, a look of fury on his face.

"Aaron love! What's the matter?" she exclaimed.

"You're what's the matter!" the teenager growled "You tricked me! That what you and yer mates are having a laugh about eh? How stupid your son is?"

"Aaron..." Jackson's soft voice cut through the haze in his mind "Calm down..."

Aaron turned his head to find concerned brown eyes just a few inches from his own. All the anger drained out of him leaving him just feeling lost. Looking back to his mum he saw her staring at Jackson with the strangest of expressions on her face, an odd mixture of emotions that for once he found he could read. There was relief there, obviously for the fact that his boyfriend had stepped in to stop him doing anything stupid and causing more of a scene than he had already. A touch of happiness, maybe because she could see how much Jackson cared about him and that he would actually listen to the older man. But underlying it all there seemed to be sense of loss and of longing and Jackson's words from that morning came back to him...

"_...it depends on whether that person believes you'd be better off having me in your life instead of them…"_

He felt hollow as it really hit home just what his mother had done. She'd sacrificed her own relationship with him to push him back to Jackson. His anger had stemmed from the feeling that she had in some way once again given up on him, but in reality she'd given up on herself and had done what she must truly have believed would be the right thing. People were always saying that Jackson was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and Chas had done everything she possibly could to make sure that he didn't lose that, even though it meant she lost her only son.

He looked at Jackson, the person who was quickly becoming the centre of his world, and imagined being without him... Then he looked back at his mum who was watching the two of them sadly, like someone out alone on a freezing winter night peering in through the warmly lit windows of a family home, and all the bad feelings he'd been harbouring against her since she'd left him with his father crumbled away to nothing. He might not be able to forget all the selfish things that she'd done in his life, but in the face of the revelation that she truly loved him in the here and now, he could at least try to forgive the past.

"I know what you did." he croaked a second time, swallowing thickly past the lump that had formed in his throat.

Chas opened her mouth to reply, but she never got the chance as she suddenly found herself being hugged tightly by her son in a way she hadn't experienced since Aaron was a little boy. Tears welled up in her eyes as she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him back hard.

"Thank you." he whispered raggedly in her ear.


End file.
